To cancel Doula?

[Chloris33]

This is my 2nd birth. Found 1st one quite traumatic, and I have been through a major bereavement recently in this pregnancy which left me feeling in need of extra support around the birth of this child. So, I decided hiring a doula could be positive for us, even though we are not rich and the expense is really big for us. I found someone (who is also a retired midwife) whom several mums I know have raved about, telling me I'm lucky to have her.

But... she has cancelled on me twice now for our antenatal meeting. I'm yet to have the two antenatal meetings she offers as part of her (mega expensive) package, and I am now only a week away from my due date. She just cancelled the (rearranged) meeting again today. She emailed (not phoned) to cancel and say it's unavoidable, not giving a reason why she is cancelling again. I understand that sometimes there are unavoidable cancellations but the fact that it has happened twice is making me feel uneasy, particularly as I hired her to help me feel a bit more supported/secure at this time. So I'm torn as to whether to go ahead with her, or just to call it quits. Thoughts?

Can you still get a refund? Check the terms carefully.

Also can you still find anybody else?

I'd cancel. Sounds like she's overbooked herself with clients. Who's to say she'd be available for your birth?

I'm sorry to read about your bereavement and traumatic first birth.
I would cancel her immediately and without hesitation - this time should be as stress free as possible for you and she is adding to it, for a cost! Bad form on her part.
That said, have you paid anything yet?

No haven't paid yet, or signed anything, so I could just cancel.

I think you are totally reasonable to. It sounds like she hasn't actually provided any services yet?

Hopefully it will also make her think a bit about customer service and how to approach the situation in future!

Yes. She did come out for an initial consultation, which she offers free before clients choose whether to go for it or not. I did find that meeting helpful as we talked quite a lot about my first birth. But otherwise, no, she hasn't provided anything from the package yet.

The only other thing to consider is how do you feel about not having her at the birth? Would you have someone with you who could be outspoken about your needs etc if needed?

On the plus side though, it will save you a lot of money for your child's future :) which isn't to say I don't think hiring a good doula is a good investment because it is, we aren't rich either but I would spend whatever we could to help make sure all was ok in pregnancy, but if you aren't left feeling secure then it's suddenly not such a great investment!

Definitely cancel. Sounds like she might not even make your birth at this rate and I can't see why she would be any more help than a regular NHS midwife considering you don't have any kind of relationship with her!

I'd cancel her because you can't guarantee she will turn up when you're in labour.

Then either find another one pronto or don't bother.

I'd cancel if it were me - I definitely wouldn't want that sort of uncertainty hanging over myself. Sorry you've had such an awful time

Thanks all, I've just emailed her to cancel. Feeling a bit gutted, but not prepared to spend that sort of money if I can't depend on her commitment.

Think that's the best choice. Hope the birth goes well.