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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Husband away at 38 weeks

18 replies

millie82 · 26/08/2017 19:07

I am torn. I am exactly 38 weeks pregnant (first time) and my husband is at a wedding in France. He wants to stay an extra night and would be a 12 hour journey away at the longest point (i.e. if he misses the last flight and gets the first flight in the morning) if anything happened. I don't want him to miss the fun but I really just want him to come home in case anything happens. Is that unreasonable?

OP posts:
northdownmummy · 26/08/2017 19:11

Hell no, straight back home. Can believe he thought it's ok to be so far away in the first place. When I was that far along my DH was jumping anyone the phone rand and never more then an hour away.

Kittysparks1 · 26/08/2017 19:56

No way, tell him to come home now. You could go into labour any second.
What is he thinking?!?!
My partner was an hour drive away from me in the last trimester. His battery on his phone died once and I was fuming with him and since then he made sure it was fully charged. I went into labour at 37+5 no warning and it came on thick and fast, I needed him with me.

Original poster
millie82 · 26/08/2017 20:53

He seems to think that all first time babies are late and that first time labours take ages so the likelihood of it happening is low and he would be back in plenty of time anyway. I just think thats a huge risk. Thanks for the support though - I was beginning to think that I was being unreasonable.

OP posts:
MrsPCR · 26/08/2017 21:15

Didn't realise I was in labour at 37+3. Waters broke 11pm. Baby born by EMCS at 2am.....

Potentially he may have had some warning about 2pm when my plug went....

Mrskeats · 26/08/2017 21:17

My first baby was a week early
He needs to come home obvs

Batteriesallgone · 26/08/2017 21:20

My DH has done similar more than once, although always work trips, not jollies.

The likelihood of you going into labour is pretty low to be fair, cant remember stats off the top of my head but 39-41 weeks is by far the most likely period.

I would say no to this though. He's having a fun time while you're heavily pregnant with his child. That's pretty selfish. I would expect him to want to be home with me not away. Certainly my DH hates being away whenever I'm pregnant but especially hated leaving me towards the end.

Neolara · 26/08/2017 21:21

Dc1 arrived 2 and a half weeks early. 4 hi urs start to finish. My dh was due to go on a stag do 2 days later. If it had happened then, he would never have got back in time.

KeepCalm · 26/08/2017 22:42

Regardless of when HE thinks first time babies arrive  YOU'RE not happy or comfortable with the situation and that is reason enough.

Straight home Mr @millie82

newmumwithquestions · 26/08/2017 22:50

I was late. Went in for a sweep but couldn't have one as my cervix was posterior. Braced myself for induction booked for 4 few days later.

Went into labour at 1am the following day. DD was born by 8am.

Not only that but my contractions started at over a minute long and less than 3 minutes apart (I basically had up to 45 seconds between them). There is no way I could have got myself anywhere.... how is he thinking you would get yourself to hospital?

kittybiscuits · 26/08/2017 22:52

When I was as pregnant as you with first baby, I was in labour. He should not be asking you this.

PurpleTraitor · 26/08/2017 22:58

My DH was 1 hour 30 minutes away when I went into labour with my first baby, he did not make it back in time. Well, technically he did in that he managed to be just coming into the house as the baby was born but I'd have liked him a bit before that.

boopdoop · 26/08/2017 23:06

My DH travels for work, he works in events so if he's working he's away. For DS1 we agreed no overseas travel for 8 weeks before and he stopped working at 37 weeks. Though that was partly because he wouldn't be able to just walk off an event if I went into labour ("sorry, no lights tonight for your huge concert/conference" wouldn't really work!!).

No way would I have been ok for him to be abroad at 38 weeks, especially for a social thing. He wouldn't have gone at all, and wouldn't have wanted to himself.

Turned out I was induced at 40+12, so we had a long 5 weeks of doing nothing, but two of my cousins had babies at 36 weeks so we wouldn't have risked it.

Will probably do similar this time round.

OrangeJulius · 26/08/2017 23:14

One of DHs old friends is getting married when I'm 38 weeks. DH isn't attending because it's too far away. It was never even a question. Seriously, your DH should come home.

BTW things changed towards the end of my pregnancy and I was suddenly induced due to medical reasons at 38+5 with my first. It was very stressful, wouldn't want an absent DH on top of that.

newbie85 · 27/08/2017 20:31

Does your DH understand that you are full term from 37 weeks and that you could give birth very fast if your waters break before any other signs appear? My waters broke at 37+5 and I had a baby 7 hours later. I dont recall the mmidwife being all that surprised with either how early or fast I was.

I'm shocked that he is even in another country at this stage, never mind that he wants to stay longer.

Katurah · 28/08/2017 02:19

My baby was born in 20 minutes on Wednesday following an induction at 38 weeks. My husband was meant to be in Belfast on business and only cancelled the trip 4 hours before I was induced!

Amee1992x · 28/08/2017 03:03

Had my DS at 38+1, waters broke around 2am he was here by 9:22am.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 28/08/2017 03:08

DH was traveling to Europe a lot when I was pg, we agreed no overnight trips from 36 weeks. He wouldn't have felt comfortable being so far away if I went into labour. As it was with both DC 1 and 2 I went to 40 weeks plus a couple of days.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/08/2017 03:11

I would be very annoyed that my DH was this blasé to be honest.

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