How do I tell my parents??

[Sophiebail]

I am about 8 weeks gone and I have the midwife this Monday, exciting!!!
However I am 20 years old, both my mum and dad were young when they had me and are only 37 now, to add to this my Step mum is pregnant so I am expecting another baby brother or sister.. I don't know how or what to do. My mum is out of the country for another 3 weeks as she's on holiday. Do I tell her over the phone or wait till she's home???

I need advice on what's best to do, as I am sooo nervous

Congratulations!

Wait until she's home and then just tell them.

I'd wait until she's home, it will definitely be easier to tell her then.

Think now about how you want to word it. You sound excited; am I right in assuming that you're keeping the pregnancy? if so, I'd advise saying "I'm having a baby" rather than "I'm pregnant". It gives the impression that your mind is made up, just in case they'd be inclined to start suggesting abortions etc, whereas "I'm pregnant" suggests you might still be undecided.

Their initial reaction may not be indicative of how they'll react in the end. My parents were gutted when I told them I was pregnant at 19. They asked me to have an abortion and kicked my boyfriend out of the house, I left too and went back to uni and we didn't speak for ages.

They now adore DD who is 3 and we have the best relationship. My mum was at the birth and has been so supportive and has apologised for her initial response. Shock and fear may cause your mum to react badly at first, but give her time and space. Don't say anything in the heat of the moment that you won't be willing to take back later on.

Will you need to move out or make any other plans? It might help to use these three weeks to think about ways you've thought practically and plans you've put in place to be as self-sustaining as possible.

It's scary but at the end of the day, you're an adult woman having a baby and any choice is yours - not your mum's, not your dad's, not anyone else's. All the best and congratulations on your pregnancy:)

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy.

Do you have a supportive dp on the scene? Is it a conversation you could both have with your parents? Non of my business but if baby is a 'surprise' I'm sure you'll feel much less nervous if you've got some good support in place for yourself.

Everyone is different, I wanted to tell my dm straight away, but my dh wants to wait until we next see his folks as they live much further away and would like to share the excitement in person.

Whatever you choose to do, you haven't committed a crime and you must try and relax. Personally I think in person is nicer, plus you'll have lots of talking to do with your mum (I did anyway) and it might be tricky if she's on holiday.

Good luck op and I hope all goes well at your booking in

I nearly broke down the other day and phoned her to tell her, luckily she didn't answer, I don't want to ruin her holiday by her thinking about me too much! I am keeping the baby, and I have already moved out, I live with my OH, so all that is fine. I have always been very independent! I work full time, I have a car and my OH has said he'll be supportive whatever I decide. Even though money is tight, there could be worse situations to be in I guess! Just very nervous about telling parents as I don't think they'll appreciate being grandparents in their 30's, I'm sure they'll soon come around!
Thank you OvariesForgotHerPassword

Congratulations! I was 28 when I was expecting dc1 and I still worried about telling my dad. He was delighted. It might be lovely having your baby a similar age to your sibling, my dad is close in age to her first cousin and it was lovely having family to hang out with when they were both tiny.
I agree wait until your mum is back and possibly wait until then to tell your dad if it's practical if you think your mum might take offence to him knowing first..

I don't think they'll appreciate being grandparents in their 30's

Or.... they may love being able to keep up with baby and able to offer much more hands on help.

I know my dm says she feels like more of a Granny now with her current little dgc's than when she first became a grandparent and could zoom around the garden.

I know you're nervous, but given your independence and excitement about it I think you're going to be just fine.