Requesting a different midwife

[DefinitelyMaybeBaby]

Hi all,

I've just found out I'm pregnant with number 2, during my first pregnancy I had the community midwife allocated to my local gp surgery (there is only one) and I really didn't like her. There's not one specific thing I could pick out but her general attitude was of someone who couldn't be bothered, had done the job too long, seen it all, knew it all and wasn't very interested. She was blunt and sometimes quite rude, e.g. I told her early on I had starting getting spots in my vision since becoming pregnant and she almost snorted and said "we'll go to an optician, just because you're pregnant everything doesn't become the midwife's issue, if you had toothache you'd go to the dentist if you have an eye problem go to the optician". My "birth plan" session was 10 minutes of her telling me what would happen with very little choice. I found her belittling and rude and didn't enjoy my appointments at all.

So I've just called the GP, told them I'm pregnant, they confirmed it is still the same midwife there and so I asked if there is an option to see a different midwife. I'd happily travel to another local surgery. The receptionist said they need to get the original midwife to call me and discuss my concerns then only she can decide if I get a referral elsewhere.

I'm already dreading it. I hate confrontation and know I will just back down in a difficult conversation and I'm going to end up seeing her again this time and it will be 100 times worse than last time!! Aah

Has anyone successfully asked to change midwife? Does anyone know if I have a right to see someone else if I want to or is it really her decision?

Eek at having to explain why you dislike her.
Both my midwives were the same as you've described. The 2nd time I just told myself to remain upbeat even when it felt like she was zapping any happiness out of me.
I'm inclined to say just stick it out and dont bother having the confrontation especially if shes likely to be worse afterwards (IMO some people cant handle been professional even though that swings both ways). But honestly if you really feel that strongly then the confrontation is necessary.
Good luck OP

:o she sounds awful!! I wonder if it's the first complaint they've had about her? I think it's really important that your able to
Have a connection with your midwife. The ones that iv come across and spoken to on the phone so far have all been so helpful and kind. My regular midwife is very approachable and helpful and always goes the extra length. I personally would voice my concerns to her and tell her why
You didn't feel comfortable last time because of her attitude and I would be tempted to change. It's a very important time and you don't want to feel like a nuisance for asking a question or voicing your concerns about your pregnancy! Good luck and I hope something gets done :))

I don't know if it is the same where you are as it differs by trust but where I am (west yorks) there is a central midwife services number. It might be worth ringing your local delivery suite/MAC unit and seeing if you can get a similar contact number and contracting them for help/advice. I couldn't get an appointment with my midwife from 37 weeks as she was booked up for a month I rang the number and they switched me to another midwife at a different surgery with no issues so it should be possible

I changed to a different surgery when I had my second to make sure I didn't get the same grumpy midwife! The GP was also terrible, so I would have changed surgery eventually, but having a different MW was definitely a good motivation. My new midwife was lovely, am so glad I did switch because it made such a difference.

You shouldnt have to speak to her to find a different midwife.
Try and speak to the senior midwife in charge of community midwifery and express your concerns. As PP said try going through labour ward or assessment unit (should be able to get those numbers online) as they will usually be able to point you in the right direction. Its a shame we no longer have supervisors of midwives as they were great people to contact about things like this. (Some trusts may still have them just in a different role)
I changed midwife in my last pregnancy - I had to travel to a local children's centre rather than my surgery but I didn't mind.
A lot of community midwives work in teams so it might be that you can get a different midwife in the same team.
It's important to feedback if you've got concern...as others have said you're probably not the only person to have concerns.

Surely if you change your gp surgery then you would have a different mw? Is changing surgerys an option?

Oh op, that sounds awful. My first community midwife (I moved during my pregnancy) wasn't brilliant, and the second was even worse (and don't get me started on the student midwife with him). But they weren't quite that bad.
I really hope you get it sorted out.

In our area we have a Supervisor of Midwives and I spoke to her when I needed to complain about my midwife. She arranged for me to move to a different one immediately.

You don't have to tell MW1 why you don't want to see her again. That's a crock of shit. Call the booking in department of the hospital you plan to deliver at and they can move you to another community team.

Change surgery that would be your best bet. Congratulations 🎊 on your pregnancy.

Call your maternity unit and ask to be put through to the community midwives office. You can usually arrange to go in for a booking appointment with somebody else.

Thanks for the advice everyone! I called the maternity unit at the hospital and they confirmed this was not the proper procedure from the GP practice. The team leader of community midwives is going to call me this week to discuss and sort something out.

Glad you got it sorted, I was about to post that the idea they could force you to speak to the midwife who had upset you was extremely unprofessional!

I reckon the GP practice know she's a bitch and try this tactic to put people off complaining / changing.

I'd complain to the GP surgery in writing about saying you would have to speak to her. Bizarre and not proper practice.

I reckon the GP practice know she's a bitch and try this tactic to put people off complaining / changing

This was my exact thought too.

Glad you're on your way to getting another Midwife, OP. What a shame though that the original one is so horrible, not what you want at all!