You know you're due when...

[SellMySoulForSomeSleep]

Every phone call I make to my DH starts with "I'm not in labour"

Cleaning is my new obsession

I'm actually thinking about sex for the first time in months.

I apologise for the lack of full stops. My paragraphs don't seem to work on the app.

I've had my baby now but;

DP phoned me on average of once an hour.

I gave up wearing clothes and stuck to pj's.

We're on first name terms with the local delivero guy.

The baby doesn't come 😬

It feels like it's never going to come PP.

.... the only shoes that fit are slippers or flip flops.

You have to as DH to help you roll over in the night.

You contemplate taking a pillow into the bathroom so you can nap and pee at the same time.

*ask

You Pee every time you move

You can't sigh, moan or frown without sending DH or DM into a panic...

The productive cleaning and preparing phase you had a week ago has well and truly gone and you struggle to move from the couch (unless it's to the toilet or the fridge)...

You idly think about eating lots of pineapple and curry, drinking raspberry leaf tea, going on long walks, scrubbing the kitchen floor and having sex - then realise that you really can't be bothered doing any of it...

The only thing scarier than pushing the baby out of your fanjo is not pushing the baby out of your fanjo. Maybe you are doomed to be pregnant FOREVER.

You drop something on the floor and it stays there for about a week. Bending down is just not worth it any more.

You give into the spicy food cravings. Six hours, no sleep, and much antacid later, you regret it with all your heart and soul. The next time you do it all over again.

Almost 38 weeks here... with number 4. I know I'm mad.

I spent the last month of my last pregnancy laying in bed as it was the only way I could be comfortable. Baby was huge and filled every mm of space in my torso haha

I'm only 31 weeks and I feel like all of the above already!

Love these!

You're irrationally angry with anyone who actually has had their baby

@KarmaNoMore
Omg hahahahaha that's absolutely brilliant 😂😂😂

Karma that is amazing.

Karma that is amazing.

Karma I vacuum the back garden but in my defence I have astroturf....my DH still looks at me like a crazy lady when I do it though