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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Guilt

3 replies

Countryspringer22 · 21/08/2017 12:46

I'm 27 years old and I'm 11 weeks pregnant. my husband and I decided to try for children straight after we got married. We were both aware that it doesn't always happen as easy as ppl seem to think and was aware that it could take up to a year- however we were lucky and we are having a honeymoon baby.
I am extremely happy though I still feel a bit disconnected as I haven't had a scan yet etc and I know that it will come with time after I get a proper bump and don't just feel fat but I'm struggling with an emotion I didn't think I would- guilt.
The only way I can described it is like survivors guilt I guess. I have a few friends that have been trying for children for a long time- my best friend has been trying for almost 2 years. I know they are happy for me but I can't help but feel so guilty that everything so far (fingers crossed) has gone so well and they have struggled with conception and miscarriage.
They are so happy for me but I feel I don't want to talk about my pregnancy scared that I don't want to rub it in their face- not that I think they think that- I don't know I just don't know how to stop this feeling! I want to enjoy my pregnancy not be scared to talk about it Anyone got any advice? X

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
LS83 · 21/08/2017 16:45

I don't really have any advice but just wanted to empathise with you as I could have written this! I'm 9+4 with a honeymoon baby after literally a week of trying. A family member has been trying for 3+ years with no luck and I feel so guilty that it's happened so quickly for me too. I've not told her yet and i'm dreading it for the above reasons!

InThisTogether · 22/08/2017 00:35

The very fact that you feel like this indicates that you care and understand the difficulty your friends and family have gone through and that speaks volumes about you.
Dh and I were ttc nearly 4 years (currently 25 weeks pg with DS!) and we never begrudged our early-catching friends as they all took time to ask us how we were doing and didn't gloat.
Good friends will just be happy for you. Congrats OP x x

InThisTogether · 22/08/2017 00:38

Might just be worth mentioning that the general consensus on the site for telling people your news who have been ttc for a while is that text / email/ message (i.e not face to face) is best as it gives them a chance to get their feelings together and then speak to you in their own time. I certainly appreciated this from friends of ours. X x

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