Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Just found out I'm pregnant with #2 - advice needed!

40 replies

firststeps · 10/04/2007 11:55

my ds will be just about 2 when the new baby is born, this pregnancy is a bit of a shock and I'm wondering how we will cope with things like getting 2 children to sleep, co -ordinating bathtime etc - any advice will be gratefully received!
PS is it a nightmare for the first year?!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fryalot · 10/04/2007 11:56

no, not at all. It's a bit difficult for the first couple of months, but that's all. Then the fun starts.

Congratulations

Nemo2007 · 10/04/2007 12:01

not at all you will cope it will be great. Ds was 2.2yrs when DD1 was born and it took a couple of months adjustment but nothing too bad.Dd1 was a sicky baby[and is a sicky toddler] which was hard but would have been whether she was my first second or fifth..lol Cant have been bad as I had DD2 12mths later..lol

Quootiepie · 10/04/2007 12:03

Congratulations! The only advise I have I'm afraid is a friend has similar aged children and baths them together, one in a bath seat thingy (the baby). They entertain eachother all the time, doesn't seem that bad {{hugs}}

fryalot · 10/04/2007 12:05

Mine are 14 months apart, the elder one being 3 in June, and ds being 19 months. They play together, they gang up on me, they have fun. Dd1 was an only child for 10 years and it was a lot more difficult with her than it is with these two.

GooseyLoosey · 10/04/2007 12:05

There are 15 months between mine and initially, I was terrified at the thought of being left on my own with the 2 of them. It is a lot easier than you think (although undeniably hard).

I found that I worked child no 2 in around child no 1's routine at night for minimum disruption to no 1. During the day, things tended to revolve around no. 2's feeding for the first few months but no. 1 coped.

It helps to have things to distract no. 1 with for those times when you are stuck feeding no. 2 and cannot do a lot else. Maybe a special box of toys that only comes out when feeding or a special story book.

As quickly as possible, I had the 2 of them sharing a bath. Took a bit longer to get to the same bedtime, but used to pretend no. 2 went to bed at the same time as no. 1 to help get no. 1 to bed - would take them both upstairs and would then sneak back down with no. 2!

Good luck and, on the days when it seems hard, try and remember that there are many advantages to having 2 so close in age.

littlelapin · 10/04/2007 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzywuzzy · 10/04/2007 12:10

There's an 18 month gap between my two.

I thought it would be awful and I would be unable to cope, but my second is much more chilled than my first, or perhaps it's just that I don't get quite so het up about things as I did with pfb
With bath times, I stick them both in the tub together, when dd2 was newborn I'd take her in with me when I bathed, don't bother with bathing them both everyday, you could alternate days for both yours, when your youngest is able to sit up unaided stick them both in the tub together.

I used to send my eldest up to sleep first and then take my younger one to sleep when newborn, I send them both up to bed at the same time now they're older.

Original poster

firststeps · 10/04/2007 12:23

what were the hardest things you found about having 2 so close in age?

OP posts:

fuzzywuzzy · 10/04/2007 12:27

The pregnancy, I hated having to carry around dd1 when I was heavily pg with dd2, and also dd1 found my expanding stomach hilarious, and would often pat it - none too gently- whilst lauging hysterically, she also jumped on my stomach when I was having contractions....my god that really hurt. So actually learn from this and do not have ds in bed with you when you are in the begining stages of labour

Also once I had dd2 I enrolled dd1 in a nursery for three mornings a week, so I had peace and quiet to get stuff done whilst she was gone, maybe think about that for your ds when the time comes??? Dd1 loves nursery with all her little friends....

GooseyLoosey · 10/04/2007 13:21

Agree with FW - end of pregnancy was hard. Also not ever being able to leave ds in a room with dd alone as at 15 months he was liable to kill her without meaning to and going out when dd was about 18 months and ds not yet 3 and they would both start being naughty!

Plus sides are that at 2.5 and not quite 4, they are interested in doing similar things, they eat together and go to bed at the same time. They have the same local friends and above all they play together. All the hard bits are worth it to watch them rolling on the floor together laughing and telling each other how much they love each other!

TeeCee · 10/04/2007 13:28

Congratulations

It won't be a nightmare it'll be fab. It just all works out. It's normal to feel worried and concerned about how it'll all work, but believe me it will.

Sleep - You give the eldest a bottle of milk and snuggle him in your bed with the end of cbeebies or something while you go and put DC2 to sleep having already given him a feed.
(Even if that isn't how it works for you, you'll find something that WILL work)

Bathtime - bath them both together, or bath DS first and then let him stand over bath watching and helping while you bath DC2. And they don't have to have baths every night, esp when DC2 is little, the less you can get way with bathing him the better for his skin.

What else are you worried about?

My DD was 5 when DD2 was born and DD2 will be 21 months when DC3 is born. (DD1 has SN's) It's mad and crazy but wonderful and rewarding.

Original poster

firststeps · 10/04/2007 13:33

TeeCee, I'm worried that it's just starting to get much easier with DS - he can entertain himself (for a short time!), he sleeps pretty well unless he's teething or ill and can feed himself but it is still hard work with one and I am just a bit panicky about how I'm going to cope. We never wanted our lo to be an only child I just didn't expect to be pregnant this quickly. Also, we were planning to move to a bigger house before having our second (oops!) as we only have 2 bedrooms, and this is going to have to be put on hold, so both lo's will have to share once the baby moves out of our room - I just wonder how practical this will be. I am happy to be having another baby - suppose I just know how hard it is going to be having been through it all so recently!

OP posts:

TeeCee · 10/04/2007 14:01

firststeps - I PROMISE everything is going to be ok

The fact things with no 1 are just starting to get easier is great. My DD was 5 when DD2 was born but can't really do thigns for herself so I still have to do virtually everything for her. But it just all works out. I used to get DD2 ready for bed early, then just have her next to us while I got DD1 ready for bed and then breastfeed DD2 while I read DD1 a story. I have no idea how it'll all be when no 3 arrives but knowing how it all just worked out ok when DD2 was born I'm not worrying about it. It was hgard and sometimes I didn't know what I was doing or what to first but we all survived! Soemnights were more stressful than others but it really is such a short stage of everyone's lives, it' over before you know it!

We have a 3 bed house but we need to move to accomodate the new child and we are running out of room now so need more space asap when DC3 arrrives. However, no panic. DC3 will be in with me for first few months and if we still haven't moved he or she can either stay with me a bit longer por can bunk in with DD2 which will mean turfing DD1 out of her room. Might not go down too well but needs must and i'll try and make it as fun and adventure like as poss and just get on with it really!

a huge number of people either move or extend or decrate when they are expecting a baby, we do love to take on 100 things at once don't we!

skidaddle · 10/04/2007 14:54

Hi firststeps,

Don't worry - it will be fine. I am in a very similar position (dd will just over 2 when new baby is born in december) and I have also just found out I'm pg and we also live in a tiny 2bed house. But unlike you I actually planned this pregnancy because I wanted to have dcs fairly close in age.

Obviously I don't have the experience that other posters with 2+dcs have but I really am not worried and think it will be amamzing to see dd with her little sibling. I know it will be hard but I think it will be brilliantly hard IYKWIM. I don't think it will be a problem them sharing a room either plus it will hopefully be easier than last time because at least we know what to expect this time.

So don't worry, lots of people have done it before and loved it and I 'm sure we will too! And you've always got mn is things get a bit much...

Original poster

firststeps · 10/04/2007 15:04

Skidaddle, our new baby is due december as well - the 12th by my reckoning. Thanks for the advice, think I am worrying a bit too soon - I just remember how hard it was at first with DS and am panicking at the thought of this plus a toddler just entering the terrible twos!!! You are right though about the small age gap - I always wanted more than one and for them to be close - think I am still in shock tbh!

OP posts:

mrsjohnsimnelcake · 10/04/2007 15:09

dunno how you do it TBH, and ds1 is 3.5yrs and ds2 is 1.5yrs

when i am out with dh and the boys i often say "how do i do this when i am on my own?"
i ahve no idea
but you do !

skidaddle · 10/04/2007 15:27

firststeps - mine is due the 12th as well!!

I have plans about getting dd a doll and having her feed/change/put the new baby to sleep at the same time as me so that she won't feel excluded. There is also a book that was recommended on here called something like 'There is a house in mummy's tummy' have probably got that completely wrong but I'm sure someone will correct me.

I have seen lots of examples of siblings who adore each other and mothers coping brilliantly to inspire me that all will be well. But just wait till december - you will probably be coping swimmingly while I wail into my pile of nappies, wondering how on earth I thought this would be Ok!

MrsFish · 10/04/2007 15:40

Hi there firststeps, my ds will be 2:4 when the next one arrives in October, I am also apprehensive about it, but hey, we are women we can cope with anything, its a case of having too

DimpledThighs · 10/04/2007 15:49

hooray hooray for you!

Congrats!

Don't worry about putting them to bed yet - you will find your feet in your own sweet time sugar.

It is not a nightmare, far from it - hard work but well worth it.

Hooray for you!

Sumsey · 10/04/2007 15:50

hello Firststeps
i expecting my 2nd baby on 13th may and have had similar concerns as yours as my DS is 2...especially as my DH has started a new job which means that he is going to be working mon - fri, 9-5. last time he worked shifts and we were able to take turns (eating, sleeping) I not sure how DS will take new arrival as he has entered the "NO" stage of life

Original poster

firststeps · 10/04/2007 17:29

Thanks for all the advice, starting to feel a bit calmer now

OP posts:

tinkerbellhadpiles · 10/04/2007 17:36

Very jealous but congratulations anyway. My biggest fear is that second time around I'll have twins . But thinking this has made me rationalise that two can't be too bad.....

can it?

fifisworld · 10/04/2007 17:44

hello Firststeps

I found out yesterday im pg with #2 and my ds will be almost 2. Im a bit worried about how i'll cope but id be like that no matter how big the gap was between them.
Im sure it will be fine and you'll just adapt to it like you did with your first one.

Dont worry we'll support each other we're both in the same boat

Scootergirl · 10/04/2007 17:47

My bedtime tip from dealing with DD and DS (2 year gap, DH in Afghanistan!) would be bath them together then we all used to snuggle up in mummy and daddy's bed (big treat!) and watch a bit of Lady and the Tramp (obviously, it doesn't HAVE to be Lady and The Tramp while I fed DS then I'd put him down and take DD through for her stories and milk. You can do it - first year tiring but great fun!

Loopymumsy · 10/04/2007 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Flip

1 2