AIBU?

[effs]

I'm 7 weeks pregnant and so far have not had an easy pregnancy. I have been bleeding the last few days and put on bed rest whilst I wait for a scan with EPU which has been delayed due to bank holiday weekend.

I am understandably feeling miserable, terrified, confused and emotional.. Tonight my partner threw a party, has not asked me how I'm feeling, if I need a rest, if I'm ok or even if I want to go to bed he has expected me to be a hostess with a smile on my face all night. Now it is past midnight and I managed to sneak off after feeling so awful and emotional to bed an hour ago however music is still blaring and he hasn't come to see if I'm ok. Is it unreasonable for me to feel so upset and unloved by this? I might have lost our baby and I just need to feel supported.

Oh, you poor thing. I absolutely hated that part of pregnancy, feeling shit, extreme anxiety and wondering if it is viable, needing a caring amazing supportive father of your child so much at that time and not necessarily getting it. You are absolutely not being unreasonable, and he's being a prick.

But it's totally normal too. It's not an excise but some men just seem to turn uncaring arseholes during pregnancy to then finally be amazing once baby is here. Maybe he is burying his head in the sand at the moment. Was the party planned before or after you found out you were pregnant?

Make sure you tell him how you feel, beforehand preferably. Now is not too late, go down and ask everyone to leave if they are keeping you awake.

That's a really shitty thing of him to do. Of course you need his support right now, it must be a really worrying time.

I will say however that a lot of the time a pregnancy doesn't feel real to a man until the baby is there in their arms as although they can love the unborn child they don't have the bond us women do, growing and feeling everything or said child.

This of course does not excuse his behaviour but I just wanted to point that out.

Try and get some sleep, I find if I'm not tired enough to sleep sometimes reading a book helps me nod off.

Don't put yourself in a more stressful position by going downstairs to the party, stay tucked up where you are and hopefully in the morning he will realise what an arse he has been tonight.

Good luck with the pregnancy

Ask he won't have come up because he expects you are asleep. Maybe send him a message asking him to come up so you can ask him to get everyone to leave. The last thing you need tomorrow is dealing with him hungover and the mess from an all night party.

Sorry, what?? You may be losing your baby and is throwing a party??? I am furious on your behalf!! What sort of selfish bastard does a thing like that? I wouldn't have been allowed it. It would have turned people away at the door and explained why. Grrr!!

Bless you, you're not being unreasonable at all. I also had bleeding at 7 weeks (thankfully all ok) and whilst my DH wasn't insensitive enough to hold a party (I'd have murdered him!!) he wasn't as emotionally affected during that time as I was- he said afterwards that until the 12 week scan he didn't conceptualise what was in me as a future baby, just a blastocyst made of cells that would eventually become a foetus and then a child if they kept growing. Whilst his very unemotional/unromantic view of our child was difficult for me it did make me think that it's so different for us as women as we notice all the changes in our body right from the off and naturally start to form an attachment with our little ones. Essentially I got massively sidetracked there OP, but just to say I really hope everything turns out ok with your pregnancy and your partner was an insensitive douchbag for holding a party and then not checking on you. I'd have words with him about how that made you feel xx