Giving birth alone

[outnumbered4]

I'm pregnant with baby no.5 and life has fallen apart over the last few months. My partner has completely left me alone in the pregnancy, and now I've fallen out with my mum. I don't know what to do.

I've had a lot of health problems during this pregnancy and my partner has been as good as useless, he doesn't live with us now and rarely visits although he sometimes has the kids at his house so I can "rest" although really this is just so he doesn't have to come over to see us.

He hasn't contributed to any of the things for the baby (I had to start from scratch with baby things as I gave everything away after my last baby) and hasn't even visited me in hospital or come to any appointments. Although he is acting like he's thrilled to be having this baby.

I'm booked for a c section in 2 weeks and he's just told me today that he will have the kids at his house when I come home from hospital. So I would be coming home from hospital alone with baby and would just be on my own from day 1. My mum likes a drink and was drunk and horrible to me a couple of weeks ago and hasn't spoken to me since so she won't be around. I don't want my children somewhere else when their new sister comes home they should be with us.

I'm thinking of just going in for my c section on my own as I've been on my own through the whole pregnancy and will be alone as soon as I come home. I don't want to wake up and find that the baby has been given to her dad while I'm asleep, i want to see her before he can start taking photos and sending them around etc which I know he would. I don't know what to do would it be horrible of me to tell him to stay home and visit after she's born? I feel so hurt and let down by him. Sorry for the long post

Oh you poor thing, Do you have any friends you could call upon? Or any other family? Your mum doesnt sound like shes been very supportive recently either, but does she always drink? Could you potentially put it past you and have her there to help out with your other children?

Sorry posted to soon,, im assuming you know that you will have a GA for your section? If thats the case I wouldnt blame you for not wanting him there, esp as he has been unsupportive throughout the pregnancy and hasnt contributed to anything! I would be furious to wake up to find people on facebook had seen my daughter before me!! If there really is no1 not even a friend I would go it alone personally.

I had a failed spinal during my last section and chose to stay awake anyway which I don't want to do again as it was traumatic. They said they would attempt a spinal this time to see if it would work but I'm thinking of just bypassing that and asking to be put straight to sleep. There will be complications with the section and I'm scared I think I might be better to just go to sleep and wake up afterwards.

My mum has always liked a drink, she quite regularly gets drunk and lays into me she's nasty and spiteful when she's had a drink. She then won't contact me or apologise until I try to speak to her, when she will continue to be off because she won't admit she was wrong. I don't want to engage with that at the moment I feel like I haven't got enough left in me to deal with everything.

I have friends that would come in with me if I asked but I think I just want to be left alone, I don't want to talk to anyone or see anyone at the moment.

I guess its a case of what ever is best and safest for you and your baby on the day and I hope it all goes well and as non traumatic as it can be for you my dear.

Your mum sounds like a no go then, and you probably would not want to leave her with your children as she sounds unpredictable.

Im glad you have friends that you can call on should you need to. Even if they look after your other children whilst your in hospital. Im sure your a strong and brave lady and no doubt you could do this by yourself but theres no harm in talking to your friends for real life support esp in times like this, you may feel relieved to have someone to actually help and support you. You will need some help after you come home too, you dont want to do too much as you will have a scar that needs to heal x

I'm worried about that as my scar split last time, it put me back in hospital and took 4 months to heal up in the end. I don't want that to happen again.

I think I've got myself to a place where I feel so low that I can't see anything positive anymore, it just feels like everything is constantly piling up on top of me and I'm on my own. I know I should feel happy and excited now but I just don't