Toddler management during pregnancy

[HaggisMuncher]

I'm 33 weeks with our second, my husband is away on a well deserved weekend off with friends and I am not coping well with our 2.75 year old. Every request seems to be a battle, nappy changing, leaving the house, bath time etc etc, and I am either flipping out at him or crying, sometimes both at once. I just haven't got the patience or energy for it and feel like a shit mum, and wonder how on earth we will cope with another. Have other mumsnetters felt similar or am I just being pathetic?

Probably everyone with that age gap has gone through it, don't worry. Just pick your battles and if in doubt shove either cbeebies or raisins in his general direction.

And skip the bath tonight if it's too much. Just deploy a strategic wet wipe.

Drop all standards except for stinky nappies. It is actually a bit easier with a newborn and a toddler than pregnant with a toddler.

Mr Tumble and Smarties.

Totally understand - i'm 35+3 with a 2.75 old too. Its HARD work! My advice is to sit down to do things as much as possible - i find bending so hard now. Relax your standards at least for a bit; i have also heard the later parts of pregnancy with a toddler are often harder than having a newborn and a toddler. I'm praying that is the case!

We also potty trained our dd a few weeks back which has really helped - no more battling with nappies. Unfortunately the trade off is that our dd has now dropped her afternoon nap so the days are looooong. We do a lot of baking, and more tv than is probably recommended - but its short term only.

You are not alone!

I know this!!! When my eldest was just over 2.5 I had a newborn and was in first trimester.

You need to forget about the house. Walk to the park. Let toddler get tired. Then come home with smarties and Mr Tumble.

That does help thank you! It has just been a shitty weekend, compounded by not sleeping well. Am sure I can normally cope with his determination to do the opposite of whatever it is i need him to do, but this weekend I just can't! Feels a bit like it did when having a baby was overwhelming. Am giving up on plans to see friends, get shopping etc. Path of least resistance here I come...

I was in your position last year. It's hard. I used to drive around until she fell asleep and then pull over for a rest!
Also your situation is what CBeebies was invented for!

Im in kind of the same boat, 32 weeks with SPD and a lively 22 month old. She watches so much peppa pig at the moment its ridiculous and I do feel like a shit parent. Glad to hear it gets easier with a newborn. I can't even walk to the park at the moment

I've done the toddler calm course recently and it was good. Helped me adjust my expectations about toddler behaviour. Has led to a lot less shouting and stress.

My baby is now 14 weeks and I've been pleasantly surprised since week 1 at how easy babies are compared to toddlers.

We had a DVD player on the back seat and I also used to drive around with Ben and Holly on.

Lots of peppa pig. And I bribe him with biscuits and juice. He has very, very long bath times at around the time I'm throwing up and then long play times on the bathroom floor while I have a bath! I do not aim to achieve anything... It's just about surviving to fight another day!

I've got a 2.5 yr old and a 11 week old and it is definitely easier with a newborn and toddler than it was when pregnant.

I also say lower standards dramatically, if you've been out for an hour then don't worry about the TV being on the rest of the day.

I also put everyone in the car, drive till they are asleep then pull over and nap!

Fuck what anyone else says or thinks, do what you can to get through the day.

These tips are great!

I also agree that babies are much easier than toddlers and you are so much more relaxed about stuff with your second. Mine gets fed then shoved on the play mat/swing seat/ pram while I amuse the toddler and make sure he doesn't kill himself. There is certainly no faffing about nap routines for number 2!

This thread has made me feel so much better- I'm nearly 38 weeks with DD2 and have a 2.5 year old. Don't drive and at the point when I'm struggling to even walk to the park- loving all the tips! Was feeling like a shite Mum but feeling a little better 😊 Thanks for the initial post HaggisMuncher x

Glad it's helped mini. I reason that in the long run 6/9/12 months of more than ideal tv amounts isn't going to ruin the toddler but it will save my sanity.