Can I/ should I finish work earlier??

[ethelfleda]

I'm currently 32 weeks. Originally planned on finishing end of Oct at 38 weeks. Employer has known about pregnancy since 12 weeks. Its been a very straight forward low risk pregnancy so far (touch wood) I've only had time off for appointments.

Within the last month to six weeks, the stress and pressure has gone though the roof due to me covering for others holidays etc... it generally is a toxic environment to work in also! Although my boss has hugely appreciated it and it has been noted that they couldn't have coped without me!
Anyway, after yet another spate of over time recently to try and get caught up, I just feel like I can't do it anymore! My body seems to be telling me to slow down... I'm so tired and can't tell what symptoms are pregnancy related and which ones are stress related! It has been suggested to me by a few people (DH included!) That I bring my leaving date forward by two weeks so I can relax and prepare for our new arrival!
Am I able to do this (first of all!) Is be giving them a months notice... and secondly - should I?? Should I hang on and have more time with my baby?? I'm having a year off with him

Thanks for reason and sorry for the long post!!

Not 100% bit I think you may need 28 days written notice to change start date. Are you owed any annual leave you could take pre maternity leave?

I'm owed 2 days. I worked out that if I provided written notice on Monday of 28 days then I could have 13th October as my last day.

It's personal preference. Some women finish at 38 weeks and complain they are bored senseless.

I finished at 34 weeks. This is because I had saved up a load of A/L to use, so I could finish early without it cutting into time with my baby once he arrives. I certainly haven't been bored! In fact, I feel like I've worked harder than I have at work! Deep cleaning the house, preparing the nursery, washing and drying baby clothes, packing hospital bags. It's been endless! Haven't done any of the batch cooking I planned. Haven't managed much of the relaxing and meeting up with friends I had hoped for either! This is partly due to the fact I've had bad sickness all through my pregnancy, which means I spend a lot of time flopping around, feeling ill and moving painfully slowly.

I'm so glad I finished early, there's no way I could have worked up to 38 weeks. I think I'd have been totally done in by 36 weeks and would have needed to finish then, even if it ate into my maternity leave.

If you're feeling exhausted now, there's no shame in leaving early. It may have cost and time implications on your mat leave, but if you're able to make that compromise, I'd say go for it. Being bored has not been a problem for me!

I think if you're planning a year off then I'd go off a couple weeks sooner. One thing though I found with my first is that time off before is not necessarily as relaxing as I'd expected. Work made me power through and I didn't have time to dwell on how huge and uncomfortable I was. When I stopped I seemed to just focus on the negativities rather than enjoy the time off (but it was unexpected time off as I went off at 37 weeks and only delivered at 41+ weeks so that might have been a factor).

Alternatively could you just work shorter days or refuse overtime?

Do it. I was meant to finish at 38 weeks, use 2 weeks holiday and then start mat leave the week he was due. But I just couldn't hack it anymore and I was getting absolutely no help whatsoever.

So booked another week holiday so I would be off 3 weeks. Best decision ever because at recent scans he wasn't growing properly and I have to be induced early,so I'm using this time off to sleep and get ready!

Only you know how you feel. I'm leaving at 33 weeks but have a few weeks hol to add on pre maternity leave. Although my last pregnancy was great, I was bloody huge and uncomfortable. This time I have a few issues and job is quite physical so I would rather have the time to myself before to get ready.

Thanks all.

I can absolutely refuse over time - it was decision to do it because I hate letting my clients down. Plus I thought it would make me less stressed to not have such a huge workload to get through in an 8 hour day.

I was hoping to just carry on working and not stress but I can't help it when I am there - I am my own worst enemy and end up taking a bit too much on! Which is why I was thinking it would be a much better idea to leave a little earlier.

If you can refuse overtime I'd start off by doing that for a few days and see how you feel. If you still feel stressed with it, hand in maternity leave notice and leave early.

You have a year with the baby so a couple of weeks is neither here nor there. Do what you feel comfortable with. Your clients are going to have to cope either way really and knackering yourself isn't helpful in the long run.

I had plans of 'working until I dropped' scared I was going to be bored at home waiting for baby to arrive. The reality of the third trimester then hit- I brought my maternity leave forward from 38 to 37 weeks then to 36 as really couldn't manage it anymore. I've got SPD so if they had argued I would have got signed off. As it was, work were very understanding and were actively encouraging me to start Mat leave. You will never get this time back and making sure you are as least stressed and well rested before the baby arrives can only be a good thing. I am delighted with my decision and definitely not bored. Good luck!

Go on sick of you don't feel well! It's the only way to do it without giving the 28 days notice period.

If you can afford to I'd absolutely do it. I'm 25 weeks and work in quite a high pressure job and I'm honestly just shattered and need the whole weekend to recover. Lord knows what it's like in the 30+ weeks when you're much bigger!

I have lots of sympathy. I too have been covering holidays/sickness for months on end now and my boss was sick this week also and I'm absolutely shattered. Had plans this weekend and cancelled them all so I can sit on my bum and eat snacks

Jessy that's the problem isn't it... work completely takes it out of me and in the evening I have no energy and certainly need all weekend to rest to recover... this means I don't do any to prepare for the baby! So now I'm panicking about that! What if he were to come early and I had only just finished work?! Doesn't bear thinking about... better pass the cake

Do what feels right for you. I was going to start maternity leave on my due date but had DS at 35 weeks. I look back and wish I'd been bored at home and wonder why I thought work was so bloody important when it totally wasn't!
All is ok now but I haven't had any time resting or bored for over 3 years since

I finished at 36 weeks as my commute was getting too much to go any longer. I ended up going 2 weeks overdue but loved having 6 weeks off prior to his arrival.

With DD1 I worked (long hours/1.5 hr each way commute/stressful but interesting job) until 37.5 weeks. Thought I was done in, last few weeks were a struggle, convinced I was "ready" to go on Mat leave. BUT those 2.5 weeks before DD arrived we SO BORING. I felt like my brain was melting. It also felt like wasted time in my 6 month leave. This time round I'm planning to work until as close as possible (so ideally a few days before - it will be an ELCS this time after a slightly traumatic labour/EMCS last time). What I will do is work from home 2/3 days a week towards the end. Might that be an option for you?

I was due to finish at 36 weeks but brought it forward 2 weeks with only 2 weeks notice. My blood pressure was creeping up and I was being sent for monitoring more so I think I would have tried to get signed off sick if they refused. I didn't have a particularly stressful job but it was such a relief to stop having to worry about it.

Do what feels right for you. I went off at 36 weeks with my first but I think if we have another I'll go even earlier (no later than 34 weeks, possibly even 32 or 33).

You probably know yourself whether you're the type of person who will get bored at home. I'm not that kind of person and really enjoy being off work so it wasn't a problem for me

Personally I'd encourage you to leave earlier. At the very end of pregnancy you tend to sleep worse at night (toilet trips, restless legs, general uncomfortableness!) so I found that I needed to nap in the day to make up.

I know it's a cliche but you'll never get this time back and I really enjoyed having nothing to do/nowhere to be [no commute or stress] at the end. Also, one of my babies came two weeks early which was a surprise - so if I'd not taken off longer I'd have had no time today relax!

I know people like to work right up to their leave date to have as much as possible on maternity leave but if you're planning to take a long time off, an extra two weeks at the start for your sanity/stress levels really won't matter.

Good luck x

I was meant to finish at 37 weeks, take 2 weeks holiday and start maternity at 39 weeks. I was exhausted from the commute as well as the work. I don't have a long commute but it's an hour in the car and my back couldn't cope with being in the car that long! My boss was really laid back and let me finish at 35 weeks with only 2 weeks notice. I was really bored for 4 weeks until the baby came but thinking back it was worth it to catch up on sleep before the baby came. I nested a bit, washed and ironed all the baby clothes and cleaned the windows etc. I would try and go to a bump and baby group if you can to interact with other new mums. Only downside is you could go 2 weeks over!

I worked right t the end. Not sure how now 😂 if you are feeling tired I would take it forward. I wish I had a bit more time to myself in hindsight.

Thank you for the replies.

I'm definitely not the type who would get bored at home! It's the only place I want to be at the moment

I'm definitely going to tell my boss tomorrow that I want to finish earlier. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted just making that decision.

I would finish early - you'll never have that time again to rest and look after yourself before DC arrives.

My DT's arrived at 32 weeks - I was in work one day and they were born the next. I wish I'd had some time to relax after finishing work before they made their appearance.

I thought I'd work to 38 weeks in my first pregnancy but changed it nearer the time to 36 weeks and was really ready to finish at that point. Dd arrived shortly after 38 weeks so I was glad I'd had a couple of weeks to chill out and get a few things organised.

This time I am planning to work to 38 weeks, but I'm only doing part time hours which is making a big difference, and if I wasn't in work I'd probably be just as busy looking after dd!

I loved those couple of weeks I had to myself before dd was born, I met up with friends who were on mat leave, sat down in the afternoons to watch boxsets on the sofa, had long relaxing baths, got things sorted around the house, and could do what I wanted without any stress or having to be anywhere at a certain time. Enjoy!

I'm dreaming of a nearly mat leave! I'm really not sure how it's possible for one to get "bored" at home? 🤔

I'm really NOT one of those people either! Don't get me wrong I don't mind work and I like being out and about but on the flip side I really wouldn't mind being home alone for weeks on end either. There is SO much to do! And if there wasn't I'd find something. There's the cleaning and general pottering around the house, nursery to organise, you could cook nice meals and impress your DP, you could sort the nursery wash baby clothes etc, watch TV with a blanket in the sofa, and generally just faff about! Heaven.

Maybe I'm just team lazy arse

Although I know some people don't like being alone which is understandable specially being pregnant and DPs working.

Mine is in the military so it's like I'm basically single anyway I'm always on my own haha.

Considering you will be taking a year off anyway, I would definitely finish a couple of weeks early. With DC1, I finished at 37 weeks (as I assumed he would be late and I would be bored at home). It was a bit of a struggle from 35 weeks and he ended up arriving a week early.

This time around, I had planned to finish at 37 weeks, but ended up bringing it forward to 34 weeks. Physically I was fine, and still am at 38 weeks. But mentally and practically I wasn't ready, having had a pretty stressful year, a toddler to look after and a house that was upside down. So far I've had 3 weeks off and have used the days DS is at nursery to do loads of DIY, cleaning and batch cooking. Not exactly restful, but at least I feel more prepared!