Birthing plans are utter nonsense, aren't they?

[thingymaboob]

I'm pregnant with my first but I'm a paramedic and I've delivered my fair share of babies, some of whom needed resuscitating and some of the mothers needed other various interventions. I guess people don't call Paramedics unless the shit is hitting the fan! I have also delivered others where is was a text book delivery and everyone was fine so I know it's not all doom and gloom! I now work for a large hospital trust with a big maternity unit and I attend obstetric emergencies as part of my job. So, I know my experience is very extreme. I have been asked to think about a birthing plan but I think birthing plans are nonsense because nothing goes to plan and the midwife just laughed when I said "my plan is to have a baby and no one die, I also want to be a stones throw away from the obstetricians and anaesthetist and to have as much medicine and medical intervention as possible". I cannot stand all this hippy dippy nonsense and la la la head in the clouds. I want a practical pragmatic approach, but why do people think I'm being negative?!

I feel like I'm missing something here. Why wouldn't you write a birth plan?? I thought the whole idea of them was to give your preferences for the type of birth you wanted and to include what you'd like to happen if those preferences have to go out the window for whatever reason. (You can of course still override this when in labour if you want.) It takes literally ten minutes to write and seems to me like a very sensible use of ten minutes.

I think the majority of people have enough common sense to realise that a birth plan isn't a magic spell, surely?!

With regard to your comments about "hippy dippy" stuff and "la la land"...just because you want all the drugs and as much medical intervention as possible (WTF, by the way), it doesn't mean everyone else has to, does it?

Just because they are a waste of time for some people in hindsight doesn't mean they are for all people. That's very blinkered.

I’ve never heard them discussed ever except on here. I’ve had one child and didn’t have one, nor did anyone ask if I wanted one.

I think they’re pointless. I just wanted them to get baby out safely. I didn’t give a fuck how they did it.

I was sceptical. With dd I ended up just ticking the one in my maternity notes (birth centre, partner present, vitamin k etc). My requests were listened to where possible.

I’d do the same again, possibly with the addition of a note about forceps v section, which I’ve read about since.

I wouldn't call them utter nonsense, but they're more of a "wishlist" than a plan, because you never know what will change at the time.

Mine was quite simple, but even then I didn't get to do one thing - I wanted to make sure I wasn't on my back giving birth because of back problems, and wanted to be on my feet as much as possible - but on the day, I couldn't actually stand up, so "on my feet" just wasn't an option. I was even wheelchaired to the loo every time!

The breastfeeding thing is useful, because it does tell the MWs that you want to at least try this, and, in my case, this meant that they got breastfeeding advisors to come and help me with it as DS1 wasn't very good to start with (tongue tie and mucus in his stomach meant he took a while to get going).

Also, it does tell you about what injections the baby or you might be offered and you can refuse those on the form. I lived in the outskirts of London where a BCG was offered on day 1 - I didn't want that. But I did want him to have his vitamin K injection, especially as I'd been on anticoagulants for a blood clotting condition.

That was all on the birth plan form when I had DS1 in the UK nearly 10 years ago.

I read “stand and deliver” and just went with the flow in the end. Had lovely Nct classes on birth and did Yoga etc and was mentally up for it but circumstances were completely the opposite as baby was in distress. I think it’s worth knowing options eg delayed cord clamping if you’re lucky to be in that situation and an ELCS actually gives much more ‘plan’ ability (not that I’m promoting as such; I had an EMCS, hated it but can see the benefits of choosing an ELCS, though I’d prefer a vbac.)

I think it’s worth thinking through scenarios but I think more disappointment and even trauma can occur if you don’t get what you dreamed of.

Actually, I think it’s of more value to research and spend time finding out about breastfeeding, local support groups, who to go to if there’s tongue tie or to check if there’s any tt, who to call if you’re having feeding issues, what sorts of issues can occur and how to work through them. IMHO.

So not a birth plan but just read up on all the possibilities and choices and how the choices change according to circumstances. I guess being prepared for labour at home is wise eg tens, ball etc.

Totally agree with you OP. I did one and they totally ignored it. A friend did one that said ‘no epidural’ and when it all went wrong and she needed interventions they wouldn’t let her have an epidural as they wanted her to ‘have the birth she wanted’. So she got the birth from hell with no decent pain relief (definitely not what she wanted!!). I think we do women a massive disservice by pretending that they can control this with a plan and not being honest about the reality of childbirth. I don’t think your attitude is negative I think it’s realistic. If it goes well that’ll be a bonus but if it doesn’t you won’t be in shock like I was.

My first (and currently only) experience if childbirth went exactly as according to my birth plan - nice home birth, TENS machine and gas and air for pain relief, skin to skin, delayed cord clamping etc. That's not to say I wouldn't have happily taken the epidural if it had been on offer.

Pg with number 2 currently and I'll hope for similar but be more open to the possibility of other things happening. Like others have mentioned, I can't speak during childbirth, so if it all goes tits up and I need a transfer anywhere then I'd like my preferences on pain relief (all the drugs), and EMCS over forceps written down in advance.

I think your view is skewed by being a medic OP. I work in a medical environment and was written off as being a hippy for wanting a home birth. My medic colleagues all wanted an ELCS. Thankfully we all got the births we wanted, they were just very different, and that's absolutely fine!