Pregnancy envy

[itsmehi]

My sister has just told me she is pregnant. I suspected she was for months but has only now told me at over 16 weeks.

I did not expect to feel the way I do - since I already thought she was anyway- but having it confirmed has really upset me and I'm annoyed at myself for even feeling this way. I would never let her know I feel this way or anything. But it is how I feel.

My husband and I desperately wish for a second child but know that we cannot - CANNOT afford it. Childcare x 2 would cost more than one of us earns and we cannot afford for one of us to quit work.

My sister stays at home so though all children cost etc. Having an another child does not make an immediate impact.

This is not a feel sorry for me thing - just more detail on my feelings. Does anyone else have/have had pregnancy envy? And if so, how did you (if you did?) get over it.

I really don't like this ugly emotion I'm feeling right now. I'm sure I'd get over it as soon as I meet the baby. But don't want to constantly obsess over this jealousy!

Yes, I get it. I'd like another, we can afford another but dh says no..we did agree on only one before we had ds and Tbf our ages are against us. But I still get a bit envious. A friend of mine is due her 3rd in a few weeks. I just feel very sad really

I experience it quite often. I have had a miscarriage and an ectopic. Although we have put conceiving on hold, it's an absolute killer when people I know announce pregnancies. I don't let on, I'm all smiles to everyone but it actually makes my chest hurt. The only way I cope is by suppressing my feelings and distancing myself from the pregnant person.

Aw I'm so sorry to hear that from both of you. I don't know why I even posted this really. I didn't want to remind anyone of these feelings or anything. Think I just wanted to get it off my chest. Don't feel like it's the kind of thing I can tell people without them thinking I'm just being a brat or something.

It's quite cathartic really itsmehi, just typing it out. And knowing you're not alone

I got pregnancy envy for a long time while I was trying to conceived for years. Even now when I'm finally pregnant, feel a bit sad that this is my first and last. Given the choice I might have only had one child anyway, but it's nice to have the choice.

Will you be able to try for another once your little one is 3, so will be starting school by the time you return to work?

I'm on the receiving end of some of this: several of my friends have suddenly become very distant and hardly speak to me or avoid meeting up now that I'm expecting #4. I miss them, but if it's too difficult for them to be round me, I do understand. When I was struggling to conceive, it felt like everyone around me was getting pregnant and it was tough to cope with, so I respect that I don't know everyone's situation, and that hopefully they won't cut me off forever.

You can't help your feelings, but you can help if and how you show them. Hopefully your sister has enough self-awareness not to bombard you with information about her pregnancy, but if she does, you may have to be less available to protect yourself!

Thanks for all the replies to this if any of you are still here. I feel awful for starting something then disappearing! To answer any of the below, my sister must have some awareness, but I know I downplay it a lot/hide my true feelings. So I can't blame her if she isn't exactly subtle. I THINK that is our best option - to wait until he is 3 to start trying. 18 months just feels so long away! It took nearly two years to conceive him, which at the time felt hard, but doesn't compare to how I'm feeling now. I swear I'm not looking for sympathy! I don't think anyway. Haha. But I really appreciate knowing that I'm not alone in these feelings though I hate admitting that I even feel this way and I definitely do not wish it on anyone else! I'm drama 🤦🏻‍♀️