FATHERS RIGHTS!!! PLEASE HELP

[Lydsss982017]

So my brother got his ex girlfriend pregnant (while they were together) as soon as she found out she was pregnant she kicked him out of the house he was paying for and broke up with him. She is now 20+ weeks. Hes gone to the 12 week scan but as of last month shes said he isnt going to have anything to do with the baby etc. However shes said he needs to buy stuff her her for the baby, but hes been buying the stuff he needs for the baby. Shes being extremely horrible to him and making him depressed. Shes blocked him and his family on facebook etc. So we cant even find out the gender (as she hasnt been telling my brother the dats of the scans). Im just hoping that something can be done! Its so selfish to the child for the mother to decide hes not allowed anything to do with it. Please help and inform me on the fathers rights.
Thank you

Unless he is on birth certificate he won't have any rights.

He can go to court (and self-represent if he can't afford a lawyer/get Legal Aid) to get parental rights, and then access established, even if he's not on the birth certificate. He may need to take a DNA test. Once the baby is born, he should approach the CSA or whatever they're called these days, to sort out the basic finances. He can then discuss "extras" with his ex.

That's just not right. I can't stand women who use children as weapons. The child has a right to be brought up by its dad as much as its mum. The child will only grow up resenting the mother and missing out on so much they will never be ever to get back.

He has no rights at this point..

The child has a right to a relationship with both parents..However there is far more to this story than you are telling.

He has no rights to attend scans or the birth.

I promise you there is NO MORE to this story! The girl is being extremely horrible to my brother about this and has continued to use this baby as a weapon against him to get him to do what she wants him to. Then when he does she turns around and says hes not having anything to do with the child. Its his child as much as hers. Yes shes carrying it but it takes two. After they broke up I did find out from others she had done this before when she was 18 and used the baby against him but miscarried. Also discovered when she worked in an old peoples home she stole from the elderly. Just shows you the character she is. I promise you he hasnt been abusive at all in anyway. Shes a very vile person to walk this planet.

(When she was 18 she was with another guy, not my brother incase it confuses anyone)

It really has sickened me. I didnt think there were people out there like that. Especially if there is no reason for it apart from being selfish. Shes making this whole experience extremely miserable, when it should be a happy one.

She certainly does sound like a nasty piece of work but your brother needs to stop thinking about his rights and think about his responsibilities and the child's rights. The child already has the misfortune to have an irresponsible and vile mother, so he needs to be the best possible father. While the child is small maybe he/she will be best off with mum but once a bit older he should go for at least 50:50 residence if not more but this is for the sake of the child, not for self-centred reasons of "rights".

He just wants to be a father to his child. Hes bought a pram, car seat, bath, and all little things for them (this was before she decided to not let him see the child). But he still hopes he can at least know his baby, and hold them when they will be born, or just simply be sent pictures of the scan and know the gender. I mean, why keep that away from him :( my mother is in pieces about this whole situation as well. Its not just affecting my brother but my whole family as we are very family orientated. But i guess it ll be a long process and possible a while after the birth before we finally meet the little one :(

Until the baby is born he has no rights. He has no rights to attend any scans or appointments or even be present during the labour or childbirth. If she doesn't want him to visit in hospital after it is born then he has no rights to. The hospital staff will aks him to leave if she requests it.

What he needs to do as soon as the baby is born (or as soon as he knows it has been born) is email her/text her so it is in writing requesting to be present when she registers the birth of the baby and that he is named as father and also ask that they arrange a schedule for him to see the baby. The baby has rights to contact with both parents. If she refuses to name him as father or allow contact then he needs to get a solicitor and take advice which will possibly involve going to court to have his name added to the birth certificate.

He doesn't have to buy anything for the baby before it is born but if he is a decent father he will provide some equipment it will need. He should also work out how much child support he should pay and send that to the mother from when the baby is born. He should do this via bank transfer not cash so there is a record of it.

Xpost! I see he has already bought equipment.

Until the child is born and he goes to court, your brother has no rights OP. He needs to stop spending money on baby stuff, not pay his Ex a penny and start saving for his legal bills which will be considerable.

Hand on my heart there is no other reason! No back story! Nothing! They moved in together, he had to pay for everything, she won £200 and spent it all in a day, and didnt put any money to rent, food etc. Then she found out she was pregnant and instantly kicked him out, the next day she went to the housing executive to try to get them to pay for the housing but she was told she wouldnt get any help till closer to the time she was due. So she moved back in with her parents. Shes an irresponsible person. Her parents told me and my mother how they got her a flat (which was £300 a month) and she didnt bother paying the rent so got kicked out. Then her stepdad got her a car etc. And she let her ex ex ex boyfriend drive around in it, racing and damaged it so much it was worthless. I have screenshotted messages of what shes been saying to my brother about this whole situation. Hand on my heart there isnt anything im hiding or "struggling to accept". I know everything about the situation.

Its also why no one can understand why she is doing this!

If he is not on the birth certificate and must apply to the courts for Parental Rights and Responsibility, he can self-represent without the need and expense of a solicitor.

He can have the support of a McKenzie friend (a lay person who is almost always someone who has been through the process themselves and knows the ropes).

May I also suggest the website Wikivorce? Here's the link to the Children-divorce advice forum. www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice/Children/

You don't have to be married/going through a divorce to benefit from the wealth of legal advice on this forum. I was in litigation for about two years with my ex-husband and found Wikivorce invaluable. I represented myself in court. I was not entitled to legal aid but I was on a low income and could never afford a solicitor. Self-representing was perfect. But you have to go in there knowing what outcome you would like to achieve and you have to remember that you are always working within the framework of the law. You're not going in there to to prove a point but to have your rights,and the child's rights, upheld.

Try not to get caught up in the drama. It is what it is. And yes, it sucks. But the best thing your brother could do is know his rights and those of his child. Focus on that and he'll be fine. Best of luck to your brother. It's very upsetting for the whole family, I am sure. But this grim time will pass.