Dads bonding with my bump

[princessmumy]

I'm trying to encourage my partner to bond with my baby bump, I let him know when she kicks so he can feel, he rubs my belly and speaks to her on the odd occasion.
He'd like to speak to her more but doesn't know what to say to her, I was just wondering if anyone could give him some suggestions on what type of things he could chat to her about? Thank you

My husband talks about anything and everything. Stuff like how pre-season is going for his NFL team and what his plans for the weekend are. It doesn't have to be baby related. It really helped that when he started talking about NFL he felt a kick and feeling baby respond to his voice was amazing.

My DP never bonded with the bump. Cos he couldn't get his head round the fact that there was our baby in there. He would put his hand on the bump but couldn't really feel the kicks due to an anterior placenta so that didn't help.
DP felt a bit of a dick chatty to my abdomen so didn't do it. He has the best bond with our DS though.

Could he start by reading books or singing nursery rhymes. Sounds like he feels a bit shy of talking to a bump. Also just touching the bump and feeling the movements is good if he really doesnt want to talk just yet. He could sit behind you with his arms draped around you or down over your shoulders and rest his hands on the bump as you watch tv

Agree, get him to talk about anything. The news, work, the McGregor fight - doesn't matter. He could even read her a story if he felt comfortable with that.

Can't remember precisely when ears develop, around 17 weeks iirc...anyway, DH read the bump a little bedtime story every night from that week on

My dp talks to my bump and I'm. Only 12 weeks he has done from the day we found out. Every night says daddy loves you. Before telling me they all love me. He's a soppy bugger really. Haven't had the heart to tell him the baby can't hear yet lmao. He sings to it too.. (but then again that's one of his jobs /professions) I think it will definitely known his voice by time it comes to the kicking stages

I don't think he needs to be talking to bump for baby to recognise his voice, he just needs to be talking close to you.

My partner just talks about anything to him and sings away

He doesn't need to talk to it. They will recognise his voice regardless when they're born. And songs. And the theme song to your favourite tv show.

The suggestions about talking to it aren't so the baby will recognise his voice, but are for something for him to do for him to feel connected

Dh just pats the bump and asks baby boy if he's doing ok in there.

He's amazed everytime he feels him kick or wiggle about. I'm sort of over the novelty of it now - am 35 weeks and am looking forward to the baby arriving so he'll stop tenderising my ribs!!

I really wouldn't worry. Aside from feeling the odd kick DH didn't really attempt to bond with the actual bump. He had no trouble bonding with DD once she arrived. It's been the same this time.

I wouldn't worry about the bonding. Some wise old owl told me mums become mums when we fall pregnant, dads become dads when the baby is born. Obviously dads are dads before the big day but think it is more real for them when baby is here. I used to get frustrated at my OH for not wanting to feel the kicks all the time! Xxxx

I've never heard of bonding with the bump it sounds a bit forced. If you believe baby hears his voice she'll hear it when he speaks to you he doesn't need to address the baby directly. Let him do things his own way. Relax!

DH would feel kicks and hiccups- the days-long unrelenting hiccups! - but that was it. I'd have felt a right tit having him read or sing to my stomach. That's just the way we are, there is no right/wrong. DH and DS have a great bond and did from the start - DH shared feeding, bathing, singing to sleep, nappy changes, pushing the pram etc.

Congratulations

Agree it sounds forced and that Dads become Dads when the baby is born.

But if a Dad is keen to bond with the bump then I see nothing wrong with that either. I just wouldn't force my partner to bond with the bump.

DP used to lie his head on my belly when we were in bed or on the sofa watching telly and just chat to me so the baby could hear. Funnily enough, DD would only go to him as a teeny tiny to get settled. DS2 didn't, but he did turn his head to him the first time he spoke after DS2 was born.

Ah, I get it, it is nice when they can share in things a bit. I remember the first time my other half felt our son kicking - it was Christmas and we were lying in bed in the morning. Reading stories sounds like a nice idea if he wants to talk to the baby but he doesn't know what to say.

If only they could share some of the less pleasant bits of pregnancy, eh?!

DH loves our kids very very much and bonded straight away he's a natural with kids. He's a bit blokey (for want of a better word) though and If I asked him to bond with the bump he'd just tell me not to be daft! Loved the kicks and things at first but even novelty of those wore off in the end! I really wouldn't worry he sounds happy and interested! Good luck with bub op!

My husband never spoke to try bumps. He is currently reading to the 3 year old with the baby asleep on his lap so has bonded fine!! The baby will recognise his voice if he talks to you. Come to think of it I don't think I talked, read or sang to my bumps at all.

What about starting by just saying goodnight/good morning and giving a kiss? He can also read a short story before going to bed, you can find plenty of them online. But anything would do!

NerrSnerr me neither, I find all the stroking, talking and singing really odd! You're stroking your own skin, the baby hasn't a notion, it's not like you're giving it comforting rubs, just yourself! If my husband started singing or reading nursery rhymes to my stomach I'd think he'd lost it He's a fantastic dad, communicating with your stomach has no effect on bonding with the actual baby.

Thank you all for your help! I think he's definitely a bit shy. I talk to her as I go along my day and love feeling her kick back in response. I just wanted him to feel that feeling of her responding when he talks to her. He's still amazed when he feels her kick! I'll definitely be getting him to read over this!