I'm 40, during my teens I volunteered in schools and groups with children from birth to 16yrs. But since about 25yrs I haven't had much contact with children or babies - just because of work, older friends, and different volunteering. My maternal instinct is strong, I feel in a good place to have a baby. But OH is now panicking that maternal instincts are not enough. That I have not researched into having a baby, have no idea what it involves, and hadn't thought it through. I'm 10 wks pregnant with my first. He has two grown up children and grandchildren. My thought was that you can never know what it will be like, every child and parent is different. I envisage it will be the hardest thing I have ever done but also the most rewarding. True, I know little about babies but my midwife said she'll point me in the direction of classes so I'm up to speed, and I've very much said yes. Under it I feel he's panicking, for me we were having a baby together, he now seems to think I will continue to bring in a good salary and be full time mum to the baby. We're both self employed. The original plan was that we'd manage child care between us, seems now he wants his cake and to eat it. Plus he wants me to be up to speed as him, despite saying he was just like me with his first.
Just to add maternity leave for self employed only occurs if you work less than 10 days during that time - which won't work as I need to keep things ticking over to have a business to return to, we knew that before.