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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

18 weeks pregnant and fiancée has had enough of me

17 replies

Vi37 · 03/09/2017 16:03

Not entirely sure what I've done wrong, I try my best to do everything, I work full time, have my own business on the side and try to keep on top of the house work, I make tea every night. My fiancée has been snapping at me for a while now, having a baby was very much his idea, I'm struggling with it but I'm happy. He's just acting so strangely, e.g.: he stormed in the kitchen today asking me if I was going to get something for my dinner or does he have to do everything? Then he said he's had enough, I don't know what he's had enough of I couldn't get a straight answer out of him. I always make dinner, I think he's made dinner for me maybe 10 times at the most in the 10 years we've been together. Nothing he's saying is making sense. He's now gone out, to his mums I assume. Not entirely sure what I should do now? Should I ask him or leave him to come round? His mum has terminal cancer and he's stressed with his job but everything is being taken our on me, it's not good for the baby, I'm just trying to work out if I'm going to be left when I'm pregnant.

OP posts:
sprite25 · 03/09/2017 16:10

Sorry no advice as such but your fiance is being a 1St class asshole! I understand he is going through a tough time with his mum but he should be turning to you for comfort not constantly snapping at you. Stop being his doormat and then maybe he will see how much you really do, it will only get harder as your pregnancy progresses and when you have a new baby around. Have you tried having a proper talk to him, no pussy footing around but honestly telling him how you feel?

SheSaidHeSaid · 03/09/2017 16:18

I understand he's under stress because of his mum but it's really really not fair for him to treat you like this.

I'm not sure what you should do but I would definitely be evaluating things.

Original poster
Vi37 · 03/09/2017 16:19

Id try to talk to him, then he'll make something completely random up like the fact he does everything rather than him telling me what the exact problem is, it's like talking to the wall. He knows damn well I'd help him with whatever the problem is.

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SheSaidHeSaid · 03/09/2017 16:20

I know it's harsh but id probably ask him to leave. He can't keep pushing you away or treating you like this.

Orangebird69 · 03/09/2017 16:21

I'd tell him to stay at his mums and not to bother returning until he can vocalise with civility exactly what his problem is. Flowers for you.

Original poster
Vi37 · 03/09/2017 16:22

This is really not how I saw my life going at all, this is my first pregnancy and I'm 32 years old, we've been together for 10 years.

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Original poster
Vi37 · 03/09/2017 16:25

Thank you everyone. X

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Lemondrop99 · 03/09/2017 16:33

He's lucky that you're doing all that you are doing!! I was wiped off my feet at just 6 weeks with extreme pregnancy sickness. I literally went to bed for three months. DH was left doing everything (full time work, cleaning walking the dog and running around after me). Even now I'm 36 weeks, I'm still struggling and he's having to do an awful lot.

Pregnancy is bloody hard work and your fiancé needs to support you, not whinge. He could be stuck doing an awful lot more!! I really think you need to talk to him and tell him he's got to adjust his attitude. He probably is stressed with everything goin with his mum etc, but it's totally unfair to take it out on you.

Lemondrop99 · 03/09/2017 16:34

And I know you've said you've tried to talk to him, but you have to find a way to not let him wriggle out.

Original poster
Vi37 · 03/09/2017 16:40

If I pestered him about it he'd just go to bed so that he didn't have to talk to me and that would be it. I just don't know what he wants and it's so frustrating.

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Original poster
Vi37 · 03/09/2017 17:43

Well he's still no

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Original poster
Vi37 · 03/09/2017 17:44

He's still not back yet, I've no idea where he is.

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Original poster
Vi37 · 03/09/2017 18:33

Well he's back and has gone straight upstairs. That will be it for tonight then. I won't get any sleep now and have to go to work tomorrow.

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confusedat23 · 03/09/2017 18:48

Men strop worse when they know they are in the wrong OP!

I don't think his behavioir is right and i'm noy conding it at all! But to chuck 10 years away if you have been happy so far would be a massive deal!

I would sit him down with a notepad and say you are listening to his concerns about him doing so much and so you think it would be better to make a structured list of jobs day by day so you know who is responsible for what... often these arguments are caused because each othet feels like they do more in comparison to the other person even though rationally you know that isn't true...

You can also use that talk as a chance to explain what you are both struggling with pregnancy wise and what you can help support the other with.

Pregnancy effects both of you so you need to work together now before the baby comes!

Original poster
Vi37 · 03/09/2017 20:14

Thank you for your replies everyone, I know he's stressed and hurting over his mum but he's such hard work. I don't actually think I'd get any rational conversation from him. When he has an outburst like this he'll twist it round to make it someone else's fault. He's also snapping at his dad quite often.

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Expectingbsbunumber2 · 03/09/2017 21:07

How he is being with you is totally unfair!! Yes it must be hard with what's happening with his mum but he needs to realise that he cannot take it out on you, your there for him. Being pregnant is tough enough with him stressing you out. You need to try and have a chat with him and try and make him listen to you! Chin up lovely x

Original poster
Vi37 · 03/09/2017 21:11

Thank you. Anyway I know I shouldn't but I'm going to sleep on the sofa, I don't want to be near him at all I'm so cross. X

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