Aibu?

[Jessiecat27]

I feel like people aren't as friendly on aibu so I thought I'd post here.

My oh has recently been diagnosed with depression (unsure if related) he has a massive group of friends and I don't have many. I'm not one for going out often, I'm 23 weeks pregnant so obviously can't drink (another reason I don't go out) but he goes out most weekends drinking.
I've asked if we can get a group together to go to a local pub instead so everyone else can drink and I can still socialise but sit down and relax rather than 'clubbing' but they don't seem interested. I hate sitting home alone all of the time, oh is going out for a friend's birthday Friday and wants to go out Saturday to a club with friends. I asked him if we could go out instead for a nice meal and make a day of it as we haven't gone and done anything as a couple in a month or two but he's adamant he wants to go out instead.
I guess I just feel lonely because I don't have anyone that wants to have a nice relaxed weekend instead.
Aibu to want to spend some time with oh before I get too fat to want to go and do something?

Personally I don't think you're being unreasonable, plus (as I'm sure your oh might be aware) alcohol is a massive depressant so whilst he might feel better after a few his mood is far more likely to drop afterwards. Your idea of all going to a pub sounds like a nice compromise for both of you :)

YANBU. But, did your social life always revolve around clubbing and booze? If so, you were optimistic and perhaps a touch naive to expect him to change when you did. Either way, you need a serious conversation with him. Does he expect to be going out every Friday and Saturday, and spending the day sleeping off a hangover and late night, leaving you alone holding the baby?

Your oh is being unreasonable in my opinion. Is the drinking on weekends new behavior or has he always done it? Does he plan to continue with these nights out once baby arrives?

I really don't mind him going out with his friends especially as I know he won't get to as much when baby gets here. I just thought a nice meal just the two of us or even a few friends would make a nice change but apparently not. I can't stand up all night in a club not drinking, especially as he usually stays out until 4/5 when the place closes. Wondered if his depression was related but he doesn't talk about he feels to me so I'm not sure. I feel a bit better knowing that other people would feel the same way

He's always been very sociable but we've always said if he goes out one weekend we would do something the next, even if it's just something free like a walk around the local park, I'm not expecting us to go out every weekend but as we work through the week I do like to do something nice on the weekend as I have a very stressful job

Its compromise. He goes out on a weekend clubbing with his mates and the next one he does something with you. My dp wouldn't dare leave me every weekend on my own when I'm pregnant with his child. I definitely would have a conversation with him about this.

YANBU

Thank you, I'll try and speak to him!

My ex used to do this. He's my ex. My partner now would no way do tbis.

You don't sound unreasonable at all to me. These people he goes clubbing with til 4/5am every Saturday, do they have children? Are you among the first of your friends to have a baby? If so, it may be a difficult transition for him (and you!).
I would definitely try to get a better balance between time spent with his friends drinking and time spent with you NOW before the baby arrives. Otherwise he may become very resentful if you try to get him to change his behaviour 'because of the baby' (speaking from bitter experience with a DH who also happens to suffer from depression).
Good luck!

Thank you, well another friend has an older child but has joint custody of weekends but other than that it's just us. I know it's a big change and it'll be a big change for both of us but surely he's realised that by now? I just want him to see it from my point of view