Being pregnant & single

[mummaGG]

Just wondering what people's thoughts are on being single while pregnant and going into parenthood.

I'm 27 weeks and I've been trying to hold an awful relationship together for a long time for the sake of a family, but enough is enough. Anyone got any advise? Really worried and would be nice to hear if other woman share the same experience.

Xx

I did it. I remember going to my first ante-natal class and being the only singleton there. It was awful. People feeling sorry for me.

I remember people telling me how hard it would be, that kids need a mother and a father.

People telling me that a boy would be more likely to be delinquent without his father.

I wish I could go back and sue all those people for the unnecessary stress they caused me.

Being a single mum is so much better. No relationship is better than a crap relationship.

It's going to be you and your kid and it's a beautiful relationship just the two of you.

So don't worry. You will be 100% fine

I have lots of family which is great and in the long run like you say no relationship is better than a rubbish one. The main thing is that I create a good atmosphere & environment before my little girl is born.

Thanks for posting back, I'm aware that there is sooooo many single mums but it's just reassuring to physically hear it from others. I think some people are judgmental, I should care less about other people think.

Thank you x

While I'm not a single parent, I am the child of parents who were deeply unhappy together. It was a very unhappy home life. I wish they'd broken up rather than stuck it out for years "for the kids".

I respect single parents. It can't be easy going it alone. I may be guilty of feeling sorry for single parents for not getting much time off, but I'd feel they're in a much better situation than those with crappy partners.

I think you know what you need to do, even though it feels like the more difficult path right now. Good luck. x

I was. I survived the pregnancy, which was the most emotionally stressful part. And then I thrived. You can do it. There are disadvantages but there are also advantages. As the poster above said, it's definitely easier and happier than doing it all in a bad relationship.

With all this going on and being pregnant it just leads to me being an emotional mess haha.

Thanks for the advise guys, appreciate it. I definitely agree though my baby would rather a happy home than an unhappy one so need to do what's best for her.

As soon as she's born I can tell it'll be easier but being pregnant/worried/paranoid/emotional with no support from your partner is difficult x

I was a single mum for 13yrs. I was a teenager when I fell pregnant. I stayed with my parents till dd was 3 I was 18. It was hard BUT it also was the making of me. I got a job when she went to school. My confidence grew and looked back we were really happy just the 2 of us. Her dad was never involved in her life.
Good luck not that you'll need it

I'm single and 8 weeks pregnant. I'm more worried about the affordability of everything alongside the emotional aspect of going through this alone.

I became single when my DD was 11 weeks old, it was a relief and it pushed me to be the best parent I could. My DD is a wonderful, funny and caring little girl and I couldn't be prouder!

I did it - was alone from the start really.

Pregnancy was hard emotionally, as I wanted someone to share it with, but I am now considering another (on my own via IVF this time) and it would be a completely different experience as I am so much more positive this time. So I think a lot depends on how you approach it yourself.

Early stages were also quite tough, but that is mostly just not having anyone to share the night waking / share of holding the baby with. If you have a good support system or a crap partner then you wouldn't have this problem anyway!

Ds is 5 now, I was told he would need therapy when he was older and would be dysfunctional. He is no where near these things! He is bright, happy and a delight to be around.

I found from 2 onwards a pleasure, before that I must admit it was tough - but I wouldn't change things for the world now, and as I said, I am considering doing it again.

Sometimes, although something might be more work, it's much less stress.

My sister did it, because it was the best thing for the baby and herself. She just told us her decision and said it strongly with her mind made up, and I think that helped a bit. If she had obviously been less sure of herself, she probably would have faced rubbish comments or not so helpful suggestions. Somebody always thinks they know better.
Stay firm in your decision. Don't let anybody else who isn't raising your child try and tell you what "should" be happening or how a home "should" be.

Just know though, that you will get judgment regardless. Literally any decision a parent makes, you'll have people agreeing and other people judging. If you stay with this man, one group of people will judge, if you leave, another group of people will judge.
So don't worry about other people too much, because there's nothing you can do that all of the people will agree with.

If he is rubbish, you wouldn't have had great support from him anyway, so would have been doing basically single parenting, just with a guy in the background.

There are pros to single parenting too btw. Loads. You get to decide what happens, you make all the household decisions and don't have to consider a partner, you decide what nursery/school the child goes to, you decide how the child will be raised at home, you decide what you want to do every day etc. Ask any single parent, it might be difficult at times, but there are still pros to it. Both have pros and cons, like anything really.

Just stick firm to your decision and keep supportive family and friends round.