Baby gift problems

[Dollyollie]

Me and DP are expecting our first child in January of next year. It is my parents first grandchild and grand parents first great grandchild, DP dm has 4 grandchildren already but is no less excited about this one.

Both sides of the family are naturally very excited. My dm from the beginning said she wanted to buy the pram and my gran the car seat that goes from birth to age 4 both of these gifts will be our Christmas presents as well as baby gifts which were very grateful for. My parents are divorced and my DF has offered to buy the cot and paint a chest of draws for us, this means that most of the big stuff has been taken care of.

Now this is where some problems have arisen. My partner asked what she could get for us and I asked for the cot bedding as we will need it. DP has now told me mil is upset as my family are making the big purchases and she feels cheap getting us the cot bedding. I've gone back to the drawing board and thought of some other things she could purchase as well if she feels like she wants to spend more. I've never expected anyone to buy anything for us and we're really grateful as everyone is saving us so much but it not about the money to me. It's the thought that counts. I don't think it helps that we're not very close or that my DP hasn't passed on the messages about what else we would like for the baby.

I know DP worries a lot about his dm as she's on her own and doesn't want her to worry about money and such so I took that into account. I don't want to offend her and there are other things we will need but just because they're not as big doesn't mean they won't be greatly appreciated and very much needed. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place as she's already upset which was never my intention.

What about a co-sleeper cot? They're quite expensive and very useful as can double as travel for etc. Or s changing unit? Lots say they can do without but I used mine constantly until my son was 3 and I'll be getting a new one with this baby

You MIL sounds very nice, btw.

One of the really nice travel cots like the baby bjorn one?

What about your moses basket or where you're having baby sleep at first? I know a lot of people have the beds what attach to the there beds now

Nappies and wipes, either type and can be an expensive buy when totalled up!

She is lovely and I feel horrible I've offended her as that was never my intention... I do like the Moses basket idea we haven't got one. I might also mention that she could assist with childcare when I go back to work, my mother works full time and my gran says she won't be able to keep up with a little one

Baby Bjorn bouncer or the Stoke Tripp Trap high chair?

Moses baskets are useful in the first few weeks. It'll more than likely be in the living room so all your visitors will see baby in it. They're normally not too expensive if you're sensible when picking one, so it would possibly be affordable for her and also make an impact.

Although you won't really need it until 6 months I'd go a nice high chair like trip trap... You could even get the we born set to compromise more .... Baby will get more use of it in long run...ds still uses his as his seat at 5 ( without harness etc)
www.stokke.com/GBR/en-gb/configurator?cid=tripp-trapp#!?cid=tripp-trapp

John Lewis do beautiful Moses basket - really quite expensive but fantastic quality. A relative was kind enough to buy one for us and we were so grateful because we could never have afforded it.

What about a baby carrier/ sling, they can be invaluable if baby doesn't want to be put down. I would recommend a close caboo.

Cot bedding is a bit naff really because you don't need cot bedding! You need a sheet and that's it!

What type of mattress are you getting for the cot?

A co-sleeper is very useful.

A stokke highchair

Baby Bjorn bouncer/chair

Baby Bjorn travel cot

My parents bought us a travel cot and the in laws bought a play mat (and really went all out, it's enormous 😂). Other things that were gifts include a bouncer, baby monitor and cot mobile. Baby carrier could be a good one as well? Or a chair for nursing (I have an IKEA poang). Changing bag?

What about a feeding chair? Or a baby carrier? A changing table or a baby wardrobe are both quite big. If you are planning to bottle feed a bottle steriliser or a breast pump? Do you have a room picked out for baby? Could you ask MIL to have it painted a colour of her choice? Or maybe for fitted black ohtblinds? Do you have stair gates/play pens etc?

High chair is another big one

High chair.
Buggy for when you don't need a big travel system
Moses basket and stand
Sling/wrap
Monitor and gro egg
Travel cot

Maybe you could shop together for it or at least for ideas so she feels extra included

As others have said the co-sleeper is another big purchase. Also a decent baby sling or breast pump if these are things you'd like to have (and both surprisingly expensive brand new).

Perhaps you could schedule them in for future big purchases: a buggy, jumperoo or say that they can be in charge of shoes until baby starts school (£25-£30 each! and they grow quickly).

My gran-in-law gave us a (very generous) cheque for "baby proofing" when the time came for it. You could also ask them to open a savings account for baby.

Great ideas above. I have heard great things about the Sleepyhead pod which is a big expense so maybe that?

Something we had for DS1 was a jumperoo. Obviously not used until 5/6 months but it was well used and a lifesaver for keeping him occupied whilst I got ready etc.

x

What about a sleepyhead. They seem to be the most popular newborn purchase.

If she wants to spend more I would suggest;

Co Sleeper such as Next2Me or similar
Highchair (some are really pricey)
Sleepyhead or similar
Nursery furniture (wardrobes, drawers, changing table, etc?)
Clothes to get you through the first year

Oooh, just thought of something else - MAMAROO!

One of DP's family got us one, it is ridiculously priced at around £300 but it's brilliant!

What about asking her to pay for a newborn/family photo session?

You could point out that you'll use the cot and pram etc for only a few years, but the photos will be treasured forever.

There are some good suggestions here.
What about explaining your side innocently offered these things, but if she would like to get bigger things for down the line it would be welcome. Stuff like the high hair and jumperoo etc. It will soften the financial blow if she starts saving now.

Alternatively what about taking her shopping to choose a coming home outfit for the baby? A pram suit or something that will probably be kept for sentimental reasons?

Bottles and steriliser if needed.
Either the Moses or a crib for the living room. Ours had those and used the cot upstairs.
Baby bouncer/chair. God send!

Instead of bedding ask for gro bags. Much safer and more expensive.

Thank you all so much for the replies they're brilliant.

I've given DP some options to show her so she's got a choice but one of the more expensive options is an ergo baby carrier I've been looking at... we've got a dog and tend to do a lot of countryside walking where the pram won't be able to go so that'd be really useful from when the baby's very small, I'd much rather her get us something that we're going to use as opposed to something and going to be chucked in a cupboard but looks pretty.

I'll have to ask him to get her to call me as I think (know) he's terrible at passing on messages. From what he's said she's gone a bit mad on the clothes front (as has my mom) and I know they a popular present god only knows where we're going to put everything we're going to have to move house at this rate lol

I love my Angelcare baby monitor with the sensor mat as it stops me from prodding my poor sleeping baby all night. Also second the Moses basket idea. I had a gorgeous Clair De Lune one which I loved. Also love my Bumbo chair. There are still lots of significant purchases left for your MIL