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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Discharge from hospital

12 replies

gavalaa · 12/08/2017 21:15

I am due my second baby very soon, and will be giving birth in a MLU at hospital.

I've just been thinking about leaving hospital, and once the all clear has been given how much of a right do you have to insist on leaving?

Last time, I was in for 3 days post birth due to some minor complications with the baby and they also wanted to monitor me after a tricky delivery.

On the day we went home, the baby was given the all clear to go home at 10am by a paediatrician. I had been given the all clear the afternoon before.

We were kept there for a further 8 hours (left hospital around 6pm) as the midwife in charge wouldn't allow the time to organise the paperwork to complete our discharge. She said it was too busy and we would have to wait. We asked several midwives during that time who all seemed happy and willing to do it, then came back and said their senior had said no.

We sat on the bed, belongings packed, ready to leave. Once the baby had been checked my husband brought the car seat and took the majority of our things to the car. He was told to go and get them back when we asked how long we might be waiting to be discharged, as we had used our last nappy in the bag we kept with us.

I was worn out from having next to no sleep for days (long labour, general hospital noise, snoring patients, caring for my own baby). I felt grubby from only being able to grab very quick showers in shared toilets/bathrooms. I just longed to go home, have a bath, a decent meal and get settled for our first night at home.

Looking back I wonder whether I should have spoken up a bit more, instead i sat for hours getting silently wound up and tearful. The annoying thing was when we finally were discharged it was a relatively quick process, couple of forms to go through, red book, and we were ok to leave. (I know they would have had to organise this beforehand, but it was only 5 minutes max spent sat 'discharging' us).

It might have just been a particularly busy period and I was unlucky to be caught up in it, but it seems crazy to hold up a bed for so long?! I was actually kept in recovery for hours longer than necessary after birth as they were waiting for a bed to come free on the postnatal ward!

Has anyone else experienced this, and would you be more assertive about going home? I'm not wishing to be rude or anything, the staff are obviously amazing and do a fab job.

I don't want to deal with that kind of unnecessary wait again, my husband has very limited time off work this time, and we have a young child at home that we will be wanting to get back to! We wasted a whole day sat around.

I guess I'm just wondering how much right they have to hold you there once you are both deemed fit to leave?!

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annlee3817 · 12/08/2017 21:18

As soon as we had seen the paediatric midwife we were allowed to go, don't think we had to wait for further sign off. I could have gone home within a few hours of the birth but decided to stay the first night for help with breastfeeding. Friends of mine went when they wanted to and came back the following day for the paediatric check.

missmapp · 12/08/2017 21:24

I had ds2 at nine at night and was kept overnight purely because of the time of delivery. I had a similar experience to you with ds1 so was more assertive and kept asking to be discharged. In the end I left early the next morning. However, I wish I hadnt been so keen. Life at home with a 2 year old and a newborn was hectic and I missed time staring at my new baby. By all means by more assertive and get a quicker discharge but remember that being at home with two is different to your first baby so bring in hospital with just you and your new baby might not be as terrible as you think. Hope that makes sense.

Fernanie · 12/08/2017 21:27

They're not allowed to keep you there if you want to leave. If you want to leave, tell them you're self discharging.
(But also, what missmapp said.)

twoheaped · 12/08/2017 21:28

Dd1 was born at 10:20, I left at 16:30.
I think as a pp has said, if baby born after a certain time then an overnight stay is unavoidable.

gavalaa · 12/08/2017 21:28

Suppose hospitals with have different procedures...

Just wondering really can they make us stay, or if I say I want to leave in a reasonable time and am not willing to hang around for hours on end, do they have to remove baby's security tags let us go.

I am prepared for a more hectic home life, a newborn and a preschooler aren't going to be an easy ride Grin the hospital stay last time wasn't pleasant though so I will definitely be happy to get home once we are both ok!

OP posts:
DancingLedge · 12/08/2017 21:29

They can't make you stay.
If you don't need further treatment or medication from a hospital , just leave.

I can see why, if the staff are busy treating people, and dealing with things with a higher medical priority, they can't put your discharge paperwork first.
But once baby's been cleared by a doctor, if needed, no one can make you stay. Just tell them you have to leave now. You're not a prisoner.

gavalaa · 12/08/2017 21:30

Oh of course, I don't mind staying for any time necessary, an overnight or further monitoring.

It's just frustrating to be told you are both fit to leave, but not for another 8 hours because someone needs to organise and sign some papers!

OP posts:
ElizabethShaw · 12/08/2017 21:36

Ultimately of course you are free to leave whenever you want. I had a similar issue with my second, we didn't really want/need to be on the postnatal ward at all but they didn't have anyone available to discharge us. I felt for the staff and didn't want to make their lives more difficult but I wanted to get home to dc1, my own bed and a clean shower!

Eventually we did just pack everything up and say we were leaving. The community midwife could do the baby check the next day. When I said DH was taking the baby out to the car and if they wanted to do any paperwork with me it was now or never they did manage to find someone to discharge me. However they were a bit shirty about DH leaving the ward with the baby on his own.

I have in my birth plan this time that I want an early discharge and not to go to the pn ward at all if possible.

gavalaa · 12/08/2017 21:39

However they were a bit shirty about DH leaving the ward with the baby on his own.

I I felt like although I was an adult, and the baby was mine, I was being kept in against my wishes and they wouldn't 'allow' me to leave with the baby without their say so.

I agree, really don't want to make things difficult, but i do feel the need to be more assertive this time if needs be.

OP posts:
60percentbanana · 12/08/2017 22:15

I was in for five days with my first (due to epidural and blood pressure issues mostly), then four hours with second (gave birth on antenatal ward so didn't even make it to delivery let alone postnatal - I was sat on the bed suitcase packed to go three hours after the birth). Third was a homebirth so was bathed and cosy in my own bed and midwives gone about two hours after the birth. Fourth was 14 hours despite being a mlu with a six hour discharge policy.

I'm thinking the fifth will be a home birth again, partly for this reason.

tequilaitmakesmehapppy · 13/08/2017 05:28

I would love a home birth to avoid hanging around hospital and being comfortable in my own space.

The baby is in a very awkward position and I ended up having an emergency assisted birth last time due to the position of the baby so I wouldn't take the risk or not being in hospital should anything go wrong.

leighdinglady · 15/08/2017 20:55

It's not a prison! Of course you can leave providing your baby is safe and ready to go. As to the babies 'security tag' - she's not being stolen, you're her mum. I hope you can find the confidence (or anger) to be more forceful this time. Good luck x

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