Hi, was hoping I could get some advice without being judged. I'm going to start from the very beginning and go into detail so that someone can give me an informed reply.
I had my first child when I was 18. While I was pregnant my partner violently attacked me & my baby was put on child protection. I attended the freedom project and did everything they asked of me. Once he was 6 months old he was taken off and my case closed. He is now 7 and is doing brilliantly in school and is happy and healthy. We have so much family support and love around us.
3 years later I got a new partner. He had been in trouble with the police for various things but nothing while we were together. One evening he had a family bbq, got drunk and ended up fighting with his dad. The whole family were there including me and my son, although we were in the house with the door locked and they were in the garden. The police were called and because my son was there, they informed social services.
Because of my past relationship and now this new partner who seems to become violent when alcohol is involved, we were taken to conference again. We did everything they asked of us including only seeing each other without my child there for a while. He went to alcohol classes and anger management. The case finally was closed.
A year later I fell pregnant with his baby. Things were great, my health visitor who had supported us through all the conferences was extremely happy for us. (She never really seen why we were on child pretection, as there was no domestic violence towards me and my child was always kept safe) everything was brilliant for a year.
Our relationship broke down when I found out he had been unfaithful. I took my children and took myself to my aunties out of the way. This only angered my ex because he felt I was taking his son from him. He sent me various threatening messages and also threatened my family. I called the police and told them about the threats made. Social services came to visit me but no further action was taken.
Things calmed down and although we never got back into a relationship we were trying to be friends for the kids sakes and we still had family outings and he would come round for dinner some evenings. This was great for a year, until he felt that things were so good we could make a go of it again. I told him there was no way I would ever be in a relationship with him again, as the trust was gone. But I would like to stay friends. He completely lost it and he smashed up my property. The police were called and he was arrested. Social services came out to visit once again and advised me that if it was found out me and him were continuing a relationship (which we are not) my children would be taken to conference once again & this would not look good at all. How many times does a child have to be put on child protection before something is done? I completely understand. The case has been closed with the warning of what will happen if I ever was to get back with him.
Anyway my problem is... before social services made a visit. I went on a night out and ended up bumping into my ex, I'd had a drink and ended up going to a hotel with him. Stupid decision! I have now found out I am 3+ weeks pregnant and I am terrified. I can't help but think that if I tell SS, they won't believe that I am no longer in a relationship with him.
If a midwife was to tell ss that I am pregnant again, could they reopen the case, even though I am not with my ex and we both agree enough is enough?
Will my children all be taken from me?
Do I have to name the father?
Will I be investigated again or will they only become involved if there is another incident?
I know this is a tricky case and that's why I have tried to include everything. I'm in a right mess and although the thought of termination makes me sick, if I need to do it for the sake of the two children I already have and love, I will do. The guilt of me even saying that is horrendous and I'm sitting here in floods of tears. I've got myself in the worst situation & I really don't know what to do. Please any advise will be helpful, thanks.