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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Hands off the bump!

50 replies

marieg76 · 27/03/2007 14:18

I'm 12 weeks pg with my first and am soon to start to show. My fear is that I will suddenly become public property and that people will try to touch my bump. Is this an urban myth or do strangers really actually try to touch you when you are showing?

Also put off by the idea of perves staring at my huge gazongas but that's another story!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lizbet316 · 28/03/2007 14:51

Not only did I get the "not long to go now dear!" comments at 7 months but people kept asking
"are you sure there's only one in there?" GRrrrrrrr!
When i told people my due date they all gave their expert opinion that I wouldn't last that long.....how wrong they were...DS was 2 weeks overdue.

JammyMummy · 28/03/2007 19:00

I'm afraid it is true - i've had complete strangers patting my bump quite hard (not exactly pleasant) at parties, plus people I work with (but with whom I am not that friendly)who come up and tap away without permission. I now physically take a step back when I see a hand hovering, and with male colleagues I say "Don't touch It!" People who make comments about size are also idiots - they're talking out of their arses, but still feel the need to say something stupid - like "are you sure it's not twins?" One male colleague though had no idea I was pregnant (am coming up to 36 weeks and I haven't gained any weight apart from in my abdomen) - his excuse was "I guess I just never look at you down there!"

swalesie · 28/03/2007 22:55

Well to be honest i really liked all the attention my perfect bump brought, and didnt at all mind people having a good feel , but it was only ever my friends that would do it, except for one time i was out with my partner outside a bar and some random haggered old smack head (clearly off her head) wouldnt leave me alone, kept holding on to my bump with both hands tellin me i was having a real small girl and that all my bump was just water, (had a boy 7.2). She was lucky i was going through a weepy stage at that point cos if she'd have caught me a week earlyer id have nutted the wizzend bitch in the face!

oysterpots · 29/03/2007 10:28

I haven't had strangers wanting to touch it yet but I do find them staring at the bump quite a lot. It's a weird feeling - going from relative anonymity to someone knowing something major about you and your life just by looking at you.

The worst I had was a man who passed me on the way to work who took one look at my bump and said "I know what you've been doing!". YUCK

DizzyBrummie · 29/03/2007 13:28

Most people ask and it seems to be only fa ily and friends so I don't mind.

That said, my ex-husband's dad touched it the other day without asking, wasn't overly keen on that

mishw · 30/03/2007 09:30

The most inappropirate comment was from a doctor - after giving me a breat examination he said 'you'll have no trouble breastfeeding'

Needless to say I don;t ever see him when I need a doctor!

Annie75 · 30/03/2007 11:11

It's not until I've become pregnant that I've realised just how inappropriate most comments are. I've had the 'ooh, where are you hiding it?' and 'it can't be very big' ones, which have just served to make me paranoid and a bit defensive! My partner addresses me as 'fatty fatty' while patting my little bump (affectionately, he thinks ) and one from a friend, 'you're putting it all on your hips, aren't you, cos you used to be quite tiny there'. Gah - can't win. It's like you've suddenly become public property in as far as it's okay to comment out loud on how you look. Anyway, sod 'em, our bodies are undergoing a major transformation and doing an ace job at it.

peevedfrompurley · 30/03/2007 11:19

I never minded the touching tbh. In fact I always make a point of touchin the bumps, makes the mum feel special imo - and babe needs to get used to the attention

ceolas · 30/03/2007 11:26

I hate it. Can't imagine ever wanting to touch someone else's either.

It's madness

ceolas · 30/03/2007 11:27

"I never minded the touching tbh. In fact I always make a point of touchin the bumps, makes the mum feel special imo"

If you read the comments posted here, clearly in a lot of cases, it doesn't.

peevedfrompurley · 30/03/2007 11:29

Well each to their own - being a bit fernicketty imo, something else for hormonal pg women t moan about

jojomo · 30/03/2007 16:44

I work with 5 year olds and so had at least 30 pairs of little hands touching my bump all day long...along with classic comments such as 'is it going to come out of your bottom Miss?' and 'You CAN'T be pregnant, you're a TEACHER!'. Bless. I don't mind the kids touching the bump but the other teachers and staff (mostly female) really should know better...along with the bump feeling it was a daily round of 'Oooh, you're so BIG, is it twins, you'll never make it to your due date, you look just like I did and I had a NIGHTMARE labour' etc etc. One lady greeted me every morning with 'Hello Tubby'...and she was at least a size 20!!!

oh and my mother in law on two seperate occasions has hoiked up my shirt as soon as I walk through the door to inspect the bump!! I am considering body armour...

moondog · 30/03/2007 16:46

Oh get over yerselves.
Most people are just trying to express polite interest and believe me there won't be a whole lot of that gonig spare once the baby arrives.
The newborn will have a brief moment of glory and will then be ignored once he/she gets bigger/louder/dirtier.

jojomo · 30/03/2007 16:59

Interest is lovely but it's NOT polite to make such personal comments and to be touched up by people!! As a first timer (and ex bulimic) it is has been dreadfully difficult at times to smile and get through the conversations...I have also worried and worried that the size of my bump is somehow not normal. It wasn't until I went to antenatal classes and realised that all our bumps were pretty similar that I could relax a bit.

lilymolly · 30/03/2007 21:09

God I agree Moondog, I loved all the attention I got when I was pregant and loved my bump, and had no problem with people touching it. As soon as lo arrives no one will give a shit about you, so I say enjoy it whilst it lasts.
You will have SO MUCH more to worry about when the baby arrives

MrsHarry · 31/03/2007 20:34

It doesn't bother me when people touch my bump, although I confess I've not had any strangers try to do it.
What has really hacked me off has been the comments since being about 24 weeks, making out I'm larger than I should be. As soon as I started ante-natal classes I realised that sizes varied so much, even with people due about same time as me, it just makes me wonder how other people....even mums....consider themselves such experts on the matter...
The worst thing was when I walked into my MIL's house the other day after a shopping spree for maternity clothes, and when I told her the jeans I was wearing were new she just whipped my shirt up so she could see what they looked like under my bump. I came very close to punching her...there is no way she would have done that under normal circumstances...

kathrynharriet · 31/03/2007 21:51

I was out shopping in Tesco about 2 weeks before DS was born, I walked past two old ladies one said to the other " do you think its twins?" the other replied "more like a litter!"
He was 10lb born and i was HUGE! It shocked me at the time but makes me chuckle now!

PregnantGrrrl · 01/04/2007 09:51

i didn't really have people touching my belly, but you will get lots of questions, over and over.

'how long now?'
'Do you know what it is?'
'How you feeling?'
'How long now...'

it gets boring after a while.

i liked the fact that i felt special though- that everyone could see i was carrying a little person. Probably sounds odd

Original poster

marieg76 · 03/04/2007 10:36

To Peeved from Purley and Moondog - regardless of what you think, there ARE women out there who a) actually wish to retain their relative anonimity and b) don't want to complete strangers commenting on and stroking their body!

I would be offended if strangers tried to touch me when I was't pregnant or felt the need to comment on how I looked. Why should the changes in MY body give them any cause for comments/ unwelcomed touching.

MY body - MY choice.

OP posts:

agnesnitt · 03/04/2007 14:07

The joy of being too big for people to notice
Seriously though, I relate to the hating to be touched thing. It's an invasion of personal space and absolutely nobody has the right to do that, be you pregnant or otherwise.
For those mums that like the attention, fine and dandy, but to assume that everyone else has to like it too is rude and unnecessary.

RedLorryYellowLorry · 03/04/2007 14:11

KathrynHarriet - PMSL!

Hopeitwontbebig · 03/04/2007 14:26

well said marieg!

BakuJen · 08/04/2007 16:39

It is nice to feel special, and I love it when peopel ask politely and in a caring way about the bump. But actually touching me without an invitation? I can't stand it. Couldn't the first time and can't this. It's mainly female colleagues at work, although the male ones seem to find it OK to comment on how much I am eating each day. I also get the 'wow, you are soooo pregnant..when are you due? Three more months? No way!' type stuff, and it makes me want to run wild with a semi-automatic. Add to that DH who chants 'who ate all the pies?', asks me why my thighs have melted and then bemoans a lack of sex....
I'm beginning to think that a secluded nunnery with a large stock of pasta and chocolate is the answer. Oh, and my boobs have gone from 34GG (and I'm normally size 14 everywhere else) to 36J and counting. If anyone so much as lays a hand on those, there'll be international headlines, I swear.

Original poster

marieg76 · 10/04/2007 11:37

Poor you Bakujen - it must be really frustrating having your DH compounding the issue with his "amusing" songs. My DH tends to comment on the size of my tummy (I'm only 14 weeks but tend to get very bloated in the evenings so look bigger than I am) and it makes me feel self-conscious - am I putting on too much weight etc. I do find that I barely eat in the evenings and really don't tend to make up for it during the day due to nausea. Given that many pregnant women feel large and uncomfortable/unsexy during their pregnancies, it really would help if other people minded their own business wouldn't it!

OP posts:

lazyemma · 10/04/2007 11:48

Bakujen - I sympathise. A friend came to visit the other day, who hadn't seen me for a couple of months. The first thing - literally the very first thing - she said after "hello" was: "God, look at you! You've really filled out. And not just on your bump either, your face looks a lot fatter too". I said "er. cheers for pointing that out". She must've known she'd overstepped the mark as she did apologise later, but ruined it rather when I said "that's OK. It just sucks that pregnancy seems to be the only time people feel they can comment on the way you look" and she replied "that's because it's the only time they can get away with it". I mean: wtf? Why would you want to "get away with" making someone feel self-conscious and miserable.

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