Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

I'm so confused. Breastfeed, Formula, Mixed...

52 replies

OnNaturesCourse · 10/08/2017 13:49

So, back story first. There's a history of breast cancer in my family and this is weighing heavily on my mind when making this decision. I've read that to get the maximum benefit you have to breastfeed direct for a year, which is really putting me off.

I've looked into formula feeding briefly but in no great depth as I'm really looking for a way to use my breastmilk.

The mixed feeding sounds ideal but again I think I need to only breastfeed direct from the breast for the first 6 weeks? I wouldn't mind this for a week or so and I would then look to express only...personal reasons but I really don't want baby on the breast and reliant directly on me for too long. I want to use my breast milk but get baby on to feeding from bottles.

There's just so much information out there, and my midwife just keeps giving me leaflets. I just don't know what to do 😟

So I am basically looking for a way to use my breast milk but have baby on a bottle as soon as possible... And I think I'd be quicker looking for a magic unicorn 😟 Is there anywhere out there that's good for clear, direct advice / help?

OP posts:

abigailgabble · 11/08/2017 09:58

OP why are you going to be away from your baby?

Adviceplease360 · 11/08/2017 10:19

Wellerr...fantastic advice

Megha22 · 11/08/2017 11:07

is there a doctor you could speak to, in my case i fed the baby directly from the breast in the first two weeks and then i would pump out the breast milk and feed her, i think its best as the baby doesn't really depend so much on you while feeding and when the teething happens your breasts are saved from the bites that would otherwise be caused , you are free to get around and have a life as well, as mothers we should never really give up on ourselves and give equal priority to the baby and our own selves.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 11/08/2017 12:11

I don't think giving up your ordinary life for a few months to focus on a newborn is a great hardship. I would find that easier than trying to carry on as normal.

I take my hat off to women who can feed just by expressing. I hated it with DC1 and found it even harder to find the time with DC2. Breastfeeding is easy when it works. When it doesn't work it can be bloody miserable. I mixed fed DC1 as exclusively breastfeeding didn't work out. For DC2 I was happy to move to mixed feeding if exclusive bf didn't work well (and it didn't).

If I were you I would a) keep an open mind b) give bf a go c) identify sources of good quality support d) work out where to hire a hospital grade pump e) work out which formula is sold in your corner shop (you may as well start on a convenient brand).

I recommend MAM bottles which can be sterilised without a steriliser.

You're hinting at medical issues which may mean my advice is not appropriate. I was worried about PND but was pleased not to get it after a traumatic birth. I'm not an earth mother by any means (have chosen to go back to work at 6m when I could afford longer off) but I would find being separated from my baby more upsetting than convenient at the moment (15w). If you need sleep/time away from the baby, maybe consider whether you can have someone in the house but in another room. It might be better for you if it's possible to accommodate.

Original poster

OnNaturesCourse · 11/08/2017 12:35

Me being parted from the baby potentially is not something I am planning... It just currently looks like it could happen. So I'm not putting myself before baby or anything but I'm aware it's likely to happen and trying to plan for it.

No medical issues, well none to effect this, but there is the mental side of things that I need to be careful with so I need to keep myself mentally and physically healthy.

I definitely think I am not going to be able to feed from the breast for long, but I do hope to give it the best I can. Could I even do it for 2 weeks then introduce mixed feeding if I need to go away?

OP posts:

Abrahamkin · 11/08/2017 13:02

I managed with no issues at 3 weeks to give formula as I needed sleep, and get back to breastfeeding the next day.

As others said take it one feed at a time. That is also what I had done. It doesn't have to be a decision from the start. The hardest would be if you first decide not to breastfeed but then want to start at a later point (and even that I am told is not impossible).

Good luck with your decision, but really it doesn't have to be this big commitment you seem to think it is before the baby is even here. See how you feel when baby comes and take it one feed at a time.

troodiedoo · 11/08/2017 13:07

Spot on Wellerr

InDubiousBattle · 11/08/2017 13:29

I'm going to go slightly against the grain here and say that establishing bf does, imho require a commitment for the first couple of weeks at least. After that I think there's quite a bit of flexibility.

Expressing is for me the hardest way to feed a baby, you have all of the inconvenience of bottles/sterilising etc but have to spend time expressing as well (including throughout the night even if your baby stays asleep). I only know of 2 women who have done it and for both it was a last resort after they just couldn't get their pre mature babies to latch. I don't know of any woman who has bf and/or expressed who would recommend it as a plan.

I mix fed both of my dc. With ds I had a nightmare start to bf with a sleepy, jaundiced, tongue tied baby. When he was still losing weight at 11 days we were advised to too him up with f until he had his tt snipped. We never fully got off the f top ups for every feed so I wouod bf him them sometimes top him up. This was a bit of a ball ache too tbh, he never became a very efficient bf so feeds always took ages and we had to carry bottles and f around too.

With dd I ebf for 2 weeks and then started to introduce a small amount of f once a day at bedtime. I breast fed her all of the rest of the time to 11 months (when she stopped all milk except her bedtime milk). I found this really, really convenient. I had the ease of bf when out and about but I knew that dd woukd take a bottle and f if need be.

When you go away will there be facilities to express and a fridge/freezer to store milk? Could you commit to bf for a couple of weeks then introduce some bottle feeds (f or ebm) occasionally, then express whilst you're away?

WiIdfire · 11/08/2017 13:59

You dont have to commit to a particular length of time or nothing at all. Just take it day by day. Even a few weeks feeding has a lot of benefit. If you end up going away for a few days, you have a couple of options.
For yourself, you'll need to pump. If you have a freezer, take some breastmilk bags and freeze the milk to use at home. If not, then dump the milk, but still pump to maintain supply.
For the baby, it will be hard work to express enough for a few days at 4 weeks. You could try, but you might have to supplement with formula if there isnt enough. This doesnt mean you cant switch back to the breast when you get home.

I'm not sure the advice to switch to purely pumping after a couple of weeks is good advice - you can, but it is the hardest option by far and there is no real need. The baby will benefit from snuggles with you, and there really isnt a problem with biting at this point.

Even if you arent able to continue feeding after you get home, four weeks is still a great achievement, so please dont give up before you even start, when there is no need. Tell the midwife you have decided to mix feed, if she demands a decision.

whatwouldrondo · 11/08/2017 14:24

My family also has a history of Breast Cancer and PND. We also carry the atopic (allergies) gene and feeding exclusively breast milk can avoid allergy problems developing later. For me breastfeeding was difficult initially with the first but I am so glad I persisted as in the end I had an on tap supply when I needed it day and night, wherever with no need to mess with bottles if I was not expressing milk for a specific reason. I also got very accomplished at expressing milk which i did without bothering with breast pumps. In the end I exclusively breastfed my second for 18 months, who weighed in at 10lbs 7ozs at birth, even expressing to make up her baby rice and other weaning foods.

I was very lucky though that breastfeeding was a tradition in my family and I had the support of Mum and my Nana, who had had the support of the generations before them so that when I had pain at first, supply fluctuations and a baby that was demanding but not traditionally "plump" they were able to reassure me that these were common issues and would settle down and kept my confidence going. I resisted the pressures to mixfeed (which would have buggered up my supply) etc. and they did settle down and it became so easy. I also think that it was beneficial mentally as it really helped me bond with my daughters, especially the second who came in a hurry and left me in shock and struggling to feel anything for her. It was that first night in the Nursery with Heart radio playing soppy songs that I fell in love with her as she latched on for the first time

I did get Breast Cancer whilst they were still young and it was a strongly hormonal one so I am sure that Breast feeding delayed it and mitigated the aggression enough for it to be treatable. I don't really want to think what it might have been like without that three year plus break in my hormonal load......
.

abigailgabble · 11/08/2017 15:41

but.. even if you were in prison or suffering from PN psychosis you wouldn't be separated from your baby. where are you going that your baby cannot go with you?

user1471134011 · 11/08/2017 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

OnNaturesCourse · 11/08/2017 18:27

Yes she is aware and its for medical reasons. It could be up to 8 weeks after birth but depends on my birth recovery.

To the lady who spoke about her own and her family history thank you for sharing. These things are not easy to discuss.

For those that breastfed a while, how did you manage with overnight stays at grandparents etc...or did that just not happen?

OP posts:

WellErrr · 11/08/2017 18:36

For those that breastfed a while, how did you manage with overnight stays at grandparents etc...or did that just not happen?

They happened, just not until they were much older.

I found I physically couldn't bear being away from them when they were tiny..!

Original poster

OnNaturesCourse · 11/08/2017 18:58

We've said 6 months roughly until baby can stay with grandparents for a night, or aunts and uncles can babysit. I guess it would work with expressed / formula for those times though. Thank you x

OP posts:

haba · 11/08/2017 18:59

Ditto- their first overnights were at a much later age, and I would get v upset if I needed to be away from them for any significant time in the early days bloody hormones.

Oysterbabe · 11/08/2017 19:00

DD is 19 months and I'll be leaving her overnight for the first time in 2 weeks 😭

haba · 11/08/2017 19:09

Also I would add that I was supposed to have (minor) heart surgery when DC2 was 5mo... but as there is a (miniscule) risk of death, I postponed it, as I couldn't take the risk of leaving a toddler and a baby motherless.
Whilst pregnant, it had seemed to me the most important thing to resolve post-partum, but after baby arrives, your priorities change.
I appreciate your condition may not be something you can postpone, but don't make any firm decision until after baby arrives- they're all different, some are v easy, and happy for anyone to look after them, others are not!
Good luck with everything!

Abrahamkin · 11/08/2017 19:38

In my case there have been no overnights yet (2.5 years). I haven't had the need. However, I had a wedding at around 6 months where I left DS for around 7-8 hrs. He got formula for just that night with no issues.

InDubiousBattle · 11/08/2017 20:31

With ds my sister had him overnight at 4 months. He was mix fed so I expressed some milk and any more he needed was f. He was sleeping really well at this age which helped I think. Ds was absolutely fine, I on the other hand decided not to bother pumping when I got in after our meal out and woke in the night covered in milk. By the ime we'd changed the bedding etc we got less sleep than when ds was there. I can't remember when dd went overnight but it was later as she needed me to settle more than ds ever did.

abigailgabble · 11/08/2017 20:40

six months

this is your first baby... I really would manage the expectations of your families with a little more prudence. do not underestimate mother nature!

Changedjustforthisonly · 11/08/2017 20:49

I am not wanting to pry, but is there really no way your baby can come with you for your medical treatment?

Original poster

OnNaturesCourse · 11/08/2017 22:24

I'm facing bladder treatment so no, they can not. Even of they could I wouldn't be able to care for them nor feed them.

6 months I'm more than happy with that for over night stays. It will be a bedtime drop off and mid morning pick up so I see no trouble.

I'm going to look into the mixed feeding.

OP posts:

abigailgabble · 11/08/2017 22:33

am having mummymiddleton flashbacks.. leaving thread now

good luck anyway OP, and OP's baby

Original poster

OnNaturesCourse · 11/08/2017 22:39

What's mummymiddleton?

And thank you?

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3