Breastfeeding success?

[MissBax]

The closer I get to giving birth the more negative breastfeeding stories I hear. I'm realistic and so hope to breastfeed, but know that it doesn't always go to plan. But the more I hear about it not working the more anxious I'm getting. How will I know baby is getting milk? What if she's losing weight and I can't tell? I'm very nervous she'll be dehydrated and I won't know!
Can anyone give me any tips or positive experiences to cheer me up abit please?

Try not to worry - even if things get off to a rocky start it can still work out I promise.

When DD was born she was poorly and so in neonatal for a few days. I couldn't even try to breastfeed for 24 hours as she was on oxygen (so well and truly missed that magic 1 hour window that everyone talks about). I tried to pump (whilst having no clue what I was doing). When DD came to join me she was still too poorly to latch (sleepy) so I gave her the tiny amounts I could express by bottle (again totally breaking that no bottle/nipple confusion rule), and topped up with formula. When we got home a week later after a few days of expressing and feeding by bottle she finally latched on and we only ended up using our emergency formula once. She was breastfed until she was 18 months old. So it's not all negative!

You will know baby is getting milk by listening out for the swallowing sound (you can google videos of it), wet nappies and weight gain (HV will check the weight on their visits). You may feel like baby isn't getting enough, particularly in those first few days whilst your milk is coming in, but just let baby feed whenever / for as long as needed.

Breastfeeding support in hospital can sometimes be patchy so it may be worth looking up details of a qualified lactation consultant ahead of time to help advise in case of problems (I had one and she really helped turn things around). Also, if for any reason you have issues like I did and need to pump to boost supply make sure you use a hospital grade double pump (we rented one), it will be much more effective, and save you precious time when you are tired and hormonal.

But most importantly if it doesn't work out, don't put pressure on yourself or feel guilty!

The easiest and simplest way to know baby is getting milk is to look at nappy output. If baby is peeing and pooing regularly (you'll be told how often they should go), baby is getting sufficient milk. You'll be checked and monitored regularly anyway and won't be discharged by medical services until baby is regaining weight - all newborns lose some.

You can learn how to see signs of dehydration and can quite quickly learn to hear and see baby swallowing at the breast. Imo a lot of people think they don't have enough milk when actually they're doing fine. Worry about what comes out - if output is fine input will be too. Use the help available in hospital and look up your local breastfeeding support groups in advance.

Breastfeeding was and is a wonderful experience for me which I have loved. Good luck.

Echoing what the above posters say. Aswell as, stay hydrated yourself. Get a reusable litre bottle. I was drinking 2/3 litres a day in the early weeks.

If possible, get baby checked for tongue tie by an infant feeding specialist/lactation consultant (your area should have one. Some hospitals have one on shift, so if you can get baby checked before you leave hospital, definitely do.)

Find your local breastfeeding group. The right advice and support is invaluable.

(DS had and posterior tongue tie, didn't find out/have it divided until he was 18/19 weeks. I sailed through the first 8-10 weeks of breastfeeding, then had and tricky time trying to work out what was going on. I was utterly utterly determined to bf, mainly because Dh had to go back to work when ds was 3 days, so I knew I'd be doing 100% of all night feeds, and sleep was a high priority! He's 8 months and we're still feeding, it's had its ups and downs but on the whole, a wonderful experience, I'm so glad I chose to bf.)

Agree with everything above.

My lb is almost 20 weeks and I love feeding him. The first 6 weeks were tough with cluster feeding in the evenings and general tiredness. But I'm so glad I persevered.
Breast feeding groups are amazing, and there are some great bf groups on Facebook too!
Good luck 😊

The most useful thing I was told about breastfeeding is that it can be very very hard at the start, but if you stick at it, it gets very easy. This was 100% true for me.

Make sure you eat and drink plenty yourself
Rest as much as you can (haha!)

Little one should have at least 2 dirty nappies (chicken korma consistency, size of a two pound coin) and 5 wet nappies a day, once your milk has come in. (Dirty nappies can slow down after a while which is fine)

Signs of dehydration are dry lips,dry eyes, sunken soft spot.

Don't be afraid to try different things to see what works for you. My little boy couldn't latch as he had an enormous tongue, a small mouth and my nipples were flat. He also had jaundice so was sleepy. I had to express and feed him with a bottle to wake him and then slowly went back to breast via nipple shields over a period of weeks as he learnt how to latch properly.

It will probably hurt but shouldn't be excruciating. If it is, something is likely wrong.

Be aware of tongue tie and seek assessment by a qualified practitioner if you suspect, do not accept GP/midwife reassurance as they generally are not qualified to diagnose.

Have a list of numbers to call if you need - NCT, national breastfeeding helpline, breastfeeding network

Research local support groups before the birth and go along if you need help afterwards

Kelly mom is a great website for info and reassurance about cluster feeding

Facebook also has some useful groups for breastfeeding support and a group called 'Can I breastfeed in it?' which is great for bf friendly clothing recommendations and just generally making you feel like what you are doing is normal.

Educate yourself so that when family members and friends wheel out the usual phrases 'little one can't be hungry again', ' you've only just fed', 'feed them four hourly', 'top them up' etc that you feel confident enough not to listen!

As a muslim, we are instructed to breastfeed for 2 years from birth if able to do so.
I know some women are unable to do so but it must be tried, you've seen all the pictures of women openlt breastfeeding in parliament, trains and shops; well I would not go there - it's just me.

In the UK it is absolutely acceptable and protected by law to breastfeed in public. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise or try to stop you.

My first DD had a rocky start, I expressed for 6 weeks and then dried up. I was determined with second DD. Echo above, first 6 weeks very challenging and took it day by day but then it became second nature for both of us. I fed her for 12 months when she just stopped showing an interest. I used lots of Vaseline on sore nipples as advised by HV at the time. Also easier after 6 weeks as your body settles down and your boobs aren't like rocks! Worth the perseverance.

I'm a breastfeeding peer supporter

Breastfeeding is not always hard. Many, many mothers simply latch on and go.

Remember, your breasts were designed to make milk, so try not to worry about it. Do you worry about your other bodily functions? Probably not! No one stresses about 'will my kidneys make enough urine today?' because for the vast majority of people, they just do. And if they don't? You seek medical attention.

Breastfeeding is the same. Trust your body. The overwhelming probability is that everything will work fine. If it doesn't, you can get help from your midwife or get referred on to a lactation consultant.

Plenty of rest, keep hydrated, keep an eye on nappy output, and every time the baby squeaks in the early days put a nipple in its mouth.

Most people have a somewhat rocky start (it's a learned skill for you both) and that is normal. It takes weeks to fully get the hang of, but is so worth persevering. As others have said, access support! Friends who have breastfed, groups, mumsnet, midwives. A good lactation consultant was the best money I spent when DD was born!

It's easy to know they are getting enough - you just keep an eye on wet and dirty nappies. They tell you how many nappies to expect in the early days but sites like www.kellymom.com are helpful too.

What's likely to trip you up is people saying "oh they can't possibly need feeding again" when breastfed babies in fact feed very frequently in the early days in order to build up your supply. Every feed and suckle is a signal to your body to keep making milk. Just remember - "If in doubt, whip it out!" (your breast that is )

I educated myself as much as possible before hand. Know the facts, know what's normal and it's much easier. There is this weird sense that it should just come naturally but that's not true.

I recommend buying 'Ina May's Guide to Breastfeeding, follow The Milk Meg on Facebook and read her blog, and have a browse of the Kellymom website and the Analytical Armadillo blog. It really helps to know as much as possible beforehand. That way you have a clearer idea when something might be wrong.

My friends who formula feed seem just as stressed except they worry that baby only had X oz of milk etc. Sometimes knowing exact amounts isn't great either.

I'm currently breastfeeding my second baby (nearly 3 weeks) and successfully breastfed my first (exclusively) till 20 months.

I was very fortunate but it didn't come without its mega emotional days.

My main tips are:

Read up about cluster feeding

Trust your body - it may feel like you're starving them and they want to feed constantly but if you're getting lots of wet, dirty nappies and they are gaining weight (even if it's not "quick" enough) you're doing fab

Get support from closest people - tell them they can help by doing the washing up, hold the baby and play whilst you grab a shower etc. Offering to feed them, just give them formula etc is not he answer to everything

Formula feeding doesn't necessarily mean good sleep. Babies sleep is down to the baby

Your nipples WILL hurt at first. It does get better but the whole "oh it shouldn't be hurting" is right to a degree but get your latch checked/tongue tie checked if you're concerned

Be realistic. You could be fine, you could struggle, there are many who can push through tough things but everybody has their limit. Do not think that this means you are a failure etc if you do mix feed or switch to formula. The best thing you can do is be there for your baby 100%. If feeding is taking over and, for your family, it's not right don't feel obliged.

Practice feeding in front of a mirror and comfortable places (cafes groups etc) to feed in public. You'll be a pro in no time.

Take it one feed at a time and set mini goals.

There's a brilliant infographic about the benefits to you and the baby for each time period of feeding. Even if you end up feeding for a short time it shows the great things you've done in that time.

Seek out Facebook groups like breastfeeding yummy mummies, can i breastfeed in that (high street fashion with easy access for bf) and you'll find a hive mind of helpful bf information at the touch of a button. Great for the 3am questions!

It's the hardest thing I've ever done but I don't regret it at all ❤️

Oh and the best saying I ever heard was

Breasts are factories, not warehouses"

Everybody panics when their supply settles and they feel "empty". Something like 80% of milk is made whilst feeding

I breast fed all 3 of mine and will the 4th. People may disagree with this but the best advice I ever got was from an older midwife who told me I needed to be 'sheer bloody minded' to breastfeed - and I was! No pain issues with first but 2nd and 3rd were both tongue tied and although they thrived - I always had nipple pain on one side - inspite of divisions, cranial osteopathy etc. I'm not saying this to get a pat on the back, I wanted to breastfeed so I did.
I recommend reading Kate Evans - the formula to successful breastfeeding. Best breastfeeding book ever.
Just be prepared for frequent feedings in the beginning and during growth spurts. Also seek help early. Get professionals to check baby's latch and if you experience problems then let them know. Good luck 🍀

Emma Pickett's 'you've got it in you; a positive guide to breastfeeding ' is great and in general I think speak to as many breastfeeding mums as possible so you know what's normal and don't panic if

Just don't worry or buy into the fearmongering marketing that is strategically used to convince you that you need special products/foods/gadgets to be successful, or that you'll need to get baby on a "schedule"!

That being said, arm yourself with nipple shields and lanolin JUST in case you get really sore, look for a local LLL or cherubs Breastfeeding support group (I found one on Facebook and never even made it to a meeting, but the middle-of-the-night private support from other members was absolutely amazing). Once you get the hang of it (and it'll take some time to get the hang of it - just embrace it!) you'll be so glad you did it for your baby and yourself. I went 17 months with my first (only aimed for a year but lo and behold!)

Thanks so much for all the advice! I guess we mainly hear about the scare stories than the positives, so this has certainly reassured me alot! Thank you x

Sorry my phone took matters into its own hands! I'd definitely recommend finding breastfeeding support groups nearby and going when pregnant to get a chance to chat to mums about what's normal.
I've gradually realised that there's a strange stigma around breastfeeding; it's hard to talk in detail about it, but particularly if things are going well and the mum is enjoying it. I was so surprised when I found it to be the most lovely, sweet bonding experience. Every time my baby fed I had a wee rush of oxytocin that made me for happy and sleepy and calm.
I also think sometimes it's hard for mums to say they just don't want to carry on breastfeeding so often you'll hear about the hurdle that was the final straw for them; lots of mums breastfeed through difficult circumstances (crucially, with the right support) and lots of mums don't have issues at all. Take one day at a time, do your research and make sure you know where to get help if you do have problems (beyond your midwife or HV)

My DD had her first after Christmas. She said she knew it was going to be the biggest challenge to bf. But it wasn't at all, baby latched on well, good supply, bit of soreness. No problems and still feeding 7 months on. You never know what to expect so don't fret in advance.

Don't panic! It's not necessarily doom and gloom. I found it quite straightforward myself.

IME the most important thing to know is how and where you can get fast, reliable, accurate support in the early days. I'd recommend the MN infant feeding board as a source of this, but also it's worth looking up local breastfeeding support groups and drop ins because it can be helpful to have RL support.

The book The Food of Love is also great and the website Kellymom.

In addition, you'll be able to ask for help with feeding in hospital, and even when you first go home you'll have a number you can call to speak to midwives on labour ward which you're encouraged to use with any worries. They will visit you at home and only discharge to health visitor once they are satisfied you're doing okay on your own. Then, the health visitor will come to introduce herself and do the handover and you can ask her any questions from there.

To answer your Qs:

The best way to know that your baby is getting milk in the early days is to count their wet nappies. After milk comes in on day 3-4 you want to look for 5-6 wet/dirty nappies a day. Other signs that they are getting milk are that they are alert and happy when awake and not feeding (which isn't much of the time when they are tiny!)

You'll have them weighed fairly often at first so it will be spotted if they are losing weight. In addition, it's normal for babies to lose up to 10% of their birth weight in the first few days of life, and then they gain this back. This is expected and the midwives will explain it to you when it happens.

It is very important to notice signs of dehydration in little babies but again, you won't be left totally alone to begin with so no need to worry. The signs of dehydration are on the NHS website, so you can easily check (just google it). Usually you'll get other signs that your baby isn't feeding well before they'd get dehydrated. The most common scenario which leads to dehydration is a tummy bug, which is really unlikely to happen when your baby is newborn.

I BF two boys, one for 3 and the other for 4 years and have nothing but positive things to say about it.

It is a very steep learning curve to start with, but with the right support and the confidence that your body is able to provide your baby with what it needs (you grew it in your body so it's unlikely to suddenly stop being able to), you should be fine.

It helped me to have my husband tell me it was all OK, even when we were both exhausted and wondering what to do (first week).

Find people who have successfully BF who are willing to be on the end of the phone or can pop over. You need to surround yourself with support NOT stories of how hard it is, or worse, people trying to dump their guilt on you.

Accept that you will be nursing ALOT in the first weeks - go with it, have the confidence.

I never needed shields, or creams or anything. I did get engorged when my milk came in and quite sore as we both got used to things, but the more you can keep feeding, the better.

Really soft bras which are not pinching anywhere lower the risk of getting blocked ducts etc. Warm showers and hand massage can help with "hot rocks".

Lots of people find it really east to BF and there is no reason why you shouldn't be one of those people. Make sure you have a network of support you can call on - RL friends who have BF, helplines and local support groups.

I think the most sensible advice I have is to assume the best, prepare for alternatives. By prepare, I mean acknowledge the fact that it is hard, it may not work out for reasons beyond your control and that it might work out, but take a while to get started.

I tried to BF DC1, didn't work out for lots of reasons and I was devastated at the time. It contributed heavily to my PND and I think that's because I hadn't reasonably considered the alternatives and that it might just not work out for me.

I am about to have DC2 and will be having a crack at BFing again this time despite the problems I had last time... after the amount of advice I received after DC1 I am pretty sure I could become a BFing advisor myself! I am emotionally prepared for it not working out this time though so hopefully won't have as tough a time as last time if I end up with no supply.

To prepare for all eventualities I have just got in a starter pack of formula (pre-made bottles and sterilised teats all ready to go) in case my baby is screaming the place down at 3am, won't / can't feed, all the shops are shut and there is no-one around to offer any help and advice.

Best of luck - I hope it all works out brilliantly for you... Just read up on as much stuff as you can, get as much support as you can and choose a few boxsets / Netflix series etc to save until baby comes so you can just sit around with a boob out, snuggling your baby and getting your supply sorted.

i've loved bf'ing my daughter. We are still going at 18 months but my milk is drying up (pregnancy hormones) so it may come to an early end (I hope not!).

agree with what everyone has said. I've never once had a bad comment bf'ing, i have had a few good comments though that's always nice. Don't buy in to loads of feeding capes/covers etc unless you really need to. The one up/one down method is just as good at being discreet and most babies hate feeding capes.

as for pain etc. pain when breastfeeding isn't normal. Discomfort to begin with is normal but pain suggests a problem. Check out if you have any good boob groups near you (La leche league meets etc) these are great places to go for support.

Oh, and good luck!

My DD had a rough start in SCBU and I wasn't able to feed her and had to pump milk, it took us a good 2 weeks to get her strong enough to latch, the first 6-8 weeks are definatley the hardest as you establish a pattern and its very hard not to give it, especially if like me your friends babies were ff 4 hourly/slept all night etc.

DD is 1 now and still BF and going strong and I am so glad I persevered through the sore nipples and hour long feedings.

I just kept the figure in my head of the amount of women who actually cant breastfeed (something like 5-10%??) And remembered that we are designed to make milk, babies do feed like crazy at first to the point your boob feels like its been out all day, but as long as baby is gaining weight well and plenty of wet and dirty nappies they are getting plenty!

I also had a rocky start (emergency caesarean, distressed baby, poor weight gain initially) but fed my first till 12 months and am really glad we got the hang of it eventually.
Once we got the hang of it I loved the convenience - I would have absolutely hated to be tied to sterilising, preparing bottles etc, esp in the middle of the night or when going out for the day. I know loads of people do it but I'm not the most practical person and also am very bad at packing light so would have really struggled not to take lots of extra bottles just in case we got held up...
For example, we went to London on the train for the day when baby was a few months old and it was so easy just feeding as and when needed, not worrying about finding a cafe for hot water or similar. I am very keen to breastfeed my second (due soon) mainly for the convenience rather than any potential health benefits.
Do be aware that friends/relatives may have a lot of misconceptions eg that babies 'should' feed every 3 hours, or 'should' sleep through by x age. I was really surprised when a relative who used to be a children's nurse asked with genuine interest 'how do you know when he's had enough?'. I think she must have worked in the era where formula was seen as superior.
Health visitors can be great but if for any reason you don't feel that they are getting any issues resolved get some more specialist advice - I had an extremely useful conversation with one of the breastfeeding helplines which made a massive difference.