pregnant and i took an overdose......guilty scared

[unsure17]

so i dont know really where to start but please please dont judge me as no one knows my circumstances.
about a week ago i felt like that was it and i self harmed(cutting tops of my legs) and took an overdose i suffer with cptsd, depression and anxiety due to a serious assault that happened to me and not long ago was notified the man was seeking an appeal and had to regive video evidence to police which made me relapse in my mental wellbeing. i didnt seek medical help as other than throwing up all day and feeling groggy for a few days afterwards i seemed to be okay and the cuts are healing nicely. now yesterday i realised my period was late and i got a big fat positiv
im not sure if i feel happy, overwhelmed or just plain guilty. please note i wouldnt of ever taken the overdose had i known another life was inside of me, now to add complication to it i already have a little one who is 16months of age and i have social services involved theyve just placed lo on child protection due to emotional abuse and harassment from my ex husband when we seperated and my mental health being of concern ( they was meant to step out but then i ended up in refuge cos he just wouldnt leave us alone, yet again they was happy but then i had contact with ex couple months ago got kicked out of refuge for that reason and ended up having no where else to stay but his) anyway in these last couple months i have got a house done it up and garden and cut the contact from ex and also started to feel more stable in all aspects of my life but this has completley thrown me.
im so scared i have one harmed the baby and 2 what will happen with my mental health as last pregnancy i was made to come off my medication which ' rocked the boat abit' but circumstances were so much better last pregnancy and baby was planned and 3 im terrified of telling anyone that i am pregnant as the baby has got to be ex husbands as hes the only man i have slept with, im so scared and unsure what to do, how are social going to react and family and friends? what about the doctors and if i tell them i overdosed then they might want to take my lo and this baby away.....im in such a muddle i dont what to do.
im sorry its a long post but please dont judge me

Please talk to your midwife or health visitor.
No one will be judging, you have been through so much. Everyone should be helping

Do you want to keep your baby? You do have options

What did you overdose on?

it was about 25 ibuprofen, 12 paracetamol and 10 zapain i pretty much was sick all day until i was spewing blood so i think my body rejected the amount of tablets, i dont know weather i want to keep the baby and im terrified of making anyone aware that im pregnant cos the situation with social services at the moment :-(
i keep going to tell my sister and a close friend but end up deleting the message before sending, i just dont know what to do and feel iv no one to turn to. im scared my medication im on for mental health will also affect the baby as last time they made me come off it all due to risks to my little one but i dont want to stop it given how unstable iv been of late

Please talk to someone op
This is fpa

No one can (or should)tell you whether or not to continue with the pregnancy but please tell your child's social worker. The impact of the over dose on the baby will be unknown right now but you can start putting a proper support plan in place to support you and your child. You can make an informed decision and you won't have to feel alone. Be open and honest about your concerns and show that you want to keep going with all the fantastic progress you have made.

okay so i decided to make a few close family members aware, 1 ignored me, 1 is in support of keeping baby but is concerned about social services and 2 suggested having a termination due to my mental health not being fully stable right now and the situation with social.

i feel more lost and hurt now than i did before telling anyone im so confused, my sons social worker is also on annual leave for two weeks so cant discuss with her either as yet :'(

You need to seek appropriate help. You said in The last few months you've sorted yourself out and not seen your ex and yet you then say the baby is his. So you're not just a little bit pregnant by those dates you'd be 8/10? Weeks. Meaning that damage from the overdose could be significant.
Please seek medical advice and then speak to your SW.

i havent seen him since end of june when i got my house so id be minimum 6 weeks i think? im not good with working out dates and my periods have been all over previous 3 months so im really not sure

Agree. Mn will support you with whatever action you choose to talk but you need professional rl support at the moment x

Please speak to someone. Ibroprofen is particularly dangerous. Do not feel guilty, you've been through a lot but you must get help.

No one on this planet will know fully what is going on in your heart and in your mind! Some family may advice termination some might not you seriously need to sit and work out what is going to be best for you, your little one and this baby! You need to think with your own head and your own heart and f#ck what anybody else thinks, maybe speak to a counsellor and explain you need support and help the foundations for it are there you will get the support you need and if you feel like your strong enough to carry and love this baby you do what you think is right! You need to care less about other judgements and lookout for you and yours! Lots of love 💕💕

You need to speak with your gp or midwife. No one will judge you, they will just want to make sure that you are ok and if you continue the pregnancy the baby too. Please talk to someone ASAP x

Vomiting blood is not 'a sign the body is rejecting the tablets' it's more likely to be internal bleeding from an overdose of ibuprofen

Please seek medical advice and support, for your sake and your baby

I'm sat waiting to see the doctor now,I'm so scared and worried

:-( you must be so scared

Well done going to the doctor, that's a big step. I hope you get the support you need from them. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Hey unsure how did it go? You're being brave facing up to things and not sticking your head in the sand. Hope you are OK xx

After talking things through with doctor I'm continuing with the pregnancy he's taken me off my meds cos there dangerous for baby and put me on a low dose of fluxoetine and referred me to the specialist mental health team who will counsel and monitor me through out pregnancy xx

I really think you should consider how you are able to parent and keep safe the child you have already before considering bringing another child into the picture. I don't say that to be judgemental or unkind simply factual. You have had a terrible time and it is impacting on your ability to manage and parent your ds. Having another baby would definitely be detrimental to your resilience and could seriously impact your mental health. You have a baby already who needs your full attention and focus.

Sorry cross post
Good luck with your decision!

and I guess yr one of the lucky ones who breeze through life without any misfortune to happen to them, I find yr remarks extremely inconsiderate and judgemental considering u don't no full facts. .....
my son gets full attention and is extremely well looked after never once had a concern raised over my ability to parent him by any professional, social are there to support me but I guess with u not ever having the capability of understanding mental health u won't have the ability to grasp what's being said.......go troll someone else's post...here was me thinking mums net was full of parents for advice and support, silly me

Lovely there are many trolls on here but I don't think *adalind was meaning to be one. I'm sure your son is loved, well looked after and cherished as all people with good mums are. From what I read she just meant that as you're fragile enough to take an overdose you've got to think what's good for you and your boy. It's lovely that you are continuing your pregnancy and that you've got all the support you need being put in place to do it successfully. If you weren't a sting person and a lovely mum you wouldn't have bothered to do this. I'm sure you will be fine! If I were you I'd leave this thread and the negative start for you and start a new one where if you want support you can talk about the next 8 months positively and with a much happier out look. Lots and lots of good luck to you, you sound like you've got it all in hand and will be fine!

Of course I'm not a troll.