She knows of my mental health history but it's mostly recorded as depression. It wasn't until I had therapy (for chronic physical illness) that I realised it's actually anxiety that is the main problem. Since then I was diagnosed with Aspergers too so I now have much greater understanding of why I always struggled, and it also made me realise why regular antidepressants never really worked.
So I'm now 33 weeks and I am panicking about managing the birth with the health issues (didn't have them when I had my other DCs in 2007/2009), struggling to adjust to a total change of diet (diagnosed with GD) and in particular the lack of consistency in the advice I've been given about it, totally freaking out about other health issues that I am possibly imagining, and to top it all off getting seriously paranoid socially. We also have a house move at some point (council due to medical needs, so no control over when really) and absolutely loads of stuff to sort out for that and pay for. I am constantly close to tears and feel panicky all the time.
Logically I know it's hormones - I really struggle with this (also really sensitive to the post birth dip, I was always the one sobbing on the post labour ward) and the fact that huge changes are coming (difficult for everyone but for an autistic person, it's like turning the world upside down).
I don't even really know why I'm posting think I just need a hug but I am not sure if I should be bothering my MW with this. I'm not due any appts as I'm consultant led. But won't they just want me back on ADs? Sertraline is safe I know and the only one which ever made a tiny bit of an impact, but it doesn't change the way my brain works (i.e. the ASD) and that's why I still struggle on it. I'm freaking out at the idea of the side effects which are really awful. I will not hesitate to go back on them once baby arrives (7 weeks tops) and I did that happily after both births, but the thought of being on them now just feels too much, especially when I get so spaced out on them that I can't get anything done that I need to in the next seven weeks. Can't take beta blockers either BTW due to one of my conditions.
I think they should know how anxious I am though. On my other thread people said they should be aware, everyone keeps saying the birth will be fine because I've done it before so they won't expect me to be panicking. I also want to make sure they know I'm autistic I think.
Sorry I'm waffling because it's distracting me from trying not to cry for no apparent reason. Like I said I'm not sure why I am posting. But I don't know if I should go see the MW when she can't really do anything beyond ADs?!