AIBU - when should partner stop drinking before due date?

[harriet50kl]

I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant and considering asking my partner to stop drinking on a weekend as of next week onwards. I just wanted to put the feelers out to see when others asked their partners to or if you did at all? This won't be a demand to him but just more of a request per se.

I'm not meaning as in no alcohol at all, i e wine with dinner, but more nights out with the mates getting pissed up and will then be considered pretty much useless if I was to go into birth?

He won't be allowed on the ward if he's completely drunk. They have to consider other patients. So sensible drinking from now if I was you and if you want him to be your birth partner.

I'm 31 weeks currently. Dh has said from mid August he knows he needs to be able to drive at all times so no drinking. I haven't put any restrictions on him about this.

The only thing I have insisted on is him having his phone on him on loud at all times. In case I need him.

I'm not sure either really - my OH isn't a big drinker usually apart from big nights out a handful of times a year but his sister is getting married when I'm 37 weeks, that will deffo be a 'big night' [and who knows what I'm going to wear lol] so I'm thinking of asking my mum to come and stay just in case. Also will mean I can go home early and not just going back to an empty house... to be honest, I think he will naturally rein it in a bit without being told, but I don't think it's fair to tell him not to drink at his only sisters wedding!

Other than that one occasion I would expect he'll have the odd beer but generally keep it moderate from about 36 weeks, it's just common sense really

I think it's reasonable to ask that he doesn't get drunk for the last month of your pregnancy.

I never needed to have this conversation. My DP likes a beer and goes out etc, and I saw no reason to lay down the law as I trusted him to be sensible...he wasnt silly enough to get smashed but there was no alcohol ban either. Unless your DP gets absolutely wasted regularly, you should be fine?

Never really needed to have the conversation either. Dh didn't need the law laid down for him. I had complications that meant I had to be within x minutes of the hospital for the last months.
He barely drinks anyway just made sure it to at all. He had one (very rare ) night out I told him to go on at 36 weeks and we just made sure our neighbours/taxi would have. Even able to take me if needed.

He had two pints and had a hangover the next day

I can't believe people have to have these conversations with husbands / partners - do they seriously lack common sense to that degree ???

@ememem84 same, that's exactly what I've asked! And full battery at the best of times if he can help it 😂

@MizK my OH doesn't get drunk very often, I'd say once a month off his own back but can sometimes be more if there's a stag do or a birthday involved. He is a bit of a nightmare when he drinks (lost phone, can't speak, etc) so I think the thought of him being potentially in this way on a night i could go into labour is terrifying!

Doesn't help either that my mum and dad go away for 3 weeks next week and are back only 5 days before my due date! 😬 so the only person I could have on standby if he does go out is my MIL which I'm not a keen bean on. We spoke this morning about it and he's promised he won't and that he thought I was being fair - for some reason in my head I just thought the whole idea of asking him not to drink would piss him off 😂 obviously not!

@Cupcakegirl13 although my OH is very clued up on pregnancy, he wasn't actually aware that a baby is full term at 37 weeks and can come from any time until I told him. We don't actually start NCT until tomorrow. He thought that babies normally come from 39 weeks onwards, therefore those 2 weeks he may have thought to himself that having a drink wouldnt be a problem which I wouldn't have called him out on having 'no common sense' for 🙄

We said the last three/four weeks. Seemed sensible and OH didn't have an issue with it. He had one last big night out when I was 35 weeks and we checked that either DM or MIL was available beforehand just in case I needed to get to hospital. It's just common sense, surely?

Not unreasonable at all!!!!

My OH has stopped drinking altogether in solidarity with me from the time we found out we were expecting.. 10 days after conception! I wouldn't have mind if he would have carried on, neither of us used to drink too much tbh, but I thought it was sweet of him to do it.

I'm due mid-February, my husband usually does dry January so I'm just going to ask him to keep going for another few weeks.

My DH gave up alcohol as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Said if I couldn't drink then he wouldn't either as it wouldn't be the same or as much fun. Never expected him, to but has made it so much easier, and at least I now don't have to worry about the stopping near due date chat. Deffo not unreasonable to ask him to stop when baby could come anytime now, you never know. What's a couple of beers really worth compared to the stress of you going into labour and then him not being able to drive you to hospital!