Second child

[Fizzymarmalade]

Just looking for advice really on coping with 2 and hoping someone will come along and share their insights.

I'm a SAHM to 1 DC (almost 2), DC attends playgroup for a couple of hours a few times a week to allow me to do some studying though (we live a long way away from family so don't have help readily available).

I'm expecting another DC and as the due date comes closer find I'm increasingly being asked when I'll be putting DC in nursery. It hadn't occurred to me to do this, I'd just planned on continuing with playgroup as we do at the moment. However, when I've asked friends with more than 1 DC it turns out that if working they kept DC1 in nursery during their mat leave and if SAHM they put them into nursery for a few days a week so now I'm wondering if I'm being really daft thinking I can manage with 2 at home.

Has anyone else done/not done this, am interested in the pros and cons, what's it really like being at home with 2 DC, I will have DH's help for the first month, but otherwise will be on my own...

I was also really worried about this. I took DC1 (2) out of nursery when I finished for mat leave and we don't have him in any childcare at all.

It has all worked out really well - I am much more in a routine than I was first time, so get up and go out every morning (playgroup/park/soft play), back for the toddlers nap and then usually stay home in the afternoon. DC2 very much fits in with whatever we are doing - naps in the buggy/sling/cot depending on where we are.

It massively helps that DC1 still naps for 2.5/3 hours and DC2 is a very calm baby, but overall it hasn't been a problem at all.

Can't offer any advice but I'm a SAHM to DS 2.5 and DS2 is due in 4 weeks. DS doesn't nap or go to any childcare and he won't until at least April. Even then it'll be a gradual introduction to a max of 15 hours at pre school. I'm thinking it's not going to be easy but keeping busy might help?!!!

I kept dc1 in nursery 2 days a week when on Mat leave with dc2, and dc2 in 2 days a week when on mat leave with dc3. 2 reasons - 1 to let me do stuff like baby yoga with the baby I couldn't do with the others around and have a bit of time with just them and secondly because if I pulled them out completely I would loose their nursery place when I went back to work and I didn't want that to happen.

Following with interest!

You're entitled to 15 free hours from when they turn 3 (or 30 if you are working) incidentally.

My DD has gone to nursery full-time since she was 2 years old while I've been working and studying. She thrives on it. I'm keeping her there this year even though I'm on maternity leave because it's so good for her. I'd probably have taken her out if it wasn't such a good nursery though.

Following for any more tips on coping with two! I'm especially interested in bedtimes and how that can work.

Try to get out and do an activity in the morning (playgroup, activities, walks etc). It makes the day work better and the toddler can nap when you get home.

I found with 2 that there were more ups and downs but I also enjoyed it more. My eldest was just 2 when the baby came and she was happy as long as her routine did not change!

Bedtime was not as big a challenge as feared. Often I would be breast feeding whilst reading a story but a long as the book is not too heavy you can balance it!

I found people helped out a lot, there was always someone to hold the baby at playgroups.

Good luck, I'm sure you will soon get into a routine.

Thank you all - that's really encouraging!

I will keep sending my DC to playgroup for the 9 hours per week we currently have which should give me some time alone with the new DC to go to at least one baby group a week. I will start looking into some more morning activities which we can all enjoy together too - my DC definitely needs a morning activity otherwise boredom sets in, so I just need to find something we can all enjoy.

We will muddle through I'm sure, I just suddenly realised how unprepared I was. Now is probably the right time to find a couple of good babysitters as a backup...