Boyfriend won't have sex with me

[Courtney10891]

Hi ladies, so kinda need to vent aswell as get some advice. I am currently 35 weeks pregnant with my first baby. Before pregnancy me and my boyfriend had a very active sex life. It has completely changed. In the last day 10 weeks we have had sex like four times. We haven't had sex now in three weeks. He says he wants to, but he can't stop thinking about the little boy in my belly and he can't do it. I don't think he understands how unattractive and fat I feel. I'm already struggling and this is making me feel so much worse. I believe sex is a big part of a relationship and I feel so distant from him. I wanna feel sexy and attractive like I did pre pregnancy. I wanna feel back to normal. I hate feeling this way. He still hugs me and kisses me and says how beautiful I am but I'm constantly feeling rubbish and feel like he's just not attracted to me any more. I know this pregnancy is nearly over but what can I do to get through the next month. Hate feeling this way normally I'm such a positive person.

Could you find somewhere between sex and kisses, like oral? If it's penetration that worries him. Or if it's your bump, maybe start with a romantic back massage and see where that leads?

See, I'm the total opposite. I'm not in the mood at all yet DH is. I totally understand the feeling unattractive aspect though as I feel that way. I agree with above; is oral an option, or using vibrators etc? I'll give a hand job if I'm not in the mood as well and DH never complains about it. But we've not had sex much at all due to it being uncomfortable for me.

It might help if you find health articles that encourage sex during pregnancy and that the baby really isn't in any danger (Unless of course your GP or MW has said to avoid it). Or can he think/watch something else while your dtd?

Honestly I think this is a really hard one. I totally understand how you feel but I can understand men who aren't turned on by the thought of their child in the mums belly. My DH was one of them and I just felt I had to respect that, it wasn't that he didn't find me attractive, it was that looking at me made him think of our baby and that's not a sexy thought.

I ahem got myself through it. It's not long now til baby is here.

To be honest I don't want to be the one to constantly be trying to make him get in the mood. I want him to want me and to make the first move. He couldn't keep his hands off me before I got pregnant. Just hope it snaps back to normal after the baby is born. I guess I have let myself go a bit but pregnancy is difficult it's tiring and exhausting!!

Honestly this isn't about him not finding YOU attractive, it's about his son in your belly and that weirding him out and making him not be able to think of sex whilst also thinking of your boy. I'm sure you're still very hot, honestly

I know it's annoying because you can still feel like sex and your son is inside you but please stop beating yourself up. It's not about how you look, it's about the human inside you

29 weeks here babe and my boyfriend can't stand having sex with me anymore! Every since I started to show he hasn't wanted too have sex really. He said he worries because his dick is rather large and he doesn't want to hurt me or the baby. And once his hand got kicked off my belly during sex 😂 he said it felt like she was telling him off and he had to apologise because he couldn't carry on after. It's (Almost) sweet because they are thinking about baby as frustrating as that is for us ladies who do like a romp maybe once a day! Am deff starting to loose sex drive now though....... it better come back lol

Hey OP, my hubby was a bit like that with our first DC towards the end. I totally understand how you feel, but like 2 weeks after birth apparantley he found me very attractive after birthing his beautiful son. Lol. I'm at the end of pregnancy with DC2 and it's probably like 1x a week which is ok. Just turn the lights off and jump him lol. Just kidding.....try not to get upset. I do totally understand and sympathise, but can also see their weird male side of it too xx

Years ago when in hospital after having my DC, there was a woman in the bed opposite who's husband had refused to have sex all way through her pregnancy. He was terrified that if he did PIV that the baby - I kid you not - would BITE his penis!

So, it's not you my lovely, and it's not really him, it's about your soon to be born baby.

I'm in a rubbish situation, first time here so hi all. Well, the first 3 months of pregnancy I hated my partner, I couldn't stand him being near me, everything smelt horrible, I was waking up threw the night for no reason, had tiredness etc, work was hard as I have SPD again. The middle 3 months were much better but now I'm in my last trimester with 7 weeks to go & all these feelings towards my partner have come back, I'm waking for no reason at 2am/4am... we've been intermate on & off threw the pregnancy but now being in the last 3minths I hate him again, I move away when I feel he's gonna come near me, he's constantly hinting and being sexually suggestive and it's driving me mad! I'm just not interested & it's making me hate him more. I've tried talking to him but it still continues, I was up threw the night so I'm knackered once again, he messaged me whilst he was in bed asking if I'd give him a bj!!! Now I've seen my a** big time😥