22 weeks pregnant anxious about stillbirth

Sophyg541 · 2017-08-15T15:49:25+00:00

Hi Everyone, I am 28 weeks pregnant and freaking out about something going wrong, and its getting worse instead of better as my pregnancy progresses. My first pregnancy was smooth and I have a three year old son, and then went on to have a MMC at 10 weeks. This hit me pretty bad and took medication for PND which was fairly horrific. I guess I cant let go of that and just cant see this pregnancy ending happily. Everyone keeps talking about 'when the baby gets here' and I want to scream, IF he gets here! I know some anxieties are normal but I feel this is going beyond that. Does anyone out there feel like this? Thanks! XX

ShowPineapple · 15/08/2017 17:02

I felt like this all through pregnancy and used to preface any conversation with my dh about the future with saying "IF the baby arrives safely. . . ". I think I was genuinely in shock when my dd was born and was crying loudly and absolutely fine as I hadn't allowed myself to look forward to it. Now it seems a shame I couldn't enjoy it and look forward to baby coming but it feels like there's so many unknowns at the time. Obviously life has no guarantees but your baby is very very very likely to be doing brilliantly and is going to be happy and healthy. I wish I'd managed to worry less when I was pregnant as it didn't get me anywhere and probably made me more tired and stressed. I didn't even tell the midwives I was feeling anxious and looking back I think they would have been supportive and put my mind at ease. Have you spoken to your midwife about your worries? Have you felt any baby movement yet?

ShowPineapple · 15/08/2017 17:02

I felt like this all through pregnancy and used to preface any conversation with my dh about the future with saying "IF the baby arrives safely. . . ". I think I was genuinely in shock when my dd was born and was crying loudly and absolutely fine as I hadn't allowed myself to look forward to it. Now it seems a shame I couldn't enjoy it and look forward to baby coming but it feels like there's so many unknowns at the time. Obviously life has no guarantees but your baby is very very very likely to be doing brilliantly and is going to be happy and healthy. I wish I'd managed to worry less when I was pregnant as it didn't get me anywhere and probably made me more tired and stressed. I didn't even tell the midwives I was feeling anxious and looking back I think they would have been supportive and put my mind at ease. Have you spoken to your midwife about your worries? Have you felt any baby movement yet?

ShowPineapple · 15/08/2017 17:03

Oops sorry for double post!

clarebear1983 · 15/08/2017 18:26

I was exactly the same during my first pregnancy, I literally couldn't think about actually holding him etc as I was convinced I'd never get that far. My anxiety manisfested in strange ways and I'd even go so far as to delete pregnancy apps before scans and all kinds of strange things like that in case it jinxed it (I was full on crazy). If was my favourite word. I'd obsess over everything, stay up all night googling still birth stats and was not ever able to relax.

This time round I'm calmer in some ways as I know a bit more about what to expect but still lose the plot over really minor things. My midwife is keen to refer me to the mental health team but i think I'm coping better than last time so far.

I don't really have any advice, just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.

Sassyg541 · 16/08/2017 10:18

Thanks Both, I think thats what I am after, just to know I am not alone in my fears and thats its normal. I try and talk to my husband and get more annoyed when he just says 'it will be fine!'!! Showpinapple, I am exactly the same, my phrase is 'all being well'. Thats great advice about trying to enjoy it - I have taken some positive steps this week and so far have looked at new buggy and changing tables to buy! I thought preparing might make me feel anxious but actually its made me feel more positive and happy :)

My little boy keeps saying I'm so excited to be a big brother and instead of change the conversation, I am trying to embrace that too. I've also booked monthly private scans at the FMC, which gives me goalposts.

xxx