Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

I cannot lose this baby!!!

46 replies

Monkeysox7 · 23/08/2017 02:39

Hi everyone this is my first post here. I have been trying to conceive for 3 years am am now 8 weeks pregnant? . I started to bleed on Sunday evening some light spotting. I went to EPU on Monday and had a trans vaginal scan. The sonographer could see the sac and a tiny fetus 2mm so it means I am either less than I thought and am only 6wks pg or the fetus stopped developing at 6 weeks. I have to wait 7 days for another scan. Since the scan the bleeding has gotten heavier with clots. I don't know if I'm imagining it but my boobs didn't hurt this morning like every day. I am trying to remain positive but I'm truly terrified of this whole thing. I'm 44 and a first time mummy and have been deliriously happy for 3 weeks. Now I just want to hibernate and isolate. I'm reaching out here for advice and support to try to keep from listening to my own worries. thanks for listening x

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MadameJosephine · 24/08/2017 10:57

So sorry you're going through this OP. I sadly had a miscarriage at 41 after 5 years of treatment and tests. I remember vividly going to the toilet and seeing blood and my heart sinking, such a horrible feeling.

Just wanted to give you a ray of hope though, although I did lose that baby I became pregnant again within a couple of weeks with my fabulous DD who will be starting reception next week.

Don't give up hope

BringMeTea123 · 24/08/2017 14:32

Thinking of you OP hope everything goes ok and that the bleeding stops. So sorry for others that have experienced pregnancy loss x

Jadebee1 · 24/08/2017 23:14

Sending all the luck in the world

Original poster

Monkeysox7 · 24/08/2017 23:38

Scan today confirmed miscarriage. I can't speak I'm devastated I have to go for the other scan Monday I will come back to you all then. I am truly grateful to u all xx

OP posts:

AnneGrommit · 24/08/2017 23:47

Oh you poor love. I'm so sorry. It's a hard hard grief. Do whatever you need to get through it. You are in my thoughts.

Pancakeflipper · 24/08/2017 23:50

Holding your hand. I am so sorry.

Sasmac2017 · 25/08/2017 00:38

Monkey sox - I am so sorry to hear your news. It's just heartbreaking. I went through the same last year so I do understand. Giving you a big hug through the net xxxx

orangeowls · 25/08/2017 00:52

So sorry xx

peachgreen · 25/08/2017 07:20

I'm so sorry Monkey. The miscarriage boards on here just about saved my life - do get support from wherever you can. Thinking of you.

MadameJosephine · 25/08/2017 07:37

I'm so sorry to hear your news monkey

Be kind to yourself

LittleWingSoul · 25/08/2017 10:58

Oh monkey, I am so sorry

Figgygal · 25/08/2017 11:01

Really sorry monkey
Take it easy

stillvicarinatutu · 26/08/2017 21:00

so sorry sweetheart. rest and take care xxx

Original poster

Monkeysox7 · 31/08/2017 00:14

It's taken me so long to be able to write here.after the scan on 24th I spent the day and night in complete devastation only to get up the next morning refusing to accept it. The scan on Monday showed no visible pregnancy at all and I was told it's a resolving pregnancy i.e. It will resolve itself no intervention needed. "Thank you and goodbye"
They did find a cyst on my ovary which they want to look at again in two weeks thankfully. I don't see how they can say everything is fine without looking again to check everything has come out,so I'm glad to be having the scan on my ovary for that reason. And WTH is a resolving pregnancy anyway? Google doesn't know.
Part of me is still in denial but I'm letting the pain in slowly little by little.

I'm sitting here because of each and everyone of you that commented on this thread. Each one of you held and supported me with your comments and gave me some of your own experiences,an intimate piece of yourselves you shared with a complete stranger to help me. I fear I would have lost my mind without you. I give you all my wholehearted thanks and gratitude xxxx

OP posts:

LittleWingSoul · 31/08/2017 00:23

Monkey I hope the scans come up all clear and to have you back on the pregnancy boards again soon. Wishing you all the best of luck, go easy on yourself.

Sasmac2017 · 31/08/2017 01:30

Hi monkey, you did the right thing in seeking support. I hope that you manage to get pregnant again when the time is right and get your special baby xx

twinkle1972 · 31/08/2017 10:30

Wasn't sure if to reply to this as... I'm 45 and currently 23 weeks pregnant. However, last year I had a miscarriage at nearly 7 weeks and like you, was devastated. Thought I had lost my last chance and almost gave up. Then a few months later I got a positive test. Yes it has been a worrying time again but things are looking promising and hopefully you will get your rainbow baby too. Lots of love x

Callamia · 31/08/2017 10:41

Hello monkeysox, I'm so sorry that this was the outcome.

I also had a miscarriage last year at 12 weeks, and it also 'resolved' itself - no need for intervention, which was a good thing at least.

I'm now sitting here with a five week old. I got pregnant again about six months later. The time after the miscarriage was hard; I just felt like nothing was terribly important, and that everyone expected life to just carry on as usual. I was very angry. Be kind to yourself, and find friends who have experienced this too. I found a good many.

I wish you all the very best.

AnneGrommit · 31/08/2017 19:10

Monkeysox I get why you feel something else should happen to put an end to this - I felt the same way. But having also been through a surgical procedure after miscarriage tbh it still didn't give me the resolution I craved and of course it brought its own issues. I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I can't make it better but if you imagine us standing with you, knowing those dreadful feelings because they are ours as well, then I hope you realise that although you've never felt so bereft you are not alone. Xx

Original poster

Monkeysox7 · 01/09/2017 01:38

Today for the first time,I write without tears. I have hope for the future and I know I can survive this ordeal. I know the sadness is ok and that its ok to grieve such an early loss. I don't have to question myself if I'm crazy for being so upset.
The ladies who are pregnant and/or have children gives me so much hope I'm glad you posted.
I have really great friends but I couldn't face them recently, all of you have been my scaffolding being warm and gentle and holding me up.
Thank you so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️

OP posts:

peachgreen · 01/09/2017 07:53

@Monkeysox7 If / when you're ready to think about trying again, the ladies on the Trying to conceive after miscarriage thread on the Conception board are the most wonderful group of women you could imagine. I swear they kept me sane through my MMC and difficulties conceiving subsequently. I'm so glad you're feeling a little better today - be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to, your feelings are all valid.

Flip

1 2