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Original poster

Too young at 25?

26 replies

betsy2 · 25/07/2017 17:38

This is my first post on here.... really looking for some advice!

I'm 25, married to my childhood sweetheart (for a year), and own my own house. I have a good job and my husband is just about to get a promotion. My husband and I have been talking about having babies for as long as I can remember and all I have ever wanted is to be a mum.

But, now that we are at the point where we are talking more seriously about trying for a baby, I'm panicking that people will say we are 'too young'. We would be the first of our friends to have a baby, and so I don't really have anyone to talk to about baby-related dramas. It seems that everyone around me is at least 30 before they have a baby but I'm so broody, it's literally all I think about each day.

My parents are very ambitious, and I have always wanted to make them proud... they divorced when I was very young and I have an unhealthy obsession with making everyone happy... and I think this is holding me back.

Cutting a very long story short, I want it to be an exciting time and not be worrying about what other people think.... do you think 25 is too young? Or am I being stupid/ over-thinking?

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Needsomeflapjacks · 25/07/2017 17:39

I had 4 dc at 24. .

You are def overthinking things.

IdentifiesAsASloth · 25/07/2017 17:41

^^what they said.

Ava1985 · 25/07/2017 17:47

I think it's an ideal age given everything you have and also how you describe that your ready and really want it Smile

I had my first at 24, second at 27 and now no.3 is due when I will be 32!

20's is a good age for kids! Good luck! X

TwitterQueen1 · 25/07/2017 17:48

Don't even bother asking OP. No-one else's opinion matters. No-one's.

If you feel ready, if this is what you want, GO FOR IT!

There is no right / wrong / too early / too late. It's what you want that is the deciding factor here (and your DH of course!)

Newdad19 · 25/07/2017 17:48

We were in the same boat here. Childhood sweethearts, married, secure good jobs, owned our own house and first kid on the way at 25.

A couple of people did pass comment but to be honest you just need to ignore it and not care what they think as long as its what you want.

We have loved every minute being "young" parents.

HCantThinkOfAUsername · 25/07/2017 17:49

I'm 25 with a 4&1 year old and haven't encountered any comments

cheminotte · 25/07/2017 17:59

It will be difficult being the first of your friends and you may lose some friendships. You will make new friends and if you can keep in touch with your existing ones at some level you may find you are able to rekindle the friendship if they have kids a few years after you.

WishUponAStar88 · 25/07/2017 18:01

I had dd1 at 26 and didn't feel at all young, plenty younger and plenty older in "mum" friend groups. You seem in a very good position to start a family - good luck!

WishUponAStar88 · 25/07/2017 18:03

But yes I was the first of my existing friends to have children and whilst still friends it has changed the dynamics of the friendship with some but not all.

TeaTeaTea · 25/07/2017 18:05

My Mum was 25 when she had me, had my sister a year later then my parents had 2 more 13 years later (all planned but wanted more children). My mum does admit that having me and my first sister was easier as she was younger but it's not 'too young' (you're in your prime!). I'd have had mine then if I'd met my DH sooner.
Good luck starting your family! Smile

kel1234 · 25/07/2017 18:13

I don't think it matters. I was 22 when I had my first baby (now 24). And we decided to ttc when we'd been together for 2 months. And on top of that we got married the date we'd been together for 11 months.
So yeah, married within a year of even meeting each other for the first time, and decided to try for a baby after 2 months together.
But we couldn't be happier if we tried.

Blondielongie · 25/07/2017 18:17

You are not too young. If you are 25 now, you will be 26 when the baby is born, 27 when the baby is a year old etc etc, its not too young. And you are old enough to make your own decisions don't you think!!??!? :)

Mummamayhem · 25/07/2017 18:18

It's not that young. By the time baby arrived you'd probably be 26. I had my first at 27 and where I lived I was considered a young mum but that's just silly. Age doesn't make a good or bad parent.

Undercoverbanana · 25/07/2017 18:18

Physically and practically you sound in the perfect place to have a child. You have a home and a job and you are at an age before your fertility levels drop. However, if you are still worrying about pleasing others, I wonder if you are mature enough. There is no time for worrying about what other people think once you have a child, trust me. Also, you haven't said what your boyfriend thinks. Is he ready?

Whathaveilost · 25/07/2017 18:21

Young at 25?
You kidding?

fishfingerSarnies · 25/07/2017 18:21

I'd say 25 is ideal. I was 26 when my dd was born lots of people thought it was an accidental pregnancy but it wasn't. I'm now 30 having my 3rd most of my friends are just starting to think about having babies but I like that we are done.

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers · 25/07/2017 18:27

I waited too long. Don't wait. Go for it.

Gothbaby · 25/07/2017 18:57

I had just gotten married when I got pregnant! Actually found out a couple of days after my 25th birthday that I was pregnant! One thing i havent had at all is comments about my age! Don't think about it too much if you feel like you're in a good place to have a child then go for it no one can tell you otherwise! X

Sasmac2017 · 27/07/2017 10:09

I don't think you're too young, I had my first at 24, and about to have DC2 at 29. I think if anything, it will be harder being an older mum. Different story for my hubby, he's 43!! I laughed and told him he'll still have kids living at home when he's 60.... If he lives to see the day haha :)

woodhill · 27/07/2017 10:18

Good age. I had first dc at 26

crazyhorses3 · 27/07/2017 10:20

As long as you feel ready, can support a child and have done the things you want to do in life that you can't do with children, go for it. I felt the same at your age. I had my first at 27, but I wanted children for a long time before that.

Carley27 · 27/07/2017 10:21

I'm in a similar situation - 25, married for a year, both have stable jobs, homeowners - and I'm currently 19 weeks pregnant.

Your circumstances are a lot more important than your age, some people are ready for kids earlier than others. You will meet other mums at things (NCT classes, playgroup etc.) so I wouldn't worry too much about being the first in your friendship group.

YoureNotASausage · 27/07/2017 10:25

It would have been too young for me but that's nothing to do with you and your situation. Sounds like you've settled down long ago. I didn't until I was 30 (though was with my now husband from 24).

Original poster
betsy2 · 27/07/2017 10:30

Thanks everyone! You've all helped so much! I've always been an over-thinker and worry too much about the smallest things - God help me when I do have children!!
My husband is all for having children - he's as excited as I am at the prospect so it looks like we will start trying towards the end of the year!
I think because I've been so broody for as long as I can remember it doesn't feel real that the time is actually here!

OP posts:
demirose87 · 27/07/2017 10:32

No its not too young. I'm 29 and having my fourth. I had my first at 20. But I think it goes on more than just age, such as what stage you are in your life and if you have achieved what you want to achieve before you have a baby x

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