Help! Need a few questions answered about my d&c

[Tanyelx]

I was 13 weeks and 3 days pregnant and found out I had lost my baby. Had a d&c 2 days ago but have a few questions that I didn't get answered that well in hospital.
I can't stop crying. When will it get better?
When did your bleeding stop? Mine has stopped but I heard it starts back up. Was wondering if it will have stopped for good now or if my bleeding will start back up again?
When did you get a period?
When can I have a bath? I was told just to shower for now but I hate showers.
When can you resume back to your normal sex life?
When can I try again for another baby?
Has anyone had any positive stories about conceiving after a d&c?
Thanks a lot.

I'm so sorry. It's really tough.

I had a d&c last year. We started ttc within 2 weeks once my bleeding stopped and I felt comfortable. Operation in September, fell pregnant in January, due in October. So it happened very quickly for us. Think successful conception/pregnancy soon after miscarriage is seen as more likely within 6 months. We'd been trying for ages when we first conceived so it felt like such a blow. Having sex helped me feel like I was getting back to normal to be honest - comfort thing more than concerted effort....

Give yourself time to recover. I was off work for 3 weeks in total. I didn't cry much but I was majorly pissed off, very tired, moody and depressed. Baths helped me- think I jumped in before I was meant to but just made sure it was always cleaned etc. Wine helped too, though only a glass here and there. I read a lot and listened to my body - had insane cravings for foods (prawns actually) so note that your body can be a bit off and destabilised. Everyone reacts differently though - just give yourself a big break

Should have said first normal period for me was November...

Thank you so much for your advice. I have a 7 month old and was just so heartbroken to hear our second baby had passed. I just can't handle the thought of me not being pregnant anymore.
As you are someone who has been through the same do you reckon this is the bleeding stopping for me for good till my first period? I've hear stories about people bleeding lightly for a couple days then it getting heavier for a couple weeks. Stopping then having heir first period.
As I was bleeding heavily 3 weeks before miscarrying all I want is to stop bleeding right now.
I really hope my ttc story ends up like yours. Me and my partner are desperate for another baby so our daughter and next sibling have a very small age gap.
Do you think it will be safe for me to have a bath tonight? I'm desperate for one. They did give me a big dose of 4 antibiotics right after my d&c incase of infection so I should be fine if I have a bath?
Thanks a lot for the advice

I agree with @SeatOfMyPants, having sex again was a huge comfort. I also was off work for a few weeks and I'm so glad, because yes you do cry a lot. I also found that the first decent hair wash made me feel like a new woman.

I am so sorry you're going through this. I felt so raw for such a long time, there is no time limit really for how long you grieve, whatever you do is right. Even now, over a year later it still brings tears to my eyes just thinking about those first few weeks when you feel so lonely and lost. You aren't alone though.

I also agree with above post that I think the first 6 months after your chances of a successful pregnancy are higher. Take as much time as you need though. I found having a few months' break from TTC let my body heal a little and mentally prepared me for pregnancy again. X

That's so tough, especially when you're so far on.

I think mine stopped then 2 weeks later I got a bit of odd black/brown 'bleeding' (more like discharge) that lasted a few days. Then a few weeks later, my period.

I don't want to advise you about the bath. I'm not a medical prof But I'm sure I broke most rules... particularly wine after anaesthetic advice (just a glass tho!)....ultimately you decide how you feel and how you balance the risk with the other outcomes (i.e. relaxation).

Take good care. I'm sure, especially as you are so close to the birth of your DD, that you'll be uber fertile and conceive very quickly - this time without issue. And try not to be an anxious nutcase like me when you do!!!

@seatofmypants and @hazandduck thanks so much. The fact two lovey women have taken time out their day to reply to me has made me cry (so bloody emotional right now)
I might just risk it and have a bath as I'm that desperate for one. I feel so gross after everything I've been through the past couple of days.

Day times I'm fine with my emotions as I'm so busy with my little girl but when it gets to night times I just cry myself to sleep if I do get any sleep.
My partner is being amazing and says as soon as I feel comfortable we can try again and get back to our normal sex life (which I can't wait for)

I can't help but think negatively about my next pregnancy already though. Really hope everything goes well once I do eventually get pregnant again.

Honestly thank you both so much for replying. I didn't know who to talk to or where to ask things like this.

@Tanyelx it is such a hard thing that people don't tend to talk about. I found MN such a huge comfort, there is also a big community on Instagram through which I made friends who have had losses, weird how you can just talk to total strangers about it but struggle to speak to people you know. They just never say the right thing!
So glad your OH is being supportive. It's hard on them too isn't it. And re the bath, I would say if you've stopped bleeding you would be ok, but that is just my opinion. I remember feeling so desperate to get back to normal. I bled for 2 weeks and then spotted for another week. Maybe text the midwife or call EPU and check with them?
Sending strength xx