Terrified of childbirth - but it's my third baby!

[Cagliostro]

It's ridiculous really. But it's only 8 weeks away tops (will be induced on due date at latest, due to GD) and I am so scared!

My other births were pretty uneventful really - no forceps etc, no birth injury. DC2 was nearly 12lb (undiagnosed GD) and it was a lot easier/quicker.

But I've built it up in my head and also DC2 just turned 8 so it feels forever ago. Coupled with the fact that this baby, unlike the other two, was unplanned! We are happy and excited, TBH it was always a "we probably shouldn't have another" rather than not WANTING another, but also I am still struggling with even imagining another little person after being just us four for so long.

Induction is fine and in a way better because my other two were induced (DC1 for oligohydramnios, DC2 as overdue) and it's more predictable (I have Aspergers). It is also great as no car (even my parents who will come and stay when needed don't drive anymore) so I can plan better and not have to rush to hospital etc and I know my body should in theory respond well to the kick start as it did quickly with DC2.

I have had problems with chronic illness since DC2, and I don't feel strong or fit enough for this at all. Not that I was especially fit before TBH and I am making more effort to walk further etc. But I am now in the horrifically tired phase, and can't manage as much as I want to.

HCPs keep saying don't worry, your body remembers etc. But I just want to throw a big strop and shout BUT I CAN'T DO IT :(

Sorry for waffling, I'm just getting more and more scared as the weeks tick by.

Hello, sorry to hear you are worried. For what it's worth, me too and I'm on my third too! Also unplanned.
I've been referred to a consultant midwife to take through previous births and she has been focusing on a different experience for me this time round ( ie more natural hopefully as was induced and monitored through the others) but when she asked what would help I just cried and said I don't want to do it! Totally get where you are coming from but it did help me to talk it through with her and the fact I am anxious due to previous stuff is now flagged in my notes and a few recommendations for support on the day/s of labour . Going through what was hard last times was good too and I do feel a bit less panicked so I'd recommend it if you have a similar service at your hospital.

On a positive not with DC3 & 4 I didn't do any pushing, my body did it!

Keep being open with the MW about how you're feeling.

Dc4 (happy accident) csection (4th section) booked, 4 weeks on Monday and I just burst into tears at the thought of it.
I don't know if it's worse because with the other 3 there was the hope of a natural birth but this one I've been told it's too dangerous but I'm frightened.
I literally said to DH this is my 4th go round it should be a walk in the park, good to know I'm not the only one. I hope you feel better soon x

Dc3 is now 3 months. But I felt very scared about the labour despite 2 healthy straightforward previous deliveries. Also unplanned, Dc2 7 yrs old and I'm well into my 40s now which put me high risk. But when labour started it was all so familiar, I felt confident and my body totally knew what to do. Best delivery yet! Wish I could say same for the baby's sleep...! Best of luck.

I'm due baby No 2 in 2 and a half weeks and keep having a panic every evening at the thought my parents need to travel 30 mins to collect my son. My 1st birth was induced due to waters breaking and to be honest has emotionally scared me for life. I had everything bar a section over 48 hours. My fear now is I know I hated the drugs i was given including gas and air they made me so sick and faraway. So literally feel my only option is an epidural if it gets too much. I'm over thinking everything what if it goes toò fast and childcare isn't sorted in time. Or I go too quick for pain relief. My first big no no was to be induced but now I think I would feel more organised or in control. Anyway after months of fear I have woke up today and thought.... No I can do this and trying to be positive. I hope this happens similar for you. Someone told me to tell myself... you will own this labour. Good luck xxx

In same position! Youngest is 5 and his birth was a bit traumatic resulting in ptsd. This time they've offered me an apt with a senior midwife to talk through the last births and prepare. Would something like that be on offer?

No help here really other than the offer of huge sympathy and . I was far more anxious about DC2 and by DC3 I was just a wreck.

But remember we are designed to do this! You'll be alright on the night.
Do talk with the MW and get support.

OP I can totally understand your worry

I felt exactly the same on dc3, I’d had 2 previous normal deliveries with no intervention, but I just felt that I couldn’t deliver dc3

Sorry I don’t have a happy ending, it was hideous from the off and I still live with the effects of that birth physically and psychologically even though he’s now almost 8
God I adore him with all my heart but if he’d been my first I wouldn’t have had anymore

I wish you lots of luck xx

I feel the exact same, 3rd baby due in 2 weeks. I cry pretty much every night, I’m terrified.

I’m not exactly sure why I am feeling like this as both labours we’re pretty quick, straightforward. They were intense with constant contractions but nothing major.

I have really bad spd and terrified that will make labour worse, my babies have jumped from 8lbs 3 to 9lbs 5 so the fear of delivering bigger is freakin’ me out.

Can you ask for csection?

Thank you so much everyone. It does help to know I'm not alone although I am sorry others are feeling/have felt this way too.

When I talk about it IRL people just don't get it! Because I've done it before and, thankfully, have no trauma from it, nothing more than stitches needed. First labour was long and I was close to needing EMCS but she was born 4 minutes before the deadline.

I haven't got any appts with my MW booked as I am under consultant for everything now due to GD, would it be frowned upon to book one just for this? I do have a history of depression/anxiety/PND (although a lot of this I now realise is due to undiagnosed Aspergers and the difficulties I had due to that). I have spoken at length about that and do feel safer this time because unlike 8 years ago I have lots of really supportive friends and a busy social life with other families etc. But the anxiety is ramping up about the birth and I don't even know if medicating would help and they make me feel so ill and spacey.

I did ask about CS when I first saw my MW because I was worried about physically managing the birth due to the illnesses. But she was of the view that my body can do it, and that a CS would probably be more of a risk due to the recovery etc. I know that makes total sense and CS is in no way an easy route! But if they offered it now I would say yes just because I am so scared.

I really hope it's just because it's so long since the last time. And it'll all kick in once it gets started. I hope.

Op I would definitely ask for a chat with the midwife about this as she may be able to refer you to see the consultant midwife or similar service.
I've had similar reactions about having the extra support but I was on anti depressants before the pregnancy and people were surprised by that too. I think because I come across as fine it's a surprise but I feel that at help offered I will take and I do feel better for it as it's something I'm doing something about.