Any experiences of one finding out the sex and the other not?

[mummabubs]

Hello,

I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my first child. Right from before we started TTC I'd always said I would really want to know the sex, DH had always said he'd want a surprise. Up until now I've managed to support him in us not finding out. However I have to confess that not knowing is really starting to get me down as the weeks go on. I think it's partly because my intuition from about 20 weeks has been fixedly telling me it's a girl, but then (as DH gleefully pointed out) our growth scan ratios are more indicative of a boy. He likes looking up theories and it's all part of the fun and excitement for him, whereas I've always disliked uncertainty and am therefore finding this more anxiety-provoking than fun! Over the last fortnight I really feel like I'm struggling to bond with my baby due to not knowing, even though I'm sure once they're out and with us I'll bond then it's making the last stages of pregnancy a bit stressful/sad to be honest. We're having another scan at 36 weeks and my midwife today said she felt I should use this opportunity to find out, with DH out of the room.

Therefore.... I was wondering if anyone has experience of one half finding out and the other not and what that felt like? Keen to hear both sides (from the person who found out or the person who's other half did). I've got 4 weeks to decide whether to ask but thought I'd ask for the wisdom of MN first 😊 Thanks in advance for sharing x

I'm not even sure you'd be able to find now if you wanted to. It's pretty difficult to tell much beyond 20 weeks as there's much less room for baby to move around and get a clear view of the 'bits'.

We've been told we could find out at the presentation scan (as long as Bubbabean doesn't cover their bits obviously). We had a growth scan two weeks ago and the midwife was able to see then too. (Plus as an added back up there are photos on the electronic patient system from the 20 week scan but they wouldn't load during my last midwife appointment)!

I'm with your DH on this in saying your wellbeing is the important thing here. It's not something you need to feel guilty about - neither of you would think twice at the moment about prioritising something that would benefit your physical health, even in a small way, so do the same for your emotional wellbeing.

(Also, spare a thought for the poor bloke & how bad he'd feel if he thought you were prioritising his preference over something that would make a difference to you! )

I'd say, find out together and enjoy sharing the discovery, then you can both look forward to meeting him or her in person in a few weeks time. There's loads more good stuff to come, it won't be spoiled by having this one bit of information now!