Double barrel surname. Any experiences??

[Jellybabie3]

Me and DH have not been married long. I decided not to take his surname as i am quite attached to mine! MIL was instantly keen to know babys surname (i am 40+1) and me and Dh had kind of agreed (not telling her yet) that we would double barrel. Everyone thats asked about DS surname has made comments like 'you wouldnt do d-barrel....its difficult/wordy/awkward' etc so now at the 11th hour i am having a wobble. Does it really make a difference?? My name is quite 'English' DHs is not so it will be a little mouthful esp after a middle name like Clarke-Bronslik (i totally made that up so i hope it doesnt mean something rude) i also am conscious that puts my surname first....urgh family politics!!

For those with DC's. If you didn't double barrel or hyphenated, how did you decide whose surname the DC's should have? What made you decide one way or another.

Amongst my friends and family, the wife has kept her surname when they got married and the DC's surname is either double barreled or hyphenated.

lighthearted

In French fancy rat breeding circles (oddly specific I know) I hear the rats have 'rattery names' which work like surnames. Female rats pass on their maternal line name and male rats pass on their paternal line name.

This is how I see the prevention of quadruple barrels happening :)

DH is db-ed already- his mum and dad both kept their names. When we got married there I kept my name and so many people asked me if I’d thought about going triple barrelled. With things like ordering pizza or whatever he often drops the last name (which is actually his DF’s and the simpler, “nicer” name imho) for ease, but he is very protective of it. So much so that he’s insistent that our yet-to-be-conceived children will have to inherit it. All of it. I’m leaving it lie for now and he can try that again when I’ve just pushed out or had a DC lifted out of me.

TheCraic
Hmm, so he insisting they have both his surnames - and yours as well, or does he expect to pass on both while you don't pass on yours at all?!
Don't suppose you could merge his two surnames by any chance? (So the DC has one from each of you)

Yeah, that is precisely what he's after- apparently "they're both [his] name", so he couldn't possibly choose just one. Also there's "loads" of my name (there isn't) and he and his DBro are the only two in the world of his, therefore it must be preserved. I've obviously pointed out that the way things are changing he'd probably only be keeping it going for one more generation. I think a lot of it is to do with the fact he doesn't want to be seen to be favouring one parent over the other IYSWIM. His DF's name is simpler, but he's very close to his DM.

He's usually a very reasonable man which is why I'm hopeful he'll eventually come round if/when I produce said baby.

Well, if he can't possibly choose one name, or merge them together somehow, then you can just give the DC your name - problem solved

Men are such idiots sometimes. He can't possibly choose between his parents but he wants his own children to have his own name but not their mother's. The hypocrisy! Neither of his parents are going to be birthing this child are they?!

(Sorry about the rant... can you tell this is a subject that really bothers me?!)

DH made various silly objections to giving DS my surname as well as his. I told him it was non negotiable. He grudgingly accepted it! And the first name was truly a joint decision.

My family have been double barreled since 1900.

Sometimes it doesn't fit on paperwork. We have all had nicknames (all very similar and not abusive).

Apart from that to me thats my name I don't hate it. It does make you very identifiable though. As there are not many same double barrels out there if that makes sense.

We gave DD my surname, not exP's. it seems people generally give fathers name, or double barrel both, but not just the mothers name. Not for me, my exP didn't want to double barrel, so it was my name! I was prepared to double barrel but not give just his name.

"Traditionally" the children of unmarried parents were always given the mother's surname. If you care about tradition!

When there’s different surnames don’t they have the baby labelled as Baby-Mums-Name in hospital?

So it’ll be Baby Craic and I’ll be like “i think it suits him/her ¯\(ツ)/¯ “

Yeah I said that a few posts ago. Baby is given mum's surname in hospital.

When there’s different surnames don’t they have the baby labelled as Baby-Mums-Name in hospital?

Hospitals don't even ask what the baby's surname will be or whether the parents have different surnames. The baby is always known as Baby Mother's Surname.

Craic, has anyone asked him if he has considered going triple barrelled?

I note PPs who say they went double barrelled with their DH name but the DH just keeps his own original name. Celebrities seem to do this. Why? I wouldn't adopt a man's name as an addition unless he did the same, so we both had the same name!

If anyone thinks 'it's just a name' you only have to look at men's resistance to changing theirs to know that it isn't true.

DS has my surname+DH surname, no hyphen.

Neither of our surnames are British or from the country we live in, so they both stick out somewhat

I didn't change my name on marrying DH, why should I? He didn't offer to change his - and it is a rather comical one! There was no way i was going to be a near equivalent of Mrs Kuntz.

Hello, when we married we hyphenated. So both surnames for each of us and now DD is here she has a double barrelled surname too. Never experienced any problems at all. (Apart from DH granny who refuses to accept it and always adresses all birthday cards to everyone with DH original Pre marital surname. But she is 87 and when I am feeling generous I assume she didn't hear/understand etc and for the sake of 3 birthday card envelopes a year it's not worth making an issue about ).

Double barrelled surnames are for toffs and Ponce's! Why have one common surname when you can have two surnames! Just makes your name so much more important. Why not add letters after your name for extra narcissistic quality!

Double barrelled surnames are for toffs and Ponce's! Why have one common surname when you can have two surnames! Just makes your name so much more important. Why not add letters after your name for extra narcissistic quality!

I'd rather be a toff or a ponce than someone that trolls Mumsnet at 1am digging up old threads!