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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

worried what mw will say/think/do :'(

16 replies

micropreemiemum · 28/09/2017 13:31

hiya ladies, so i am almost 15 weeks with #2. Had my booking in appt a few weeks ago and 2 scans already (first one was a bit early for tests), all good :)... only thing is i completely forgot to mention something at my booking in appt and now i am worried she will think i am hiding things from her and i am getting myself all worked up. i have my next mw appt tomorrow but am just looking for any advice/reassurance/anything!
Basically last summer i was called into the doctors for a new patient appt where they said i would be weighed, bp measured blahblah. i went in with my OH and son, the appt was literally 2 minutes. The doctor just said 'well is there anything wrong with you?' i said no the only niggles i get are headaches, cold all the time and spots but i can live with that haha, He then goes really sternly 'well how old is your child?' ....'2 byt he was born 17 weeks early so is a bit behind' ... as soon as he heard my son was prem he asked questions like a quickfire round 'sleeping...eating...mood...etc' i said i have a toddler so sleep as well as you can lol, eat loads (to which he replies 'thats unusual, most people lose their appetite. ????what?'...he said 'you probably have mild depression, take these tablets and see me in a month. i argued and said no ive seen depression as my mum has battled with it and bipolar for my whole life... he said oh so family connection and premature baby and big move across the country...take them and come back, you will only need them for a month.
we left and were so confused, i didnt take the tablets or go back obviously as i 100% did not have depression. if i did then i would have grabbed help with both hands as ive seen the damage it can do. But in my booking in appt i ticked no treatment for depression...now im worried she will think i lied to her and will be even more concernced...what do i do? sorry for the ramble...hope it makes sense

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Believeitornot · 28/09/2017 13:32

Just explain it as you've done here.

They're there to help you!

SleepingStandingUp · 28/09/2017 13:36

You havnt lhavntyou dint take them. Just explain that you just remembered it and its been playing on your mind. She really wont think yore hiding things. I wouldn't even mention it but ots making you anxious so talk to her

OhTheRoses · 28/09/2017 13:41

You have had no treatment. You were given AD's and didn't take them. Explain the apt and that you disagreed with the Dr and didn't feel listened to and that you aren't depressed.

Feeling cold, eating well, feeling tired and under par and a preemie baby point towards a full blood screening being required before jumping to conclusions.

If the midwife is Good, local and experienced she will know who the best GPs are. I would suggest you go back to another Dr in the practice and ask for this and also ask them to note and confirm that you do not feel depressed, did not want and did not take the medication.

Good luck for your pg and future

Original poster

micropreemiemum · 28/09/2017 14:01

thank you for the replies, i am sure i am getting myself worked up over nothing but i just dont like what happened. i have been sent to see the doctor twice since then by the nurse about lumps on my sons neck and he refused to examine or even look away from his computer. first time he just said virus...so we left. second time he said 'i told you it was a virus so you dont need to come back.'

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boloriabullet · 28/09/2017 14:26

I'm a midwife, and I promise you, you have nothing to worry about xxx

Original poster

micropreemiemum · 28/09/2017 14:32

oh thank you! i have spoken to a few mw and nurse friends who said the same so it is very helpful...i look very young and find people often treat me horrendously so i tend to worry what everyone thinks of me when i dont need toxxx

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Bisquick · 28/09/2017 14:36

It does sound like you need a new GP though since by your account this one sounds extremely unprofessional.

MWs have seen and heard much much stranger things so I wouldn't be worried on that accord. Telling her will help her help you best.

Original poster

micropreemiemum · 28/09/2017 14:41

thank you , yes i do need a new gp. At my surgery each gp has their own receptionist and you are only allowed to speak to that one. i tried to get my son to see someone else but they wouldnt let me. i think i will have to write a letter to the practise manager as i refuse to see him again. I think it is so important to have a good relationship with your gp but unfortunately this one isnt right for my family

OP posts:

OhTheRoses · 28/09/2017 15:36

Is your GP Doc Martin?

Original poster

micropreemiemum · 28/09/2017 16:04

i dont know what you mean as ive never seen it... but hes just not for me, he may be a good doctor and ive just seen him on 3 bad days but i dont know :/

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KarateKitten · 28/09/2017 16:10

You've nothing to worry about. Why are you so concerned about what your midwife thinks? Think about it. She needs to know so she can keep an extra eye on you being depressed. If you weren't depressed and are confident in reaching out if you are, then it's a total and utter non-issue. And not everything is the business of the midwives to be honest. They are there to help you and your baby through the antenatal and pistnatal period. So it's good to be honest with them but they don't own you or get to decide what you put down on their forms! That's for you to decide.

wellbanana · 28/09/2017 16:16

As the other posters said, you never received treatment for depression. You never had it clinically 'diagnosed' by a professional (your GP clearly does not understand). I'm glad you felt confident enough to not follow the GP advice, lots of people wouldn't in your position! It sounds like they did not listen to what you were saying at all. And really pushing antidepressants without the clinical expertise when there is a family history of bipolar experiences is not a good idea!

Original poster

micropreemiemum · 28/09/2017 16:17

thank you, i know im being silly but its hard when ive seen my mum like that and dont want to be tarred under the same brush when i barely even know her! i understand things can be genetic but none of her depression is to do with pregnancy etc...im just a worrier haha

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ChocolatePancake · 28/09/2017 17:29

'Tarred with the same brush' is a little harsh. Depression is something people can't help happening to them, it's not something to be looked down on. That aside, I don't think you have anything to worry about with your midwife. I had a doctor that treated me the same way when I was younger

Lemondrop99 · 28/09/2017 18:10

It'll be fine. Midwives only want to know about depression so they can ensure there's support there if you need it, not to judge or criticise you. Best to disclose but I imagine she'll just make a note of it and that'll be the last your hear about it. Don't worry.

Original poster

micropreemiemum · 28/09/2017 18:39

i dont mean it in a harsh way at all, i completely understand that it is something that can not be helped and is an illness, i am honestly sorry if i caused offence... its just hard when people assume things when they dont know you. But thank you guys, i appreciate all the advice.

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