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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Am I right to be upset?

12 replies

Chels190 · 28/08/2017 21:17

Firstly let me start by saying I wasn't with my current partner very long before I fell pregnant (now 34 weeks with both our First) she wasn't planned and from the very start I've offered him every opportunity to walk or stay and his answer has always been the same 'I want you and our baby- I want this family' I've known him for 3 years so thought I knew him fairly well as we were friend before dating but as I'm coming closer to my due date I'm did-liking him more and more to the point I've moved out. It firstly started when I got told I may have to have a C-Section due to a heart condition I've had since birth when I got home and explained what medics had advised his reply was 'well you have one of them and I'll never forgive you there's no need for one it's not like you'll die' which was actually the worry that my heart wouldn't cope with the strain of labour and could possibly cause me to die. Anyway at 30 weeks I had an eco scan and ecg and a major meeting with top consultants (which he didn't attend because the cows at work mean more) and my heart condition isn't as bad as when I was last seen and in fact I could go ahead with a natural labour! Then he finds something else to bicker about we're both keen hunts people (No Judging) we beat and shoot all through winter but this year my due date is the day before season starts so I asked today I wonder if I'll of had baby by then or if we will be sat at home waiting for her arrival - well with the reaction I got you'd of thought I'd literally just tried to end his life his reply was 'weather she's here or not I'll be going- just make sure your waters don't break that day' bearing in mind if my waters did go he'all be a good 45 minutes away from the hospital (without taking the dogs home first) with no fucking signal!! Is he for real!! I ignored it and asked so if she comes on her due date what are you going to do the Saturday (start of seaon) and his reply was 'go beating I'll only be there from 8am-8pm what's the big deal' so as you can imagine my wonderful bank holiday Monday was ruined. Also since I moved out I've got a gut feeling he's not being faithful (I found messages on his phone from a night out to another women inviting her round & saying we'd spilt) which isn't true! I don't know if I'm being overly picky due to hormones or if I'm right. Please someone help- also if I'm on my phone near him he's constantly over my shoulder it doesn't bother me as it's normally my mum or his mum checking I'm ok and I'll be playing panda pop🙈 yet if he's on his phone he has to sit at the other end of the living room or be at the bottom of the garden. I really didn't want to be a single mum but it's looking more and more likely the closer I get to my due date X

OP posts:
WineAndTiramisu · 28/08/2017 21:50

I think his actions speak much louder than words unfortunately

Alexandra07 · 28/08/2017 21:54

I am sorry you are in this situation. It looks that he is not going to offer you a lot of support when baby arrives. His family should be his number 1 priority. Does he actually realise what you will go through and how often you need to feed the baby/change nappies etc?

Chels190 · 28/08/2017 21:56

I have no idea when I try to talk to him about it all the response I'm getting now is 'I've raised children in the past I know more than you' he's one of 8 and the second eldest so helped with his younger brothers and sister and also all of his exes have had young children. I feel like he's going to judge ever choice I make x

OP posts:
RebelRogue · 28/08/2017 23:09

well you have one of them and I'll never forgive you there's no need for one it's not like you'll die'

This tells you all you need to know. It's all about him,what he wants,what he feels,what he thinks it's right and fuck your health physical and mental.

Sorry love,don't see it lasting,and the longer it lasts ,the shittier you'll feel.

cherryontopp · 29/08/2017 09:06

I echo what Rebel said. It's all about him and he's opinions and wants.
He wants a natural birth despite your health condition (which is thankfully okay now)
He wants to go shooting in the season despite you being due by then.

Listen to your guts instincts. You know he's been messaging someone telling them you've broken up. These are not good signs.

I'd rather be a single mum than put up with someone like that and it will only get worse.

Dede124 · 29/08/2017 10:24

Sounds like you will be better off on your own. I can imagine you must be scared but you have made the right choice to move out and it sounds like you have your mum and his mum for support. He doesn't deserve you both, you need to use this time to prepare and focus on you and your baby Flowers

Bumdishcloths · 29/08/2017 10:34

He sounds like a right charmer. Yours and baby's needs are coming second to his, and that speaks volumes. Run.

Chels190 · 29/08/2017 13:12

Thank you ladies & after today's events I think it's become clear that I'd rather have two happy homes than one family home. Basically I owned a property with an ex and today I've signed my half of the house over to my ex (he couldn't remortgage when we first split so I agreed to stay on the mortgage until he had the funds to take it on solely). I rang my current partner to tell him all had been completed and that my Exs mum wished us the best. Well all hell has kicked off I need to get a grip and grow up in life I tried explaining to him I was only telling him the events of today so he knew and didn't find out from anyone else's hearsay but no it's not acceptable that I spoke to them today even though he had his ex of 7 years who he nearly married (it got called of just weeks before) messaging asking him how he was, if he knew anyone selling any puppies (baring in mind she knew full well that we had a liter of 3 week olds) and hid it from me the only reason I found out was that he asked me to look at a message and it was the first that poped up! Well here it is to us single mums! I'm sure I'll cope and have a good family around me! Hopefully baby will always have two parents involved in her life but as long as she's happy and healthy it's all that matters right now Xxx

OP posts:
helly29 · 29/08/2017 13:20

I'm sorry you're in this situation, but at least you know now before baby arrives. Better no relationship than a bad one. Wishing you all the best Flowers

RebelRogue · 29/08/2017 15:52

Sorry you are in this situation,but by the sound of it it's the best thing for all involved,especially you and the little baby.

KimmySchmidt1 · 29/08/2017 16:45

Well he does sound like he's been a bit of a twat but then my DH had a bad weekend this week and said some ridiculous nonsense to me, which if I posted on here a bunch of strangers would probably say "oh you should leave him, he is a twat", but I wouldn't dream of leaving him for it - we have built a marriage and a life together and I'm a fighter not a quitter - I just waded in and gave him hell for it, pointing out how unreasonable he was being. He was having a bad day, was stressed about something else, and eventually after i'd gone out to my pregnancy pilates class he texted me to apologise (but also to say I had upset him by saying some mean but true things back to him and now he was worrying about them).

If your DP is otherwise nice and this is out of character then its worth wondering what is wrong with him and if there is something behind it. Most relationships are worth exploring that rather than just disappearing.

RebelRogue · 29/08/2017 17:17

What's wrong with him is that he is a selfish arsehole.

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