Please don't judge.

[imjustnotme]

I've known my partner 2 years we've only been together 10 months and I'm 8 months pregnant with both our first. Anyway before I was pregnant he use to try so hard, he'd text me, we'd take each other out for tea, we'd do things as a couple. We was really happy. But recently he's not been texting me, can't be bothered seeing me, there's no effort & I know he's been messaging other women. I just don't know if I've pushed him away with being pregnant or what to do. X

Sounds like a scoundrel. I'd distance yourself from him. No man worth his salt would treat his pregnant girlfriend this badly. You've got a lot to focus on. It's very bad form him messaging other women. How can you trust him?

If you are a couple it doesn't sound like he is playing his part by messaging other women. You being pregnant is not an excuse to not make an effort or communicate with other women. Sit him down and ask if he is actually invested and committed tot he relationship, if he isn't start thinking about your plan B.

I don't think it's got anything to do with pushing him away with pregnancy. But unfortunately you got pregnant before you had any stability as a couple and before you really knew him. And it seems who he is, is not a good prospect for the long haul.

I think you have to prepare to go it alone.

It doesn't sound like he is ready to commit at all. Did he say he was ready for a baby? He clearly had no respect for you if he's messaging other women! It sounds to me your better off with him and I know it's easy for people to say that but just think about you and your baby.

Tbh the bit before you were pregnant was only 2 months. Most men will be on their best behaviour for that first part. You're getting to know the real him now and he sounds like a scumbag.

Sounds like he's just not that into you.

I'd also be getting my head around being a single parent.

Does he work? If so, is it full time or self employed?

He was the one who wanted the baby. As bad as it sounds I was 50/50 when I found out I was pregnant as it was so soon but he was the one who was adamant he wanted to settle down and be a family. I've offered him to split up and he can be as involved as he'd like in the baby's life and I've offered him to walk away and I'll do it on my own but he's adamant he's wants us both😩. I knew when I decided to keep the baby there was always going to be a risk of being a single parent it's just not what I wanted. X

He's works full time. 5 days a week 6am-7pm x

I know how you feel as I'm in a very similar situation, having only been with my partner for a few months before we found out we were having an baby. It's really hard as it does completely fast track a relationship. All I can say is perhaps he's feeling overwhelmed and is withdrawing from you as it's easier than facing reality and responsibility. It's no excuse and texting other women is pretty unacceptable but he might feel differently and hopefully behave differently once the baby is actually here and he is confronted with his own offspring?

So you decided to have a baby with this guy when you weren't 100% sure about it, and you weren't living together, engaged, or married?

Sorry OP He sounds like a twat texting other women with a heavily pregnant partner. I'd be prepared to go it alone and make a lovely wonderful life for you and your baby.

Hmm well if he truly means it he needs to get his act together and prove it to you by being there and not message other women. It's simply not fair on you or the baby. He can't have beet of both worlds. Have you had a chat with him about it?

Best*

Bluntly, what he says doesn't mean a whole lot. Talk is cheap. Talk about how much he wants you won't get up in the night with the baby, or give you someone you can lean on and trust post-birth when you're exhausted and vulnerable. He's not acting like a good partner or dad, so who cares what he says?

It doesn't sound like this is working out, and it's really unlikely to get better after the birth. A newborn strains the best of relationships. Time to start thinking less about what he says and more about what you need and deserve.

Thank-you for all your comments. It's difficult I agree but even though I'm pregnant I need to put myself first. If I'm not happy how am I going to raise a happy baby. I'd rather her have two happy homes than one unhappy home. My problem is now that he works Monday-Friday 6am-7pm and now it's shooting season he'll be out ever Saturday shooting 8am-6pm so he will either collect her Sunday morning or Saturday night depending on how he feels. Looks like people's true colour eventually show. Now I've got to spend Tue/We'd night at his for his electric company to come fix new meters in and for the window company to come out a new window in baby's room- ps- 1 positive is that I've just been offered a 2 bedroom flat that I can collect the keys on tomorrow (very close friend renting it out). Least we will have our own place and a happy home❤️

Is hunting season something which he relies on for Income? Or is hunting a hobby?

No hunting is just a hobby X

And you're worried he's just going to abandon you to do a hobby? If he's the sort of man who would do that right at the beginning and not be around at all then it sounds like you'd be better off without. It sounds like you do know him if you're concerned he'd do that. He is messaging other women and then apparently going to go hunting when not working. I couldn't trust a man like that. Sorry

Take control. He's barely there 6 days a week, has other women on the go and still claims he wants to settle down and be a family? Stop asking him what he wants. Do what's best for you and the baby.

@GrockleBocs exactly! What do you want OP? Make a decision and stick to it