Scared :-(

[outnumbered4]

I'm 33 weeks pregnant with my 5th baby and have had 4 previous c sections (2 with complications)

I was told I wouldn't be able to have any more children so this pregnancy was a huge shock. I've been feeling ropey about everything getting anxious at times and feeling eerily calm at others if you know what I mean, I've been trying to keep hidden the fear of something going wrong.

I've just spent the last weekend in hospital due to mild contractions and pain around my scars (no changes to the cervix) so was given steroid injections and told to rest as obviously labour will be a disaster and I will need an emergency section immediately. I'm at home now and struggling to keep on top of my anxiety, my scars keep hurting a lot which is panicking me. I'm also being monitored for preeclampsia due to having it in all pregnancies and bp starting to mess around the last couple of weeks.

I'm really scared now starting to feel really low and struggling with the dcs (2 with SN) Their dad has decided to be almost useless this time as well so I'm just on my own most of the time and scared of what will happen if I'm on my own with the dcs and something goes wrong. Can anyone reassure me that I'm just overwhelmed and everything will be ok

Hi OP,

Sorry you didn't get any replies - how are you today? I hope you're hanging in there and being reassured by your doctors

Thank you for replying I feel a bit silly for posting. I am due to be in hospital first thing, don't feel like going I just want to stay at home.

Sleep would probably help but between needing to wee every half an hour, heartburn and now a blinding headache that's woken me up I think I might as well give up on that! Thank you again for replying

This all sounds rotten. Is the headache PE-related? Do you need to go to hospital sooner than the morning?

I hope all of these worries are resolvable. I had terrible anxiety during my first pregnancy (for no actual reason), and it was relentless, so you have all of my sympathy. Being tired made it all so much worse too. Please rest as much as you can - even if you're awake. I found a glass of milk and doing very slow yoga breathing was actually helpful in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep for worry.

Hope things go well in the morning.

Thank you, I want to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy I really do but I just feel so low and anxious. I keep crying all the time it's so silly i know I need to get a grip.

I will be leaving for the hospital soon I'm torn between hoping everything is stable so she can stay inside for longer and wanting them to just get her out so I know she's ok and I can recover from it all.

Thanks for the support I really appreciate it.

Don't be so hard on yourself OP. You're not being silly at all. It sounds as though you're going through a very stressful time & you're allowed to be upset. I hope everything goes ok for you at the hospital today. have you told your midwife how you're feeling? It may be useful for them to know to make sure you have the support in place if you're still feeling overwhelmed when the baby arrives.

Keep us posted on how you get on today.

No I haven't, i haven't told anyone in real life I don't want to admit I'm struggling. I feel so guilty for my older children that I'm letting them down because I feel rotten and can't do the things with them I want to do. And the constant crying isn't fair on them either.

Thank you again hopefully I will feel better once I've been checked over again and the baby has been checked, I can feel her moving all the time but still can't shake this feeling that something will be wrong it's so silly i know I'm usually so rational and positive about everything I'm annoying myself with this negative attitude but I don't seem to be able to shake it off.

Good luck today.
I hope things seem much more manageable.

OP. Sounds like a really tough time. The pregnancy itself is stressful let alone having 4 other DC's to look after.

Can you speak to tour OH and explain how anxious you are and get him to shape up a bit? Maybe he could get more involved with the other kids so you can rest up?

Hope all goes well today xx

I hope your doing okay :(
You don't sound like your having any fun with this at all.
Good luck at the hospital.
Then get yourself home and in bed with a pint of freezing cold milk and a hot water bottle for any aches.. xxx

So 5 and a half hours in and I've been admitted again not even to the antenatal ward but a medical unit next to A&e something to do with my heart. So far I've had a chest x ray, scan on my legs for clots, 2 ecgs both abnormal and they're just about to do the blood gases test from my wrist

Oh honey :(
Keep your head up and stay positive. Everything will be fine! xxx
Keep us updated.

Oh no hopefully they'll get to the bottom of things soon. Do you have someone looking after your other children for you? From what you say, you sound like a wonderful caring mummy & I doubt your children would agree with you that you're letting them down! It shows how caring you are that you're unwell & still focused on your children & your main worry is how it's impacting them.

It sounds as though you've done a wonderful job this far on your own but it might be time to open up to the midwife and ask for some additional support while you're going through this rough patch.

Keep us posted on how you're getting on today.

You are in the right place. I hope that you are being well looked after and all is well with both you and your DD.

They suspect a blood clot in my lung and I have to have a vq scan (I think that's what they called it) first thing tomorrow. They've given me a blood thinning injection and I've discharged myself for the night as there was no one to stay with the kids.

I'm feeling even more anxious now as they made a fuss about me having an out of hospital cardiac arrest if I went home! I know rationally this is unlikely but it's stuck in my head now

Thank you everyone

Goodness Outnumbered you are in the wars bless you I'm so sorry you're not getting enough RL support from your partner too.

Hope you're managing to take a bit of time for yourself when the kids are in bed, it really sounds like you need so comfort and rest for your health, both physical and mental.

Are you able to explain to anyone (OH, parents, etc) that you shouldn't really be out of hospital and arrange childcare for tomorrow? My heart goes out to you, I'm 29 weeks and I know how uncomfortable it is even with out all the extra things you need to be aware of. Lots of and to you

Sorry just to clarify I mean so you can definitely stay in hospital tomorrow if you need to!

My mum is coming round first thing to stay with them so I don't have to worry about that luckily.

Hopefully it will turn out to be a false alarm tomorrow, I definitely wasn't expecting this today. Luckily baby has coped well with everything that has happened so far, there was some concern about her heart rate being too high earlier but they got a reassuring ctg in the end thank goodness.

I've always been really healthy up until this last few months and genuinely never worried about my health. And now I'm a nervous wreck who appears to be completely falling apart!

I really do appreciate all the support it makes such a difference

How are you doing op?

I haven't long been home, I don't have a blood clot which is great news. It seems to be pancreas/gallbladder related again judging by changes in my blood tests, although nothing too major at this point just an off liver function result and high infection markers.

Hopefully it will settle down quickly and not progress again!