What if I'm crap at it?

[BalticUnicorn]

It's suddenly dawned on me I might not be cut out for this.
I'm selfish and like to do what I want. I find working and arranging myself hard work. I'm tired person I need down time and naps. I have depression too I hate feeling penned in and like to be independent this doesn't bode well does it?

You could be describing me.

Parenthood has not changed me as radically as I would have hoped, I adore my dd, but I also find it extremely hard work. I'm hoping it will improve as she gets older and more self sufficient (she's 2.5), and I only hope I don't fuck her up too much in the meantime. My saving grace is that I have an extremely supportive partner and we split her care 50/50.

You will love your child more than you can imagine though, and it makes up for a lot of things.

Everyone's crap at it to start with - you learn as you go along (and it doesn't make any difference if you read all the books in the world!)

I feel like this all the time and I'm not even pregnant! We are TTC but deciding to try was such a hard decision to make and I swing every month between really wanting it to happen and sheer panic in case it has! I think the answer must be that we are both lunatics!

Work have said I can't go back part time either so I've got that to think about. Today I've felt awful baby moving loads making me feel faint and no one will just fuck off and leave me alone

And my parent s are going to want to be very involved and God forgive me I can't bear the constant interference

Some days I'm the best parent in the world, but most days I'm bloody awful at it. But we're all still here, fed and warm and tomorrow is another day. You'll be a mum, not a miracle worker. You will be learning as well as toot child. Just take each day as it comes.