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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy after sterilisation? Recently lost my son so assuming is all in my head...

14 replies

TangoShoes · 30/08/2017 16:16

Hello,

Ridiculously anxious posting this, please bear with me. My eldest son died extremely suddenly, aged 20, in May. My ex partner committed suicide last Sunday under horrific circumstances. We have, had, one child together. We are all in total shock.
I was sterilised in April. It was my choice, I do not want any more children, even now that I have lost my boy.
Am horrified to admit that sex with my current partner actually helps me at the moment; I go into another part of me, it's almost primal. Please don't judge me.

However, I have had a number of children and every time I have been pregnant, the smell of smoke, in fact even the thought of the smell of smoke knocks me utterly sick. My current partner smokes. It's never bothered me up until about a week ago. Historically, I know I'm pregnant really quickly (have been pregnant 6 times). My boobs are currently tender, I have headaches, I am dizzy and absolutely knackered. However, am also grieving, trying to look after two young children - one of whom is in pieces having lost her dad - visiting my son's grave every day and also training for a half marathon next weekend.
I am absolutely shitting myself that I am pregnant. Have taken a test, it was negative, but I know it's too early to tell yet, it's maybe 5 days before my period is due (though they are completely all over the place).
I know it's a 1 in 200 chance. I know am stupidly fertile. I also know if I was everyone around me would be so thrilled and call it a "gift from my son" or some shit like that. Part of me wonders if I am desperately craving the feel of new life again, despite genuinely not wanting another child. I had an extremely vivid dream 10 days ago where I dreamed I had given birth to my partner's child and woke feeling as though I could literally feel this baby suckling my breast (I always breastfeed).

Can anyone tell me if they have heard of pregnancy after sterilisation please? It was a tubal ligation I had, beginning of April. I am fully willing to accept that this is part of my grieving process and also know that I will only know via testing in a week or so. I just need a bit of support until I know.

Thanks in advance

X

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 30/08/2017 16:30

Can't help with the pregnancy bit - because of your history could a doctor run a blood test - are they more sensitive ?

Sorry for your losses.

TangoShoes · 30/08/2017 16:35

Thanks so much notapizzaeater - hadn't even crossed my mind. Will ring for appointment.

OP posts:
AnUtterIdiot · 30/08/2017 17:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Allice · 30/08/2017 17:40

I can't help with your question but I'm so very sorry for your losses.

TangoShoes · 30/08/2017 23:36

Thanks both - took a further test tonight and it was positive, so I guess that's answered my question. X

OP posts:
WineAndTiramisu · 30/08/2017 23:56

My auntie got pregnant 5 years after sterilisation, so definitely not unheard of

I see you've had a positive now, you've plenty of time to think about what you want, good luck x

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 30/08/2017 23:59

I'm so sorry for everything you've been through.

Don't let anyone pressurise you into what to do next. This is totally your decision.

Flowers
TangoShoes · 31/08/2017 00:07

My partner got the news and left me so I don't feel like I have much choice on what to do. I can't physically or emotionally do this alone again. It just means more loss though. It's just one thing after another and am exhausted. X

OP posts:
Mrskeats · 31/08/2017 00:10

Your partner left? Are you ok?

Mum2oneds · 31/08/2017 00:16

He's probably just shocked. Give him a few days to come to terms with it. Dont make any decisions in haste x

Butterymuffin · 31/08/2017 00:23

Hugs for you OP. Don't worry about jumping into action yet. You've got time to make a decision about the pregnancy (and if it's not right for you, no one sensible would fail to understand you not going ahead with it) and you're in shock. Who do you have to talk to IRL? Can you get access to some counselling as you've clearly been through a lot lately. Maybe ring your GP or see if any support groups can help.

TangoShoes · 31/08/2017 00:26

To be honest, am in complete shock. I've been sterilised, how can this be. I lost my son 13 weeks and 5 days ago. My ex partner died 11 days ago. And now this. Part of me desperately craves life, but jesus h christ, not like this and not this soon. I still go to my son's grave every single day, it's been 68 days since I buried him and I've not missed a single day. Am going to try and sleep and not make any mad decisions. Am livid with my partner. Regardless of whatever happens, I needed him tonight and he left me. Thankfully, I have amazing friends who've been on the phone with me all evening and are coming over tomorrow (I'm self-employed and can't work at the moment so the days have been extremely long). I also have a grieving 8 year old to take care of and an autistic non-verbal 4 year old. I think it's best to just sleep and try to make some sense of this with a clearer head. Bloody hell though. X

OP posts:
icclemunchy · 31/08/2017 00:30

Sorry to hear your partner has let you down 😔 I hope your friends can give you the help and support you need.

I just wanted to say however that when I was sterilised last year the surgeon said if at any point I suspected I was pregnant to see the GP immediately because the risk of an ectopic pregnancy is very high after sterilisation

Picklesandpies · 05/09/2017 10:16

How are you OP? I hope you've been managing ok and had some time to gather your thoughts. Flowers

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