22 weeks and being ignored

[user1497125747]

Hi just looking for so advice, I am 22 weeks pregnant had a brief relationship with the father. He wanted an abortion when I found out I was pregnant but came around after about a week. I had afew complications at first so needed extra scans some of which he came too, he also came to the sexing scan and come shopping for baby clothes. Around 16 weeks he just never responded again, I sent many messages he just reads them and doesn't reply. I asked him to come to my 20 week scan I actually got a response and he said he wanted to come, I gave him the date and time he never showed and hasn't communicated since. I am finding this extremely hard I don't want a relationship or money I just want support and for him to be their for our child. It's hard not knowing what I have done wrong or what's happening. It's confusing when making future plans like labour babies last name, both which he said he wanted to be apart of. He literally just reads my texts and never gets in touch, how much time do I actually give him ? I feel like I have reached out so much and I am getting treated awful. Just don't know where to go from here. Thank you

I'd cut your losses. He's clearly not wanting to be involved with you or you child. Send him one last message clarifying that for now the door is open of he wants to communicate with you and the ball is in his court, and you won't be providing him with any more updates.

You and your child deserve better than him. Do you have a good support network in place?

Deep down I think I no that it's just hard and confusing like why read my messages. If I didn't want to be involved with something I'd block that person, don't understand why he was on board then suddenly vanished !

Yes my sister is brilliant and my friend helps me as much as possible. I already have to children on my own, this baby was an accident but a happy one for me at least

If he's not going to be consistent now then I would just cut him out completely of all your plans. He can't just keep walking in and out when ever he feels like it, it's not fair on you or your baby. He doesn't sound reliable at all x

Move on OP, switch your focus to your pregnancy. Send him the necessary updates and keep it moving. He is being extremely rude to read the messages and not reply, imagine what he may start doing once you give birth. You'll need to save this energy for the baby and not be confused by his inconsistency.

Think that's the only thing I have control over, I just wanted him to be involved. Thank you for your support x

As hard as it is just remember you've made the effort to involve him and tried your best for your baby

Give the baby your last name.
Sorry he's being such an arse

This exact same thing happened to my friend.

Exactly the same, he said he wanted her to have an abortion. Then he came round. Then he stopped communicating.

My friend spent a long time not knowing what was going on. TBH she never really got closure. Many years later, he still isn't involved.

I think she wishes she'd have moved on earlier, but it was the confusion of coming along to scans, and then disappearing.

We think it was outside influences, but we don't know for sure.

Focus on yourself. Focus on your baby. You'll do just fine and much better without him

Thanks so much everyone think it's hard getting my head around that he's defiantly not the person I thought he was. Spend a lot of really good months with him. Your right it's extremely rude to read and ignore someone. The hardest thing is not knowing why he has just stopped responding. Thanks for all your support everyone brilliant to know there's still people who care xx