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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Fed up....

12 replies

MrsCR2016 · 27/09/2017 16:20

Hi,

Need a place to vent. 16 weeks pregnant and feel like I'm having to do EVERYTHING!! Yes my husband works full time and I understand that some days he can be tired but I can't do everything all the time!! Is it really too much to ask for that I have a little help round the house. Every time I say something I'm 'moaning'!

It can't just be me that feels/has felt like this, but men don't seem to understand.

Thanks

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Alexandra07 · 27/09/2017 23:01

Try not to say anything and just don't do the things that are too much for you!

SomehowSomewhere1 · 28/09/2017 02:02

But then they don't get done . . .

Ditto here!

Oldschool41 · 28/09/2017 07:21

I lived with someone like that for a while, although I worked full time and he sat doing nothing... needless to say I told him to leave 😀

natalielawry1 · 28/09/2017 08:05

Don’t worry mines the same

leighdinglady · 28/09/2017 08:13

Go on strike. Clean up your own mess, make your own food and wash just your clothes. He can do his own and soon appreciate how much you do. Lazy sod. I hate how men don't listen or say 'I'll do it later' and then when you are forced to ask again you're 'nagging' We wouldn't have to nag if they weren't overgrown teenagers! Raaaar!

29 weeks pregnant here

londonloves · 28/09/2017 08:22

When the baby comes you will be working more than full time too (assuming you're part time now?) so I think you do need to try and talk about it - how things are now, and how they will be when the baby comes. You shouldn't be having to think about housework with a newborn!

Original poster

MrsCR2016 · 28/09/2017 08:29

I do work part time at the moment but I can still be tired too!! He does have a stressful job but I manage people and a shop too.

Every time you try to talk you are ‘nagging’

He does do some stuff that I can’t but it seems that we both come home from work (he does an early shift then goes to bed) that I then have to tidy and wash up and cook.

I think it’s because he’s never been pushed to do anything. And now I need a little help.

Men

Thank you all for listening

OP posts:

Lemondrop99 · 28/09/2017 10:40

I agree that little bit of strike action might help change his perspective.

I've been very ill with HG in this pregnancy, and my DH has had to do a lot. In the first trimester, I was basically bed bound and he had to run the house, care for me. Honestly, he was very good, can't complain.

However he is a bit messy. Puts stuff down and never moves it. Never thinks to refill the toilet roll holder or to wipe the kitchen worktops down properly after cooking. All these things used to get magically done every evening by a house elf or something....

After I'd been in bed for a few weeks, and the house elf disappeared, he turned around and said to me "the house is a right mess downstairs. Since you've been stuck in bed, I've suddenly realised how much stuff you do". That was a very satisfying moment, even if it took extreme circumstances to cause that revelation!

I bet your partner a) doesn't have any concept of how tiring being pregnant is and b) doesn't really realise how much you do. Definitely a little strike is in order!

Lemondrop99 · 28/09/2017 10:46

Also, you need to get this sorted before the baby arrives.

I'll be home on maternity leave and he'll be at work. I appreciate he'll be tired and will probably take on the bulk of the home stuff and night feeds during the week to help with that. However, I've already explained to him that I cannot possibly care for a newborn, do all the housework and cooking and all the night feeds. That would essentially be 24 hour round the clock working, 7 days a week! He might be tired after 8/9 hours at work, but I'll be tired too and cannot possibly be responsible for the baby and house 24/7 - which is far beyond any work hours he's doing! I don't think my partner would leave it all to me, but I felt the need to point this out in advance, just so he realises how long and relentless a day at home with a baby can be.

So your partner better get used to being tired after work and still having to pull his weight around the house as you'll need his input more and more as your pregnancy progresses and when baby arrives.

ChocolatePancake · 28/09/2017 11:43

My ex was the same. Luckily now I'm with somebody the polar opposite... but with my ex there was never any winning. I just cut myself off from him and did the things I could cope with and left the unimportant things for days I felt I could do them. The house wasn't spotless (understatement) for awhile but if anybody came over I'd just say it's difficult to do it on my own in this state

Dustywillow · 28/09/2017 13:34

My partner is the same drives me up the wall!
Yes I understand he works 7/6 5days a week but at the weekend he does nothing to help and by the Monday my house is a riot and I work too. And 14 weeks pregnant with sickness and exhaustion isn't helping!

Original poster

MrsCR2016 · 29/09/2017 12:36

Thank you for all your support! Think the nagging has helped a little.

Even people at work have started to say something to him about being at work too many hour. As yesterday he did a 16.5 hour shift. So when he rang for support off a colleague he asked why he was there when I was at home alone and pregnant!!

Think a rant was just needed!!

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