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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Uh oh. Going to be 12 weeks pregnant at my wedding...

22 replies

Clarab0w · 08/08/2017 12:53

So I have a 1-yr-old DS and just found out that I'm pregnant again. Not completely unplanned, as we were going to TTC from September anyway, but certainly a shock as must have ovulated early or late (we were careful when I thought we needed to be...).

I'm sure I'll be happy about this in time and I know how lucky I am to have got pregnant again without trying. But right now I'm feeling a bit crestfallen about not being beautiful at my wedding - what if I don't fit into my beautiful dress? Throw up on the registrar? Hate every second of watching everyone drink the wine we've been stockpiling!?

I know I'm being a real arsehole to feel like this, but I've only just got any sense of myself back, let alone a half-decent body to fit into this gorgeous dress - I'm just sad I'm going to feel like a fat lump after all this work and planning.

I guess my question is - was anyone NOT showing by 12 weeks with their second pregnancy?

And how much of an arsehole am I really to feel this way? I adore my son and always wanted to give him a sibling and am so horrified that this is how I'm feeling

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jitterbug5 · 08/08/2017 13:00

I was 6 months pregnant at my wedding 2 months ago - also unplanned!!!
Rest assured I still fit into my dream dress (couldn't even tell I was pregnant until the corset loosened toward the end of the night and literally popped out 😂)
Our son was kicking me through the entire ceremony and it was something I'll remember forever. Admittedly I wasn't as skinny as I wanted to be and I couldn't drink with everyone else (I'll be honest, I had 2 glasses of wine throughout the entire day and Ill probably get flamed for that but I don't feel guilty at all) and my feet were 5x the size at the end of the night but it was still the most perfect day! I wouldn't change it at all.
DH was amazingly supportive and decided to not get drunk either so we could enjoy the day sober and honestly it was so lovely.

Maybe look into the positives, and think about a cute announcement during the speeches!?
Congratulations OP, for the wedding and the baby!

jitterbug5 · 08/08/2017 13:04

Sorry, meant to add please DO NOT feel guilty. I was ecstatic when I found out I was pregnant but as the wedding got nearer I felt worse and worse about it all. I also felt guilty for being almost 'annoyed' it had happened but they went away so quickly and like I said, I had my perfect day made even more special! It's lovely looking at our wedding photos now knowing he's there with us!

Foggymist · 08/08/2017 13:10

I wasn't showing until 23+ weeks on this second pregnancy, definitely wouldn't have been noticeable at 12 weeks.

ems137 · 08/08/2017 13:25

I didn't show any differently in 3 of my pregnancies, not until 4/5 months.

In my 4th I put on weight quickly but that's because the exhaustion of early pregnancy hit me mega hard whilst breastfeeding my 1 year old several times in the night.

Cat0115 · 08/08/2017 13:43

I was about 12 weeks on my wedding day. Same dress but I wore a waspie as planned then loosened it at the reception. I was tired and limited myself to a weak Pimms and a mouthful of 'toast' cava. Had a brilliant day!

Cat0115 · 08/08/2017 13:45

Also I changed my shoes due to ankle swell but nobody knew I was wearing ancient pumps due to long dress!

Callamia · 08/08/2017 15:14

Congratulations all round!
I don't think I showed my second until somewhere around 16+ weeks. You should be fine, and you can mask any bloating anyway.

On how you're feeling... I got pregnant somewhat unexpectedly with my second at a less than brilliant time. I do know what it's like to feel delighted on the one hand, and miffed about the timing on the other. You'll come around to it, definitely by 12 weeks I'd got on board with the surprise and was ready for it to happen.

DoubleCarrick · 08/08/2017 15:16

My DS is currently 7 months and I'm now 15 weeks pregnant. You can't tell in the slightest that I'm pregnant - I mention the age of my DS as I guess my tummy muscles haven't had a massive length of time to recover from my last pregnancy.

Congratulations OP! Don't panic

tmc14 · 08/08/2017 15:19

I was 10 weeks when I got married (currently 25). My waist thickened by about 1/4 inch, so my fitted dress was a bit snug, but no one noticed. I'd been exhausted up to that point but the adrenaline and happiness got me through the day, I didn't nap (for the first time in 4 weeks) and I danced until 2am. Didn't care about not drinking (and I'm usually a big drinker). Just felt high as a kite and had so much fun. Congratulations & have a great day!

LittleWingSoul · 08/08/2017 15:26

I don't think you're being an arsehole at all, I'd feel exactly the same way as you. Pregnancy gets in the way of a lot of fun things, you are allowed to feel that way and still be happy you are preg deep down!

FWIW it will mean there is no risk of you getting too drunk and you will definitely remember all of it :-) perhaps DH can abstain too?

DefinitelyMaybeBaby · 08/08/2017 15:29

Don't feel quite, I think whenever anyone finds out they are pregnant you have ups and downs - days when you think of all you are going to gain and are so happy and days where you think of everything that will change and all you will miss out on.

That being said I was exactly 12 weeks on my wedding day and I don't regret it at all.
We have family all over the country and abroad so having them all together in one room and telling them at once was amazing - I announced it during the speeches and everyone was over the joyed, the atmosphere was amazing. I didn't feel sick by then and apart from being bloody knackered by 11pm felt great. My dress had been preordered, I just told the seamstress at my final fitting and she left a bit of room around the tummy but you definitely can't tell in photos. Because everyone wants to talk to you and you're so busy I didn't miss drinking, and I'm glad I remember it clearly. You also avoid the post-wedding lull of having nothing to focus on! Xx

Waitingonasmile · 08/08/2017 15:56

I didn't show with second until about 16 weeks. I was also pregnant at my wedding and I didn't miss drinking nearly as much as I thought I would. Not being hungover the next day and remembering it all was lovely.

MagicMoneyTree · 08/08/2017 16:25

Congratulations! I'm pregnant with DC2 and wasn't anywhere near showing at 12 weeks. Was still wearing my skinny jeans no problems.

I wasn't pregnant at my own wedding, but I did so much mingling, socialising, dancing that I hardly drank anything in the end - wouldn't have noticed if I'd been completely sober, I just forgot to drink. I also changed into secret wedding slippers later on and nobody noticed - and I didn't even have the excuse of being pregnant, just fancied having something comfier after a day in heels.

I've been drinking the odd tonic water and lemon juice this time and I honestly can't tell there's no gin. Could you try something like that to make it feel a bit more like a real drink? I know it's not the same as stockpiled wine, but you could give it a try?

grobagsforever · 08/08/2017 16:34

I was 36 weeks pregnant at my wedding. It took place on the ICU and DH died five weeks later.

No you're absolutely not being an arsehole. I get you're upset about dress etc. But maybe my story will give you some perspective? You're expecting a wanted second child and the man you love is healthy. Basically you've got life's jack pot right now.

Wishing you every happiness, truly.

MagicMoneyTree · 08/08/2017 16:35

So sorry to hear that grobags

grobagsforever · 08/08/2017 16:37

Thanks money tree. My daughters and I have a good life, this was three years ago. I'm off to see my lovely boyfriend later as kids with grandparents for a couple of days.

Just wanted to persuade OP to focus on the important stuff ;-)

NoRetro · 08/08/2017 16:41

Hi there, I'm 12 weeks preg with my second and not showing at all - though some days am very bloated!

MagicMoneyTree · 08/08/2017 16:44

One of my best friends lost her OH when she was a few weeks pregnant with their DD. She's 10 now and the most amazing little girl. They are doing so well and she is actual Super Mum, but it breaks my heart that they never got to meet each other. You're so right about the important stuff- and you made your point in such a sensitive way too.

Bobbiepin · 08/08/2017 16:45

I went to a wedding where tbe groom anmounced the bride's pregnancy in the speech. It was the cutest thing ever and definitely the best wedding speech

Original poster

Clarab0w · 09/08/2017 12:37

you guys - thank you. couldn't have asked for a kinder mix of don't worry about it/ it's ok to be a bit disappointed/ keep things in perspective.

grobagsforever and magicmoneytree - you're both totally right, thank you for being so gentle with the kick up the arse I needed to be given :)

tmc, cat0115, waitingonasmile and definitelymaybebaby -shotgun wedding crew! your stories have made me feel so much more hopeful that i might actually enjoy the day rather than just have to endure it (assuming HG doesn't kick in!), so thank you.

and to all of you knocked up diamonds, congratulations and all the luck in the world.
x

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 09/08/2017 13:08

I bet you could wear Spanx or something at 12 weeks with no danger to the baby. Check with your midwife when you can, but I think it would be possible. Or just brazen it out and go with a pregnancy-flattering dress style. Bonus, you will not have to be uncomfortable or (like you would if non-pregnant) worry about sucking in your stomach. I had a corset style dress and after two glasses of Malibu and Coke my stomach was so bloated that I could barely eat any of the delicious food, which was seriously disappointing!

By twelve weeks, touch wood, you should have got over the worst of morning sickness and be starting to feel amazing.

Your hair will be beautiful. You'll be glowing.

ShortThing94 · 09/08/2017 13:33

I was 30 weeks pregnant at my wedding and managed to cope alright.. I had to have 4 dress fittings within a few days of each other though as my chunk decided he wanted to lay a different way each time.

I had no issues except for getting really tired during our wedding breakfast... but I perked up after some food.

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