Hi,
You are 100% doing the right thing by asking for a c section. Here's why. I have herpes - got if from my husband actually who has had it for over 20 years. It's nothing to be embarrassed about at all - many people have it with no symptoms and don't even know (10% of the adult population)
When we were pregnant with our first baby (and naive) I had an outbreak at 40 weeks on my due date. I hadn't had a single outbreak during pregnancy before this point. I called antenatal who sounded worried - a doctor was supposed to give me antivirals from 36 weeks pregnant but I was suffering extreme morning sickness and it got overlooked. Like you when I started to read up in detail about it I was gripped with utter fear. After all it CAN be life threatening for baby and can cause blindness and other awful things. I didn't care what the % risk was, it was still a risk in my head. My husband works away lots - he was away on my due date so I had to rush over to antenatal for an emergency appointment with my consultant on my own.Long story short I was in such a state they agreed to a c section. As others have said they can't refuse you one by law in the UK. I was also given antivirals immediately. They took it very seriously. I had the c section two days later. I spent those 2 days literally praying my body would not go into labour (which given my highly anxious state would most likely have been a dreadful labour - who wants to push a baby out when thinking they could be pushing that baby through a birth canal that could harm them??) .The c section was lovely. I had no trouble bonding, no trouble breast feeding. Because I'd had an outbreak so close to my c section they swabbed baby in 5 places when baby was born.
Unbelievably when our baby was 7 days old we got a call late one night at home from our local GP to say that one swab had tested positive for herpes and to put our baby in the car immediately and drive to the hospital where a team of paediatricians were waiting for her. I don't even want to explain how we felt at that moment. No one was being blasé about herpes then - in fact everyone was sounding worryingly tense.
Our baby went through hell for 14 days - she had needles and cannulas inserted into the veins in her head in order to get antivirals into her through an IV. Her veins collapsed all of the time so at 16 days old she had to go into theatre for a central line to be put in her leg. They also did a spinal tap which was traumatic. They were forced to treat her even though more thorough test results were not back yet just in case she did indeed have it because the ramifications of it are so grave. It ended up that they THINK it was a random false positive. Baby never had the herpes it was possibly fluid from my body which got on the swab. But let me tell you this - when paediatricians THOUGHT she might have neonatal herpes they did not hang about and the situation was extremely frightening. It's not something to be blasé about. We spent 14 days in hospital praying and praying ever second that results would come back negative. It takes a long time for them to be able to confirm this and it's nerve wracking. We were lucky in the end and she's absolutely fine and never had it. BUT it taught me a lesson very quickly which is that if your gut tells you to do anything at all to protect your baby you do it.
Also after they have failed to give me antivirals at 36 weeks pregnant my consultant actually sent an email to the entire department explaining what had happened to us and why it was VITAL that medication was given to women with herpes at 36 weeks.
When we were expecting our second baby I simply told them I would be having a c section and I made them give me the prescription for the antivirals immediately so that I was always prepared. Midwives etc will try to tell you it's not really necessary but they are not the paediatric team and they are not faced with the trauma of what can happen when the odds don't fall in your favour.
You are doing the right thing 100% by having a c section for this. The relief I felt on that table was something else. In some countries it's standard practice for herpes. Baby WILL have antibodies from you because you have had the herpes before you fell pregnant. Don't even worry about feeling guilty - it's not even worth the risk at all. Ask them to lower the screen during the section if you want (we even got to film her coming out) and you can have baby put on your skin immediately in the theatre whilst they stitch you back up. It will all be fine. Feel free to PM me if you need to.
Also I was totally open with everyone about why we were having a c section - people are not as judgemental as you may think and actually it was lovely to have everyone's support.