Insensitive things people say

[isshoes]

I turned 12 weeks today and am very happy about it, though won’t have my dating scan until early next week. I told a colleague today, who is an eternal pessimist, and he said ‘oh so you’ve got about a month until you know it’s secure’. I told him that no, as I’m near the end of the first trimester I was feeling a bit more confident, and he said ‘well I don’t want to worry you but about 30% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. But once you’re four months you can relax a bit’.

I know logically what he says is not accurate based on the vast majority of literature on the subject of pregnancy and loss, but it still sucks.

Mansplaining is my favourite part of pregnancy.
The boys at work keep telling me helpful facts about morning sickness as I sit dying at my desk

Ugh my exDH has 2 DDs previously. When I was pregnant with my first the amount of people who said "oh I bet he'd love a boy". FUCK OFF. Maybe I'd like a girl??!!

I didn't mind, nor did he but even so....

We have a large age gap between our youngest DC who will be 8 by the time DC#3 is born. I have lost count of the number of people (virtual strangers!) who have asked me if it was an accident!! SO rude & and I want to sod off!!!

I went for coffee with an acquaintance who decided to tell me about her friend who recently had a baby and had found out at a few months old that the baby had a terminal illness. She then went on to say that, out of her friend's NCT class - one baby was terminally ill (her friend's baby), one had a stillbirth and one was Charlie Gard I mean, who thinks that's a fun conversation for a pregnant woman?!

A friend of mine was pregnant with twins and some random woman in the park decided to comment on the increased risks of multiples

On the OP's situation, statistically 95% of pregnancies are successful after a heartbeat is seen at 7/8 weeks. Yes, sad things can and do happen to older babies, but the odds are massively in your favour that things will be fine at your stage. Might as well think positive and enjoy your pregnancy.

That is very different granny

Thanks for the positive comments all, and sorry to those of you who have had to put up with similarly insensitive comments, especially in the face of tragic events. For me personally, having spent the first trimester worrying terribly and almost assuming the worst, I’ve decided that once I’ve had my scan I shall proceed with much more optimism. Otherwise I’ll just be miserable til April.

Best wishes to all of you with your own journies.

Wow what a dick!

Much less thoughtless really but after my initial GP appointment I was really excited and as I walked out she said "I hope it works out". It just didn't need to be said and totally took the wind out of my sails.

When I was pregnant with my twins, FOUR DIFFERENT PEOPLE thought it would be kind to tell me that "they knew of someone who'd been pregnant with twins but one of them died(!)"
What possesses these people???

"Have you got something to tell us?" By a colleague when I was 11 weeks pregnant and very bloated after IVF. I said, "no I don't" and she said "oh yes you do I can't clearly see it" and poked my belly.
Am 7 months now and my sister came to see me last weekend and proceeded to tell me I had swollen up all over and was waaay bigger than with my first.
I have put on 6kg which is apparently total normal but I felt horrible like a big bloated walrus

"You do realise you've ruined your life don't you??" By a colleague I barely knew. Fair enough I was only a couple of months of 20 when I fell pregnant but still not his (or anyone's!!) place to say this. Fwiw I'm now 26 and have not long had my second and couldn't be happier.

nevermind insensitive, it was total nonsense and chronic mansplaining. he is an idiot who overstates his own intelligence and knowledge.

Good God. I'd tell him a) not to mansplaine pregnancy to a pregnant woman and b) to go back to his insensitive cave and stay there. How is that helpful? Honest to Goodness!!!!

Please OP, ignore idiots like this and make a point of telling them that they need to zip it next time. These people need educating!!!

@Mum2oneds I suspect a quick call to HR would shut her up. That is actually illegal for your manager to make comments like that to you- you're fully entitled to any medical time off that you need during your pregnancy..... xx

To sum it up.

People are thick as shit and need to think before opening their cake holes.