Might be a bit drip feeding as I don't want to give myself away.
I'm pregnant, about half way. This is my second child. Things aren't as good this time as they were the first time (with my life in general) well. I mean, I'm in a better financial situation, obviously have the experience of having my first etc. This time I'm on my own though. Single mother of two was never a title I aspired to hold.
With my first I had bought practically everything by this point, couldn't wait for her arrival. It may just be a second time round thing but I've got nothing whatsoever this time, if anything want to put off the baby being here for as long as possible, I just don't feel connected to it like I did with my first.
I worry this one will come along and ruin everything, my one on one relationship with my daughter, my sanity, my ability to work, my independence (family are all telling me how they'll be extra hands on to be a part of it so I can cope with 2)
I don't know how I feel. At the time I couldn't bring myself to do it and I'm sure if I could go back in time I STILL wouldnt but a little niggle at the back of my mind tells me I wouldn't be worrying like I am now if I just terminated when I could. I was just so adamant that "I couldn't do that" "I won't do that" that I didn't actually think about what NOT doing it would entail. Ex was so adamant I should do it (why we're not together) that I felt the need to fight mine and baby's corner and disagree with him that I intern made a massive decision without a lot of thought