Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

Original poster

Young parent

17 replies

cookies92 · 10/09/2017 09:40

Hi,

Do people think having a baby at 21/22 is too young or just young in general? I know it's not like 16/17/18 so just wondered peoples views on it.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Godotsarrived · 10/09/2017 09:42

It depends on your circumstances and personality. I know incredibly mature 18 year olds and tremendously immature 40 year olds. Can you support yourself and the baby?

AmyB1986 · 10/09/2017 10:16

Hi, I don't think 21-22 is too young. It does depend on your circumstances though and if you're able to take care of a child financially.
I was 21 almost 22 when I had my daughter and had both dd's by the time I was 24. 31 now and expecting our 3rd dd's arrival in a few weeks time.
Our circumstances were good at the time of our two daughters arrivals and are still now but to be honest I don't think you're ever fully prepared for children.
Like pp said, I know 18 year olds who manage far better than some 40 year olds!

demirose87 · 10/09/2017 10:19

I had my first at 20 and am now having my fourth at 29. I probably wasn't really ready for a baby but I made myself be ready so I could be a good mum to my son. I'm glad I have completed my family young.

Expectingbsbunumber2 · 10/09/2017 10:30

I had my daughter at 22 and was in a relationship with her dad.

outofmymind2 · 10/09/2017 10:33

Had my first at 20. It was a huge learning curve but I think it was the perfect timing for me personally.
I'm no longer with his father due to an abusive relationship but that's another matter.

It totally depends on the person

MrsJayy · 10/09/2017 10:38

I had my first at 21 I think it was unprepared on the impact a baby has on you I don't think that is an age thing though. They are now 25 and some of the kids they went to school with have kids my dc said there is no way they would want a baby which is fair enough we are all different.

stopbeingadramallama · 10/09/2017 10:48

I was 18 and had a baby. My boyfriend was a few years older and in the army. We did fine. (I had worked first time until just before I gave birth)
I don't think it's to do with age. People grow up at different times and I think it's stupid that people can be so judgmental on it.
If people are ready to have a baby, it doesn't matter how old they are.

Hannabee123 · 10/09/2017 10:55

I'm 22 now and 25 weeks with my first. Don't think it's too young. I know girls who dropped out of school before their Gcses to have children and they are doing well. Everyone has their own opinions but who cares as long as you try and make things work

Hopeful2102 · 10/09/2017 12:24

Im 24, completely unplanned

2ducks2ducklings · 10/09/2017 12:31

I had my daughter at 20
And was pregnant with my son at 22. I'd been with my now husband since we were 15, bought our first house and both worked full time. I don't think we were too young, but we had a very stable life and relationship. If someone is 20-22 but at university or still living with parents, that may make things a bit difficult. But I'd say it's more to do with circumstances rather than age.
The only warning I should give regarding having children at 20 is that they grow up and you get broody and 12 years down the line you decide you're both still young enough to have another (after all, some people are only on their first at 32) and you both decide to have one more. You'll find yourself renovating a home with 8 weeks to go until you're due to give birth and in a high state on anxiety. It happened to someone I know

Original poster

cookies92 · 18/09/2017 09:17

So would people say at the age of 21 but not living together and just been together for a month after a 5 month break (was together for 1.5 years before) makes it too young?

OP posts:

Lemondrop99 · 18/09/2017 10:20

For me, age wouldn't be the issue in that scenario. Only just back together after a prolonged break? What's the rush? Take time to work on your relationship before adding a baby to it.

TriJo · 18/09/2017 10:24

Depends on the person and their circumstances. A 21 year old who is in a stable relationship, working full time, has their own home etc is going to be in a better place for a baby than for example someone older who is single, living in a houseshare, unemployed or underemployed etc.

I had my son at 31 and wouldn't have felt even remotely ready until I was about 29-30, but it's totally different for others.

EsmeeMerlin · 18/09/2017 10:27

Depends on the person. I had my son at 20 and am now expecting my second at 24 but I lived with my long term partner, we had good jobs and we have always coped just as well as people in their 40s.

However some people that age are still living at home, not fantastic jobs with partners on and off. You can't say if someone is not ready just based on their age.

MrsJayy · 18/09/2017 10:28

I wouldn't have a baby with somebody i was on/off with regardless of age if a pregnancy is unplanned but keeping a baby is a personal choice isn't it?

Hannabee123 · 18/09/2017 11:54

It doesn't matter if someone is young and having to live with parents or whatever! I'm in a stable situation but I know others who haven't been and they are just fine. Just because your circumstances are different from others better or worse, doesn't mean your going to be a bad parent or give your child any less love.
I'm fortunate enough to have a long term partner and my own home, car and job. I know so many people that haven't and they are amazing parents.

peachgreen · 18/09/2017 11:57

It would have been way too early for me (plus I didn't meet the right person to have children with until I was 28 and the thought of having had a baby with the person I was with at that age makes me shudder in horror!). But that's not true for everyone. However, in the specific scenario you outline in your further post, it doesn't seem like ideal circumstances or the most stable relationship.

Flip